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What would you do?
#1
when a depressed friend talks about wanting to commit suicide on MSN?



earlier in the convo he asked me about university and stuff and he was kinda like he can't make it. Don't wanna show the first part of the convo cause it contains my personal info ...
 chat log
later i managed to change the topic to WOW (which i don't even play but he does) and then I went to the washroom, now when i'm back he isn't responding...but he's still online...
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#2
I would call the police!!! Even if he/she isn't serious! Because you never know if they're actually going to do it..That happened to one of my friends back in high school (R.I.P. Jerry Frown).. I know he's your friend and he'll probably think you're a NOOB if you did, but think of it this way.. would you rather see him ALIVE again? & knowing that you could do something to stop him..
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#3
He changed his MSN statue to busy, which means he's still alive.

He said that he's going to do it in the new year which is yet to come.

The thing is that I'm not sure what to do with him, I don't know where he live (all I know is that he lives in one of the three apartment building near the area)

I don't want to really call the police cause i might get in trouble. and what can the police do to prevent commit suicide?

I don't know I feel like maybe he should just die. It is torture for him to live like this right now. Although I would really miss him.

What does it mean when he say it to one of his friend that he wants to commit suicide?
A few years ago I was very depressed and I really felt like commiting suicide and almost did it, but I never told anyone about it. But he did, so I don't know if he's just joking or what. Cause when i really felt like commiting sucide I didn't tell anyone. So it's possible that he's just joking but he's really really depressed right now. He's probably not going to get accepted into university (mainly because he have all the gay teachers in the school). and if he doesn't get accepted, his parents will kick him out and then he have no where else to live. I'd rather die than living the life like a hobo maybe he think that way too.

Sry i'm kinda turning stupid right now if what i said doesn't make sense, can't think....
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#4
How can you get in trouble for WANTING/TRYING/ATTEMPTING to save someones life? That makes no sense to me. Even if the police didn't have his address they can still track him down, they'll go to your house & want to see the entire conversation through MSN & ask you for his first & last name and go from there...

Horusmaster Wrote:I don't know I feel like maybe he should just die. It is torture for him to live like this right now. Although I would really miss him.




How can you wish death on your friend like that? Yes, ok he may or may not get accepted into the University but it's NOT the end of the world if he doesn't. He can work and then later on reapply to the University or go somewhere else for school..
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#5
Tell someone. Call Police.
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#6
For all of you saying "call the police," just... no.

What the hell would they be able to do? It's not like his friend is on the top of a building threatening to jump. And what would he say? "Oh uh... I have a friend online and he says he wants to commit suicide sometime in the new year but I don't know where he lives or when he wants to commit suicide." Seriously?

To me, it sounds more like a cry for help/attention than anything else. He is in a very stressful situation and feels helpless.

IMO, what he needs is some reassurance that his situation is not that bad. Guess what? People get rejected from universities all the time. Kids get kicked out of their parents' houses every day. And you know what they do? They find a way to deal with it and move forward with their lives.

I mean, let's take a look at the worst-case scenario. Let's say he gets rejected from the university he wanted to go to and gets kicked out of his house. Wouldn't you be a friend and let him stay with you for a while? Doesn't he have other family he could stay with? What's to stop him from taking a year off from school, getting a job, saving up money, and trying again the next year? Or even going to a community college and getting his general education out of the way and transferring later on?

The point is, there are many, many options besides suicide. Horus, I think it's your job as a friend to knock some sense into him. Do you honestly believe that his life would not be worth living just because he got rejected from a university? Life isn't about getting everything you want! Guess what: a lot of things in life will not go how you want. Things will not happen how you expected. I got rejected from all my first choices in colleges, but I turned out fine. Hell, I wouldn't have even met my fiance if I didn't get rejected from all my first choices.

Be a friend, dammit.
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#7
So you know, if you suggest something to him as a joke and he ends up doing it, you're fucked.
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#8
Throws Wrote:To me, it sounds more like a cry for help/attention than anything else. He is in a very stressful situation and feels helpless.

This. Stop giving him the attention he craves and treating him like he's special. Everyone has problems. Tell him to grow some balls and get over it.
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#9
he doesn't seem very depressed by the way i read it.. tell him to stop joking about these things because people suffer with it in real life.
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#10
Throws Wrote:For all of you saying "call the police," just... no.

What the hell would they be able to do? It's not like his friend is on the top of a building threatening to jump. And what would he say? "Oh uh... I have a friend online and he says he wants to commit suicide sometime in the new year but I don't know where he lives or when he wants to commit suicide." Seriously?

To me, it sounds more like a cry for help/attention than anything else. He is in a very stressful situation and feels helpless.

IMO, what he needs is some reassurance that his situation is not that bad. Guess what? People get rejected from universities all the time. Kids get kicked out of their parents' houses every day. And you know what they do? They find a way to deal with it and move forward with their lives.

I mean, let's take a look at the worst-case scenario. Let's say he gets rejected from the university he wanted to go to and gets kicked out of his house. Wouldn't you be a friend and let him stay with you for a while? Doesn't he have other family he could stay with? What's to stop him from taking a year off from school, getting a job, saving up money, and trying again the next year? Or even going to a community college and getting his general education out of the way and transferring later on?

The point is, there are many, many options besides suicide. Horus, I think it's your job as a friend to knock some sense into him. Do you honestly believe that his life would not be worth living just because he got rejected from a university? Life isn't about getting everything you want! Guess what: a lot of things in life will not go how you want. Things will not happen how you expected. I got rejected from all my first choices in colleges, but I turned out fine. Hell, I wouldn't have even met my fiance if I didn't get rejected from all my first choices.

Be a friend, dammit.

Thank you, what you said helped a lot.

The thing is that he doesn't have many friends and I don't think that anyone would want him to be living with them.

Besides me, I think he only talks to 2 other people.
One, lives in the basement with his family in a rented house. I've been to his house, you can't really fit another person in there, and I doubt that his parents would allow it.
Another is a kid who's failing at school badly, but his parents are rich and doesn't care. I don't think they will let some random guy live with them, especially considering that he stinks and only showers once a week.
And i'm probably going to live in a campus in university in another city.

About his situation I should have explained more about the relationship between him and me.
Let's call him Bob.
I met him in gr 10, at that time we all try to stay away from him cause he stinks so much. One day I was talking to my friend during class and got caught by the teacher and the teacher made me sit beside Bob. Bob stinks so much, and for the entire class I was holding my breath. Bob tried to talk to me, and I was being nice and talked. Nearly to the end of the class for some stupid reason I asked "How often do you shower?" without thinking. He felt embarrassed and I kinda regretted it saying it. And then we stopped talking until the end of the class. The next day surprisingly he doesn't stink anymore. He actually showered. Later we just start to have simple conversations like saying "hi" when we see each other. Later, in a group project he's in my group and I asked for his MSN. After that he chats with me on MSN alot although he doesn't say alot when I meet him in RL. Some of the conversations we've had are quite deep, but other times he's just bored and try to talk BS and I had to block him, (I never told him that I blocked him though). There are only 2 other person that I block more than him, 1 in my 12 yr old brother, another is a stupid kid who keeps on asking me for hwk, when I don't even do them. Anyways at lunch Bob doesn't even sit with me cause he doesn't know my other friends.

Basically he's not very social.
but academic wise, he's above average, not as smart as me. but getting above average marks, except English and Chemistry which he's below average.
I don't think he can get a job. Because of his poor communication skills, he'll fail the interview for sure

That's why i was thinking that he's useless.

Anyways I'll just try talking to him about what you said, Throw.
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