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+--- Thread: A blessing in disguise, or not. (/showthread.php?tid=35852)
A blessing in disguise, or not. - Kalovale - 2011-01-08
We humans are, for some reason, instinctively aware of unfavorable events that happen to us. Be it physical or emotional, we seem to be more fixated on pains than we are on something, or anything, good.
So I ask you, Southperry, when something bad happens, what do you see it as?
A mere obstacle to be overcome in your quest for maturity?
A fair trade-off for the good things that did/will happen to you?
Or do you think things could have been worse, or much worse, and embrace the fact that you are "still doing pretty damned well"?
Or you just don't know at all and live through your days sluggishly until time has done its wonders on you, until history repeats itself?
How do you bring yourselves through difficulties that matter to you, personally?
I'm wondering, Southperry, what a bad thing actually is. "It could've been worse" never really makes sense to me, for just as likely as the "worse" option is to be true, the "better" option is also viable. What it could have been holds no real value, as no matter how much you want to believe (or actually believe), it just isn't the case.
Then, what is a bad event? If it's not relatively/subjectively compared with other events, is there a standardized scale of "event's quality"? Or is it simply just another of the bazillion occurrences that take place every complete turn the earth makes, and thus, holds no real significance?
Note: I know this might fit better in the blog system, but I want it to be more publicly open than self-centered. Then again, I could be the only one insane enough to be thinking these things, I don't know.
A blessing in disguise, or not. - xLuxMentisx - 2011-01-08
I think for a lot of people, their view on it depends on what that event is. I personally don't have a set outlook on bad stuff as always being "it could have been worse". Though really, my views often are a combination of two, if not all three, views. When people make the argument "it could have been worse" I think its only to put the situation into perspective, besides, almost everything could be better since nothing is perfect. Ultimately though,(I feel) bad events are subjective in the same way that good events are. One person could be thrilled to hear one piece of news that completely pisses another person off.
A blessing in disguise, or not. - Beloved - 2011-01-08
This sounds cheesy but...
In rough times, to pull through, I hold on and remember that my life was much more miserable than what it is now. The difference between then and now is that I have evidence that pomegranate is just gunna blow past like before. It's just a matter of time before i find my way out of the dark tunnel, back into the sunlight. This was just another trip and fall.
If hypothetically, things went really bad, then its a sign that i need to find my way out via a different route. The girl in my avatar symbolizes freedom. She reminds me that my life was what it was because I bound myself within my own limits .. my fear of change and my fear of uncertainty. I have always had the power to change.
A blessing in disguise, or not. - xLuxMentisx - 2011-01-08
Beloved Wrote:In rough times, to pull through, I hold on and remember that my life was much more miserable than what it is now. The difference between then and now is that I have evidence that pomegranate is just gunna blow past like before. It's just a matter of time before i find my way out of the dark tunnel, back into the sunlight. This was just another trip and fall.
A lot of people have the hardest time acquiring that mentality.
A blessing in disguise, or not. - 2147483647 - 2011-01-08
Humans are instinctively aware of unfavorable events because it's simply more productive to think about unfavorable events. The goal of life (for essentially everyone) is to pretty much narrow all the infinite number of opportunities down to only a few, predictable possibilities. This may seem counterintuitive, because people are constantly told to expand their horizons. However, because predictability implies comfort, there cannot exist comfort when there are infinite possibilities. People inevitably seek projected futures in which they feel comfortable.
That being said, there's no use in justifying the fact that an unfavorable event happened, because the longer a person spends trying these inevitably failing, "temporary fixes", the longer the person stays out of the path of desirability. The thing people think about when trying to return to the endpath is change. To take change into account, both favorable events and unfavorable events must be considered and weighed against one another.
People do not fixate on pain. It may seem that way because that's what they end up communicating to others, but it usually isn't. Unless you have depression.
A blessing in disguise, or not. - Worthyness - 2011-01-09
pomegranate happens. People have to learn that and not get all caught up in the moment. There are road blocks, but there are detours around them, sometimes for the better. Dwelling on the crappiness of life is no way to go through it. To live is to be able to experience all that we can in the time we are given.
