2011-11-30, 04:38 PM
Satellite Wrote:I'm 17 and turning 18 in just 3 months. I've never had a girlfriend IN REAL LIFE. Let's admit it. I was online dating with someone in MS, because of being so desperate. I've never kissed a girl outside some girl I knew when I was 3. I've actually liked girls as far as I can remember. The girls I found pretty... When I was a kid though, I kept these things and crushes a secret, other than between my friend and I. In fact some other people in my agegroup back then probably were still searching for their gender.
But suddenly when I was just about to graduate and got out of the normal school (at the age of 16, note that Finland has a different education system from that of the US) many people were openly having a girlfriend. Now I'm in "higher secondary school (or gymnasium)" and I have some female friends. One of them is dating, but I could've had a chance with her before that. Maybe. The thing is, I find all the girls I know, including her, too unattractive to date with. I have no clue what her current boyfriend sees in her. The ones I would date are hanging out in other groups and there's just no way a shy guy like me could approach them naturally.
From time to time I wonder if I'll ever get a girlfriend. Maybe my self-esteem is low, sometimes I feel bad cause I look so bad in photos and sometimes I think I look okay in front of the mirror. But I've been bullied in school when I was younger and that's why I sometimes think I'm ugly and useless nerd. I'm also a skinny person, all I can see is a slight sixpack when flexing my muscles. Most people tend to say to just drop down my standards. I can't do that... For me, sleeping with an ugly girl is the same as sleeping with a male. I'll rather just be single. It's better like that for both me and the other half. But I'm shallow, really really shallow. To descripe my taste, I like slim, tanned brunettes/black haired girls with brown/black eyes, who make up, dress and act like females and not like men and also pretty asian girls. Maybe this is cause I'm white and I just like something more exotic than what you see in Finland.
So there's my problem, lower apples taste bad and apples at the top seem to be out of my league and even if I tried to climb up there and pick those up, I'm sure I would fall down, break my leg and make a fool of myself. Besides, I bet pretty much all the hot girls are already dating.
Being shallow is not something you want to have, but I don't think that is your problem. The problem is your thought process on this whole situation. You complain about being shallow, but yet all your potential girls are "out of your league". It's going to be very difficult for your to find a girl if you keep on thinking this way. If you don't want to lower your standards, then you need to go after the hotter girls. If you think you have no chance with the hot girls, then you need to lower your standards. Choose one, you can't have both.
Why put hot girls on a pedestal? Don't put them above yourself when you don't know anything about them. They're people just like you and if you never go talk to them, then how will you know they're taken? Just go and talk to that hot girl. The worst thing she can do is reject your advances and rejection isn't all that bad. If she's rude about it, then she's a b'itch and not worth it. Most of the time, women will politely decline, and won't make a big deal about it. This is better than regret and having that "what if" lingering in your head. Don't take rejection personally and be outcome dependent.
It also seems that you are lacking in some self-confidence. If you can't learn to appreciate yourself, then how will a girl love you? Don't like the way you look? Go work out, even a little bit will boost your confidence. Now I might be opening a can of worms here, but here a 2 links I found helpful in boosting my confidence.
http://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/commen...ame_by_me/
http://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/commen...t_lessons/