Oh sh'it, my fire monkey..

[imgspoiler]http://img393.imageshack.us/img393/6876/charred07vj2.jpg[/imgspoiler]

Me: “Tech support, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Your d*** program keeps closing on me!”

(Note: the program she is referring to is our website.)

Me: “What happens before the ‘program’ closes?”

Customer: “I click ‘printer friendly’ so I can print off the page, then I use File->Close to get back to where I was, and the d***ed program keeps kicking me out!”

Me: “You click File->Close?”

Customer: “Yeah! This keeps happening to me with a lot of things! I hate computers.”

Me: “Don’t click File->Close. Try clicking on the back button. It’s the button with the arrow pointing to the left.”

Customer: “There it goes! Wow, you must have to do a lot of training for your job!”

http://notalwaysright.com/closing-arguments/2381

i fcking LOVE this site, i found it a while ago but couldnt remember it D: thanks for reminding me about it

(I am one of the few women working at my computer store. One day a male customer speaks up near me.)

Customer: “Wow, that’s a pretty big rack you’ve got there!”

Me: *looking up from monitor screen* “…excuse me?”

(I then follow his gaze to see him looking at a giant walk-in rack mount we have for sale.)

Customer: “Oh, wow. I gotta watch how I phrase things.”

Old Woman: “Excuse me sir…I need some batteries.”

Me: “Of course. What kind do you need?”

Old Woman: “I…I’m not sure.”

Me: “Not a problem. What do you need the batteries for? I might be able to match them up to the product.”

Old Woman: “…I need them for my ghetto blaster.”

Customer: “… Uggghhh!”

Me: “What happened?”

Customer: “Well, I’ll be honest. It’s adding my porn.”

Me: *silence* “Oh….”

Customer: “Please make it stop! I don’t want porn on my iPod!”

Me: “Click the little X near the top.”

Customer: “Okay, it stopped.”

Me: “Try adding the My Music folder again.”

Customer: “It’s doing it again! Oh God!”

Me: “Okay, uh… let’s just move it from your My Music folder to a new folder in My Documents.”

Customer: “Okay, I’ll do that.”

(few seconds of silence pass while he moves the files)

Customer: “Oh, man. It’s gonna take 24 minutes for all the files to move.”

Me: “Twenty-four minutes? Are you sure?!”

Customer: “Yes, I’m sure.”

(I show him how to do some other unrelated action while the porn is moved)

Customer: “Alright, great. Now that we’re done concealing my shame….”