A blessing in disguise, or not. - Eos - 2011-01-09
You have little to no control over what happens. Be thankful for the good, get over the bad and keep moving forward hoping for more good and trying to create as much good for others as you can out of the hope they'll do the same for you even though they probably won't. Expect only the reasonable and be appreciative of even the bare minimum returns from life. Ultimately surrender all sense of concern for what's outside your control and you'll be a lot happier. In 20 years, 100 years, 1000 years, 100,000 years your very existence will have little to no meaningful impact on anything and any record of who you were or what you did will have been distorted beyond your own recognition so it's certainly not worth being miserable in the brief blink of a life you have.
Spoiler
A blessing in disguise, or not. - Dredragon - 2011-01-09
I know this is dumb, but when something bad happens to me, I can see no other reason to it happening, other then karma.
I'd wonder what bad thing I've done. =S
This is the reason I always try to apologize to the person, or just not do bad things at all. There are still those times though, that you can't forgive anyone, and it's to late for that.
Or it just be random. But for me, I think about it like karma's everywhere.
A blessing in disguise, or not. - Kalovale - 2011-01-09
Eosian Wrote:On the subject of the truisms - We say "could have been worse" because better is the unlikelier of the two. Entropy exists, therefore the worst is always building up somewhere/somehow. Things break down, things dissolve, people die. The opposite never occurs without external influence therefore "could have been better" is not a probable natural outcome for most things. That aside we all know it could have been better, that's why it's being complained about in the first place, we point out it could've been even worse to again appreciate what breaks we did get. You didn't win the lotto but you still have a job, it could have been worse. Obviously winning the lotto would've been better than having a job, but a job is a nice thing to have when others are without.
Before things break down, they need to first be created; before people die, they need to have been born. If the end is considered undesirable by default, shouldn't the beginning, logically, be full of joy and laughters? Why is it that people, myself included, tend to dwell onto the sadness (by being conscious of it) whilst happiness, if any, seems ever always oh so short-lived?
That aside, when we do appreciate the worst not having been imposed on us, what makes it wrong to be pissed we didn't get what we wanted? Why should we be geared towards thinking "positively" and not rationally? That we should not cling onto the good things that didn't happen and hypocritically comfort ourselves with bad things that, also, didn't happen? That both things matter but we choose to only look at one, and not that both are factually meaningless? Why should we be biased? Why are we biased? Is it all for the sake of moving on and leading our life "positively"? Wouldn't we, then, be rather self-delusional?
A blessing in disguise, or not. - ChaosCorpse - 2011-01-09
I have actually been thinking about the subject of how I personally handle negativity lately. I mean, for the times I'm not attempting to occupy my mind with other things.
I'll say flat out, I'm not a religious person at all. I'd go as far as faintly believing in the soul, but nothing beyond that. Lately however, I've been more inclined towards thinking of things as fate. I know, fate is such a romanticized word, but try to ignore that for now. I've had a number of times where I felt an oncoming event coming through signs or just ... feeling it. I suppose with the large number of recent close deaths, this is perhaps a way of me coping, but I tend to instead sort of shrug it off; almost comically, telling myself "I told you so".
This is not without its disadvantages though. I've lost my desire to feel attachment to things; and have become socially awkward because of it.
On the flip side of things; regarding karma; I have a partial belief in that, however backwards. Many times I wish for things to happen, which often do, however some sort of unpleasant event tends to come first as a sort of "payment" for what I wanted. For example; I had not finished an art assignment years ago and wished that there could be a storm that would cancel classes so that I'd have more time. I was thinking of the storms of the northern Midwest where I had lived before, but such things were not possible in the southern pacific. Later that day, the firestorm occurred. Another example; I needed motivation to seek work in this market for someone with next to no experience. I mentioned that the best way for me to be motivated out of the house would be to truly become alone here. We have to put our dog to sleep this week due to oral cancer, and the other two members of the house who stayed home died to cancer within the past year and a half.
