Oh sh'it, my fire monkey..

Customer: *storms up to desk* “I DEMAND A REFUND!”

(She slams a copy of Pokemon Platinum on the counter.)

Me: “Certainly, what seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “My freaking fire monkey DIED! See?”

(She pulls the DS from her pocket, turns it on, enters game, and shows me that her Pokemon [a chimchar] has no HP.)

Me: “Well, I can…erm…revive your ‘fire monkey’ if you’d like.”

Customer: “What are you, some freaking Pokemon priest?! MY FIRE MONKEY IS DEAD!”

Me: “No, no, look.”

(I control her character to go to a Pokemon Center and heal up her Pokemon.)

Me: “There, all better.”

Customer: “THANK YOU! YOU SAVED MY FIRE MONKEY! HOW CAN I EVER REPAY YOU?!”

Me: “Um…no problem, ma’am. Glad to help.”

Customer: “AND SO HUMBLE! YOU SAVED MY FIRE MONKEY!” *leaves store*

http://notalwaysright.com/preserving-lif...-time/1880

MY GRASS TURTLE IS DEAD. What do I do?

LMFAO!
A customer asking for a refund on a game that he/she doesn't even know how to play?

Customer: “Excuse me, but I have a complaint to make.”

Me: “Oh, sure. What’s the matter?”

Customer: “I heard a group of teenagers over there talking, and they said the cake that you serve is a lie.”

Me: “…”

Customer: “What exactly do you have to say for yourselves?! I come in here, expecting to find a decent establishment, only to find out you are selling fake food!!”

Me: “Um, ma’am. They were repeating a popular phrase from the internet. I can assure you, the cake that we sell very much exists.”

Customer: “Prove it! Show me this cake.”

Me: *points*

Customer: “Oh. In that case you should write a letter to the internet about how they’re making up rumors about your products.”

Me: “I’ll… I’ll do that. Thank you.”

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Words cannot grasp the true retardness of this...

Me: “Hello, how can I help you?”

Customer: “There’s something wrong with my daughter.”

Me: “Oh?”

Customer: “Her eyes keep closing on their own!”

Me: “…ma’am, that’s called blinking.”

only noobs kill their fire monkeys =]

lmao myles

http://notalwaysright.com

wow...
just... my mind...
i think im wanting this race to be exterminated... -_-

Caller: “I would like to buy a mirror please.”

Me: “Okay, we have beveled edges, shaped mirrors, plain mirrors. What sort were you after?”

Caller: “Well I just need one to cover this space. So, can you tell me how much it’s going to cost?”

Me: “Sure. I just need to know how big you need it.”

Caller: “What do you need to know that for? It’s just a normal mirror.”

Me: “I need to know the dimensions so I can give you a proper price.”

Caller: “Fine, then. Hang on.” *Few minutes pass.* “Are you there?”

Me: “Yes, I’m here. How big is it?”

Caller: “It’s this big.”

Me: “How big?”

Caller: “I said it’s this big.”

Me: “Are you standing there with your arms out?”

Caller: “Yes, why?”

Me: “Well, because I can’t see how big ‘this’ is. Look, I’ll send out a rep to quote you, okay?”

Caller: “Fine then, come as quickly as you can. I’m a busy woman, you know!”


Another:



Caller: “When is my DSL install going to be done?”

Me: “In two days, sir.”

Caller: “My wife and children just died in a car accident yesterday. I need the internet sooner than that.”

Me: “I’m very sorry to hear that. I will provide you a complimentary dialup account until your DSL is installed.”

Caller: “But dialup is too slow…cancel my order!”

Me: “Sir, if I cancel your order and you wish to schedule service again later, there is a three week wait.”

Caller: “I don’t care! Do it!”

(The next day, the same customer calls back.)

Caller: “Hi, I need to know when my DSL is being installed.”

Me: “Sir, you canceled your order yesterday. Would you like me to reschedule it?”

Caller: “Yes, but I’m not waiting weeks for it, my wife is divorcing me and my kids need it for school.”

Me: “I’m glad to hear that your wife and children have recovered from the fatal car accident.”

Caller: *silence* “So…can I still get the dialup until my DSL is installed?”

Me: “Absolutely!”

Jews and Bacon do not go together very well.

(A customer comes in to pick up a catered BLT tray she had previously ordered over the phone.)

Customer: “I can’t take these, they have bacon on them!”

Me: “I apologize, ma’am, there must have been a mistake. This ticket is for the BLT tray?”

Customer: “Right, that’s right. You shouldn’t put bacon on them! My boss is Jewish!”

Me: “But you did order the BLT?”

Customer: “Right, yes.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, there must have been a misunderstanding. The BLT comes with bacon, lettuce, and tomato. I can get a manager to help you correct the order if you’d like.”

Customer: “But my boss is Jewish!”

Me: “I completely understand; we’d be happy to remake the tray for you if you’re willing to wait about ten minutes until we serve the people in our take-out line.”

Customer: “But my boss is Jewish!”

Me: “I understand, and I apologize. We’ll be happy to remake the tray for you without bacon if you can wait just a few minutes.”

Customer: “I can’t wait that long!” (She rips off the tray and starts throwing strips of bacon on the counter. The manager looks up and sees her.)

Manager: “Excuse me, ma’am, that’s against the health code!”

Customer: “But my boss is Jewish!”

I read every single story on that site. What now?

I read every single story on that site. What now?

You just lost the game.

You just lost the game.

I put in another quarter.

I put in another quarter.

It spits it out at you and the quarter becomes Link from the Legend of Zelda.

It spits it out at you and the quarter becomes Link from the Legend of Zelda.

And then Greg haunts you in your dreams.

And then Greg haunts you in your dreams.

Haunt? I'd love to dream about greg. As he would love to dream about me.

More plox.

Me: “Hello, thank you for calling [electronics store]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi. I bought a Game Boy for my son a few days ago from your store, and it’s not working.”

Me: “Did you purchase a warranty?”

Customer: “Yes, is there anything you can do? My son was playing it earlier, and it suddenly turned off and refuses to turn back on.”

Me: “Maybe it ran out of batteries. Did you try and recharge them?”

Customer: “Wait, this uses batteries?”

Me: “Yeah, there’s a charger that comes in the box. Try plugging that in and waiting a few minutes and then seeing if it works.”

Customer: “But I threw the box out.”

Me: “Did you take everything out of the box?”

Customer: “Let me ask my son.”

(I was put on hold for a minute.)

Customer: “Well, I found the charger, but it doesn’t look like I’ll be needing it.”

Me: “Why not?”

Customer: “My son just snapped the system in half because he couldn’t get it to work. I don’t suppose the warranty covers that?”

Me: “Unfortunately, no.”

Customer: “I see. Then I have one more question: do you have any electronic child-spanking-devices?”

Me: “Nope, sorry.”

Customer: “I see. Guess I’ll need to do it the old fashioned way.” *click*