Southperry Gaming Awards Revealed!

I'm going to reveal each award in its own post to add drama to the event. I will, of course, be starting with the awards no one cares about first. So, without further ado, I present the first ever Southperry gaming awards, as voted by you.

Let's begin with...

Best Update to a Multiplayer Game

This category got only two nominations and surprisingly, it wasn't WoW or even MapleStory.

Honourable Mention (second place) goes to... Rift, an MMORPG that was released in March 2011. It saw various large updates throughout the year but I have absolutely no idea what any of them did to the game. Here's a video to ignore!

[video=youtube;xpc_Ro_07WE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xpc_Ro_07WE[/video]

 And the Winner Is...

Ultimate Marvel vs. Capcom 3

Not exactly a surprise after seeing that fifty-some page thread about it featuring Phoenix Wright banter. This game managed to get several votes in a category that was largely ignored by voters.

I guess the big update for this WAS Phoenix Wright et al so uh, unless someone has an objection, here's a video (best joke)

[video=youtube;5gvo47ikNXc]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5gvo47ikNXc[/video]

This year was actually pretty good for games, so it comes as no surprise that Most Disappointing was filled with votes for one seriously disappointing game. And a single vote for our...

Honourable mention: Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3.

I'm pretty sure this was a joke vote but at the same time there's an image that sums up feelings of non-fanboys toward this game.



Even some random grandmother thought it was bad. Congratulations on your nomination, MW3.

[video=youtube;dKtYkP8Ydio]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dKtYkP8Ydio[/video]

But there was another game, a game destined to fail. A game that took over a decade to reach shelves. That's right...

 The winner (or loser?) of Most Disappointing game of 2011 is...

Duke Nukem Forever

Duke Nukem had so much hype and skepticism built up around it that it had no chance from the start (well, unless it had been released in it's own time: the 90s.) Duke has become tired with age and he's no longer as shocking as he once was. No, now he's a lot like a sad father trying to be cool in front of his son's friends by saying edgy stuff. "Hey guys, I know some swear words that will blow your mind."

Congratulations Duke. Hopefully you will get the rest you deserve. Instead of posting gameplay footage that will get me infracted, I'll leave you with my favourite Duke Nukem trailer. Please watch, listen, and enjoy.

[video=youtube;6K00DCK1l98]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6K00DCK1l98[/video]

(If you've never seen this, yeah, it's a real trailer presented at a gaming convention.)

I probably should've posted this second but I somehow missed it and I'm not going to squeeze it in now so deal with it.

I was really surprised by the nominations for this category because they were almost all console games with multiplayer additions instead of MMOs like the horribly defunct Final Fantasy XIV which is out and getting better looking as Square-Enix desperately try to make it a success. But nope, we've got games like Battlefield 3 (no surprise), Portal 2 and Dark Souls all nominated. But none of these games left as big an impression as...

Honourable Mention: Street Fighter III: 3rd Strike Online Edition

This game also wins my personal award for "longest and most redundant title of two thousand eleven: 2011 online forum edition"

No, but seriously... I don't really know anything about Street Fighter these days. I used to play it when I was a kid. And I always see M.Bison going YES! Zangief is in Street Fighter right? Congratulations Zangief. You're the white Mr. T of video games.

I've chosen this video as it best represents the members of southperry, rubbing their chests together and staring into one anothers eyes before wrestling.

[video=youtube;JvUpuLyG6TE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JvUpuLyG6TE[/video]

Speaking of manlove

 The winner of Best Online Multiplayer is...

Ultimate Marvel vs. Capcom 3

For a game that completely denied Megaman his chance to shine, it sure seems popular. I have to imagine it's largely thanks to the mid-year addition of Nicholas Cage on a motorcycle. Any game featuring Nicholas Cage is a winner.

Congratulations again, UMvC3. We'll leave you with highlights of Nicholas Cage flipping his pomegranate.

[video=youtube;xP1-oquwoL8]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xP1-oquwoL8[/video]

...sigh. Guess who won this one?

That's right. The Best Fighting Game of 2011 is Ultimate Marvel vs. Capcom 3.

Why? Because this game has Phoenix Wright, Nicholas Cage, and Nemesis. It has a large unstoppable scarfaced fish monster that supposedly only wants to kill STARS but apparently will beat the pomegranate out of Phoenix Wright. Probably because he's a star in the court.

Here, watch Nemesis pummel some stuff.

[video=youtube;crD3lSVLo1s]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=crD3lSVLo1s[/video]

There were actually other votes too and I'm going to reveal our honourable mention in a spoiler because it's NOT UMvC3.

 Honourable Mention

Arcana Heart 3

I had no idea what this was until I started going through the votes and now I wish I didn't. Oh well, at least they're not children. Congratulations, game that seems pretty offensive to women.