In all likely-hood my mindset will change as I move forward. I'll probably look into "proper" ways of coping such as religion as I move forward.
Getting more off topic
A blessing in disguise, or not. - Erebus - 2011-01-09
Depends on the event/situation.
I mean if you're house blows up due to something like a lightning strike and the insurence company calls it an "act of god" so they won't pay you... there's not really a "good" situation you can make out of it.
A blessing in disguise, or not. - Corn - 2011-01-09
A fair trade-off for the good things that did/will happen to you.
and
Karma X_X.
A blessing in disguise, or not. - Eos - 2011-01-09
Erebus Wrote:I mean if you're house blows up due to something like a lightning strike and the insurence company calls it an "act of god" so they won't pay you... there's not really a "good" situation you can make out of it.
You're still alive? Your family wasn't killed? You still have a job and the local churches/shelter are giving you a place to stay to help you get back on your feet?
A blessing in disguise, or not. - ChaosCorpse - 2011-01-09
Eosian Wrote:You're still alive? Your family wasn't killed? You still have a job and the local churches/shelter are giving you a place to stay to help you get back on your feet?
Yeah, I'd have to agree with this. And beyond that, it makes for a good conversational piece.
I mean, when I had a semi-truck hit my house, I made an art project out of it.
[SPOILER="Film placed over black and white picture, lines traced on that, painted on original picture. They were taped together, but it kinda slid over the years. I just found the irony in the text 'We're Going Places'."]
![[Image: image046m.jpg]](http://img838.imageshack.us/img838/51/image046m.jpg)
No-one was injured and the delivery company paid for upgrades to the house. The downside? I wound up failing aforementioned art class since they were experimenting with "standards" for grades and I had an assignment on my computer I couldn't reach for the last few weeks of the semester. Oh, and it did plow right through the gas line, but fortunately covered it at the same time without creating sparks. So, I guess that whole "it could have been worse" thing definitely applies since it could have blown up the entire neighborhood. I was also told that if it didn't hit that support beam, that it wouldn't have stopped and demolished the entire place.
Lesson learned kiddies, make sure to turn your tires the way they taught you at driving school for hills or pomegranate like this happens.
P.S. Not providing original picture since I don't want it to be used in a web macro.
A blessing in disguise, or not. - Erebus - 2011-01-09
Eosian Wrote:You're still alive? Your family wasn't killed? You still have a job and the local churches/shelter are giving you a place to stay to help you get back on your feet?
Are we referring to the situation itself or possible things we may be left with as the result post-event?
and TBH i could have made that a much darker situation: old retiree living with wife who bore 1 child currently living with them, but due to the fact the child is bastard they we're excommunicated from the church... etc... etc...
A blessing in disguise, or not. - Eos - 2011-01-09
Gee. Excommunicated. If only there weren't 30,000 other religions to turn to.
A blessing in disguise, or not. - Erebus - 2011-01-09
Eosian Wrote:Gee. Excommunicated. If only there weren't 30,000 other religions to turn to.
He lives 100 miles from the nearest building (house, church, w/e), he doesn't have a cell phone, and his car was recently repossessed.
That better? >.>
A blessing in disguise, or not. - Eos - 2011-01-09
If you have to keep adding to it to try to make it continually worse it obviously hasn't reached the worst possible case yet.
A blessing in disguise, or not. - Erebus - 2011-01-09
Consider the "etc..." bit of the second to last post the fill in the blank to make the worst case scenario
make a thread in the funhouse or forum game section about creating a worst possible case if you want to see one...
The only thing i was trying to state was that depending on the situation, you may or may not be able to look at things from a "glass half full"/optimistic perspective (all be it a highly unlikely situation >.> ).
A blessing in disguise, or not. - Eos - 2011-01-09
And depending on the person you may not be able to look at a perfectly normal and happy life as anything but a wallowing misery. That's how perspective works.