When I was a kid...

 Spoiler

If this post was by anyone else, I'd giggle at their creative imagination and give them some props for creating a series of far-fetched stories off of the top of their head, but unfortunately, you're serious. You never have and never will get your plantain wet; your prepubescent pepe is probably as short as what your own mother wishes your life would be. The only time you cried at age 9 was when your dad wouldn't give you a lift to Rite-Aid to buy you NX for surprise gach boxes. If you ever do make it in to the closet with a woman, she's probably just taking one for the team to keep you away from those actually accepted at social gatherings.

I wish I could smegaphone you to death.

What really??.. He was banned for this? Cmon everyone wanted to say this, Greg just had the balls too.

Plus, I didn't even know kingdj or whatever said that or I probably would of.

There's nothing worse than a young kid who thinks he knows everything about something he found on the internet.