[video=youtube;kPJKvn8Q5B8]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kPJKvn8Q5B8[/video]

2011 was an intense year for indie games. It was actually the second most popular category, just below GotY. That's probably largely thanks to the Humble Bundles which made them very affordable for anyone; and specifically here at SP, thanks to Zelkova who generously donated Humble Bundles to our members.

So which two games took the top spots? Well, shockingly, Bastion didn't make the cut. To The Moon was neglected as well. Orcs Must Die! found a comfy spot in third place. And our honourable mention found itself wandering through the cellar, hiding from its mother.

Honourable Mention: The Binding of Isaac

The Binding of Isaac is a genetically imperfect Zelda clone. It's what happens when you try to mess with the basic structure of a system that worked fine in the first place. The result may be interesting, but it will haunt your dreams and have you running from other mutants who've gone through a similar procedure. And it's undeniably one of the years most interesting releases.

[video=youtube;JTIcfjSgXBM]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTIcfjSgXBM[/video]

 But the Best Indie Game winner is...

Terraria

It's really only fitting that Terraria took the win after denying Minecraft entry. People really like to build and kill stuff. That's why Lego remains popular, and why we have pyramids and nuclear weapons.

Here's a video of Terrarians doing what they do best: absolutely nothing.

[video=youtube;UGo7iMUcxLc]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UGo7iMUcxLc[/video]

I'm taking a break right now but I'll be back later. Going to reserve the rest of the posts so hang on before posting please.

2011 was kind of a bad year for RPGs. I had to wait 9 months to get WKCII which is why it was my baby. There weren't a lot of RPGs released on any console but there were some really good ones among them. Radiant Historia deserves an obligatory mention because I am running this pomegranate and it didn't win. The winner is less surprising than the runner-up.

Honourable Mention: Disgaea 4: A Promise Unforgotten

Disgaea 4 is a lot like every other game in the series; it's an SRPG with an off-the-wall sense of humour and ridiculously high numbers. It features angels, demons (vampires, werewolves... desco) and humans all fighting to do... something. I can't say what without spoiling the story. But I can say that there will be sardines. There will be so many sardines.

No other video can do this game justice.

[video=youtube;soH8jG_gfGQ]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=soH8jG_gfGQ[/video]

 The user voted Best RPG of 2011 is...

Skyrim

Since the announcement of Skyrim I've made a lot of jokes about rimming the sky. It's implicit. This is a game about dragons, buckets on heads and collecting dead bodies. Most of you know everything there is to know about Skyrim so instead I'll just show you a creepy pineappleing video. Seriously this guy should be committed.

[video=youtube;JHvx0l_tVEw]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JHvx0l_tVEw[/video]

Congratulations on breeding psychopaths, Skyrim.

As someone who cannot play an FPS without getting motion sick and who hates FPS players because they're 98% douche, I am the most qualified to be presenting this award. There really were only two options for this award, and we all know it: Halo vs. Doom. So which won? Doom, because Halo fanboys are the worst. Actually one other game and an expansion pack masquerading as a game came out this year too, I guess.

Honourable Mention: Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3

This game wasn't even close to winning. Like, it lost by half the votes of the winner. But still scored higher than four other nominees. This is a game that features good guys killing bad guys and multiplayer where you kill each other with guns. It's a part of a franchise that has had a lot of non-americans die in battle. So there you go.

The video I'm going to post is a spoiler but it's really the only thing worth posting so view at your own risk.

[video=youtube;7GOxHBNMp6s]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7GOxHBNMp6s[/video]

 The Best FPS of 2011 is...

Battlefield 3

I actually know less about Battlefield 3 than I do about Modern Warfare 3. I'm not sure how that's possible considering how the two games were constantly and prominently being pitted against each other. I can't say anything interesting about this game so instead I'll leave you guys with some wisdom...

Which video games you like doesn't matter. You can like two different First Person Shooter games at the same time, and no matter what anyone tells you, it's okay. The only competition between these games should be for sales. Stop all of the hate, fanboys, and let people enjoy what they will. Battlefield 3 is a winner but all of its players are the real losers for their behaviour this year. Congratulations.

[video=youtube;xjaLWfNbfDs]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xjaLWfNbfDs[/video]

I'm kind of surprised not to have seen more votes for Catherine here but I feel like it was slightly confused with best indie game. This category as a whole didn't receive many votes. There was actually no clear winner but instead a tie. So I will list them alphabetically.

 Tied for Best of Other Genre #1

Corpse Party

From what I can tell of the videos I looked up, this is an RPG Maker game being sold as a PSP game. I supposed it's supposed to be a horror game but it's kind of hard to be scared of 1cm tall characters on a map where you can see inside every room around you from above. It also looks like an eroge which is probably appealing to you all.

