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The Little Black Box
#2
First sentence is awkward, maybe you shouldn't say "the air" twice.

The rest was pretty good. I wanna read that rest. Tongue1
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Messages In This Thread
The Little Black Box - by Doxinator - 2009-09-10, 11:32 PM
The Little Black Box - by Turtally - 2009-09-10, 11:38 PM
The Little Black Box - by Doxinator - 2009-09-10, 11:40 PM
The Little Black Box - by KajitiSouls - 2009-09-11, 12:24 AM

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