2011-01-09, 05:27 AM
I have actually been thinking about the subject of how I personally handle negativity lately. I mean, for the times I'm not attempting to occupy my mind with other things.
I'll say flat out, I'm not a religious person at all. I'd go as far as faintly believing in the soul, but nothing beyond that. Lately however, I've been more inclined towards thinking of things as fate. I know, fate is such a romanticized word, but try to ignore that for now. I've had a number of times where I felt an oncoming event coming through signs or just ... feeling it. I suppose with the large number of recent close deaths, this is perhaps a way of me coping, but I tend to instead sort of shrug it off; almost comically, telling myself "I told you so".
This is not without its disadvantages though. I've lost my desire to feel attachment to things; and have become socially awkward because of it.
On the flip side of things; regarding karma; I have a partial belief in that, however backwards. Many times I wish for things to happen, which often do, however some sort of unpleasant event tends to come first as a sort of "payment" for what I wanted. For example; I had not finished an art assignment years ago and wished that there could be a storm that would cancel classes so that I'd have more time. I was thinking of the storms of the northern Midwest where I had lived before, but such things were not possible in the southern pacific. Later that day, the firestorm occurred. Another example; I needed motivation to seek work in this market for someone with next to no experience. I mentioned that the best way for me to be motivated out of the house would be to truly become alone here. We have to put our dog to sleep this week due to oral cancer, and the other two members of the house who stayed home died to cancer within the past year and a half.
In all likely-hood my mindset will change as I move forward. I'll probably look into "proper" ways of coping such as religion as I move forward.
I'll say flat out, I'm not a religious person at all. I'd go as far as faintly believing in the soul, but nothing beyond that. Lately however, I've been more inclined towards thinking of things as fate. I know, fate is such a romanticized word, but try to ignore that for now. I've had a number of times where I felt an oncoming event coming through signs or just ... feeling it. I suppose with the large number of recent close deaths, this is perhaps a way of me coping, but I tend to instead sort of shrug it off; almost comically, telling myself "I told you so".
This is not without its disadvantages though. I've lost my desire to feel attachment to things; and have become socially awkward because of it.
On the flip side of things; regarding karma; I have a partial belief in that, however backwards. Many times I wish for things to happen, which often do, however some sort of unpleasant event tends to come first as a sort of "payment" for what I wanted. For example; I had not finished an art assignment years ago and wished that there could be a storm that would cancel classes so that I'd have more time. I was thinking of the storms of the northern Midwest where I had lived before, but such things were not possible in the southern pacific. Later that day, the firestorm occurred. Another example; I needed motivation to seek work in this market for someone with next to no experience. I mentioned that the best way for me to be motivated out of the house would be to truly become alone here. We have to put our dog to sleep this week due to oral cancer, and the other two members of the house who stayed home died to cancer within the past year and a half.
In all likely-hood my mindset will change as I move forward. I'll probably look into "proper" ways of coping such as religion as I move forward.
Getting more off topic