Too shallow to get a girlfriend?

BTW we're all throwing daggers at you because we're all nerdy virgins that play video games that would kill for a chance for a girl to ask us out, no matter really how pretty they are.

Speak for yourself. There are plenty here who have had relationships and had a girl ask them out.

Satellite, the way you come across, while direct, also gives an impression that you are too good for the people you are around. Maybe it is that attitude that is giving you a problem in finding someone. That or be realistic in your expectations.

Also, the way you talk about girls is a little scary. They need to act like women is pretty out dated thinking and it shows a fair amount of disrespect for the opposite gender.

Sleeping with a girl would be nothing like sleeping with a man for you. The man would be penetrating you anus. Think that a over a couple times before saying that an ugly girl would be just like a guy.

If you really want to date a girl like the ones you described, start working out and eating healthy. It will improve your complexion and give you some muscle. Find a group that does public speaking and join it. It will give you confidence to be in debate or something similar. Maybe a tan would help you as well, since you seem to like girls tanned. That will also help with your complexion.