The Infamous and Ridiculous Adventures of Alex the Ninja Pirate.

> Turn valves randomly until something happens!

Unsurprisingly, the valves, as being a part of the background, won't move a bit. However, this still pisses you off. You need to teach that contraption a lesson.

> Spam Lucky Seven.

Doesn't matter how hard to search, you seem to have run out of STARS. You should check your INVENTORY more often. Where did you use them, anyways?

>punch valves

Screw the valves, they won't move. As any Night Lord would do without stars, you punch the main body instead, trying to avoid any bird of pray references to avoid stereotypes. Seriously, that crap can get old very fast when you overuse it.

> Look around to see what else is in here.

No need to look further. A HAPPY LITTLE FELLOW just appeared in front of you. Great time to realise you don't have STARS, smart guy.