Any good anti-virus/spyware program to recommend?

Fail troll.

I'm serious. A year ago, a good friend told me "As long as you're not a complete retard that doesn't go around clicking on what everybody tells him to click on, you'll be fine". He was right. Now, all I need to ensure my computer's safety is Spybot: S&D along with Malwarebytes AntiMalware, which I only use on a monthly/bimonthly basis. I recommend both of those programs instead of a free virus scanner that isn't even reliable in most serious situations.

All an active virus scanner is good for is eating up RAM.