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The Little Black Box
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2009-09-11, 12:24 AM
Anal analytical guy sez: Starting paragraph could use a bit of revision. Using "the helicopter" twice in two sentences seems a bit uncomely, and I know for sure that the people looking at my drafts would point that out to me. Also, helicopters don't land on uneven, rocky terrain, but instead drop ladders down to drop off/pick up people.
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The Little Black Box - by Doxinator - 2009-09-10, 11:32 PM
The Little Black Box - by Turtally - 2009-09-10, 11:38 PM
The Little Black Box - by Doxinator - 2009-09-10, 11:40 PM
The Little Black Box - by KajitiSouls - 2009-09-11, 12:24 AM
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