Here's a trailer that makes absolutely no sense

[video=youtube;JpnArvfuxIk]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JpnArvfuxIk[/video]

 Tied for Best of Other Genre #2

RefRain

I honestly did research and asked around about this and could find literally nothing about it. I found something called Prism Memories but based on the content of the nomination, I can't really confirm that this is it.

Award for most obscure nomination of 2011 goes to...

here's a video of the game I found. Don't know if this is actually it.

[video=youtube;gWdeCLKd-qs]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWdeCLKd-qs[/video]

This category is kind of pointless because the Wii really only had one major release this year, so it's pretty obvious who won. But in order to stick with the format I will pretend like it is a big surprise.

Honourable Mention: Kirby's Return to Dreamland

As the name might suggest, Kirby has returned to Dreamland and this installation to the long running Kirby franchise has that lovable ball of pink doing what he does best: floating above every enemy until you beat a level. Kirby can also eat things and absorb their powers but that's really secondary to his floating which is practically unstoppable. It's hard to dislike Kirby in spite of mediocre reviews. See for yourself.

[video=youtube;8lyJZ3y1IZ0]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8lyJZ3y1IZ0[/video]

 But the Best Wii Game of the Year is, of course...

Zelda: Skyward Sword

Link returned for his most repetitive adventure yet, as he flies through the unsurprisingly bland sky at an extremely slow speed on a bird that they make seem really important for no reason. The best part of Zelda: Skyward Sword was the fact that after playing it I could pick up a couch with my right arm from all of the use it got.

I'm just kidding, Skyward Sword may have been one of the best Zelda games to date and was definitely one of the best games this year. And here is the best part (no real spoilers)

[video=youtube;xV89lBuSbO4]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xV89lBuSbO4[/video]

This is the only award that really matters, and the winner is the shock of the century, so I'll just get to it.

Honourable Mention: Uncharted 3: Drake's Deception

Yeah, it wasn't Uncharted 3 that won. That alone is pretty surprising, isn't it? This was supposed to be the gaming and cinematic experience of the year. People were outraged by scores less than ten and reacted in the same way as ShiKage did when GameSpot reviewed Skyward Sword with a 7.5. Arms flailed and fingers pounded angry words on keyboards. I haven't actually playing any Uncharted game so I can't say I have an opinion either way but fanboys are seriously the worst.

Instead of showing you an actual Uncharted video I will show you a joke video about the reviews because it's better than any trailer. Unfortunately I can't embed this so you'll... have to open it in a new tab. Sorry!!

http://mega64.com/2011/11/12/think-twice...premieres/

 More shocking than any bad review is the winner of Best PS3 Game 2011...

Disgaea 4: A Promise Unforgotten

I never thought I'd see the day where a Disgaea game wins an award. Now it has won two and even beat out Uncharted 3 in the process. What is the world coming to? I already posted about Disgaea 4 once and I don't really have anymore jokes nor can I think of any more funny scenes from this one, unfortunately.

So instead I'll take this change to advertise Disgaea 3: Absence of Detention coming out on the PS Vita at or around launch.

[video=youtube;5VJbS4-tE6s]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5VJbS4-tE6s[/video]

The XBOX 360 only managed to get a few nominations this year which was really surprising to me since I've always felt it had the strongest fanbase here at Southperry. Nonetheless, two games stood prominently above all others and one of them is insanely obviously while the other is not at all what I expected.

 Tied for XBOX 360 Game #1

Gears of War 3

I haven't heard anything about Gears of War 3 since a few days before it was released, which I'm suspecting is probably a bad sign. Actually, that's not true, there are still some grumblings about women finally being included in the franchise. Nonetheless, the fate of the world once again laid on the ridiculously broad shoulders of Marcus Idontknowhislastname and I have to imagine he won. At least until Gears of War 4.

As you can probably tell I don't know anything about Gears of War except little snippets of things I've read online. Hell, I'm still not even sure if it's a first or third person shooter. All I know is that it features a really large man and some equally large bugs. Luckily, I don't need to know anything about it to present an award and write a half-hearted piece about it.

Congratulations, GoW3. Here's a black guy playing with toys and talking loud.

[video=youtube;spwMpTBnW7g]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=spwMpTBnW7g[/video]

 Tied for XBOX 360 Game #2

Forza Motorsport 4

See!? Who honestly expected this? No one. You know why? Because racing games are not THAT good. They're fun to kill some time with but they have no depth or intrigue and once you've spent 3 seconds holding the gas you pretty much have experienced all that a racing game has to offer. I can't imagine what might make this game different or what possessed people to nominate it. I would actually like answers so if you're reading this and have some, respond to me in the thread.

By now I'm obligated to post some sort of video so here's a trailer.

[video=youtube;v6CUm-A1SZg]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v6CUm-A1SZg[/video]

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