Do you think people really value your own friendship?

So, I just received a phone call with a friend whom I didn't trust anymore. He told every person I knew one of my secrets, called me things like douchebag and plantain and papaya, so of course I didn't care at all for him. I ignored his first call, but he just kept calling. I answered and I found that he was bawling his eyes out. Instantly, I thought he broke up with ANOTHER girl. Little did I know, this was about me.

He told me he wants to be my friend and that he knows I hate him (I really did). Without getting a word out, he kept saying how he wished he never spread around my secret and made me go through the hell I did. He wanted me to admit that I hated him, so I did. All pomegranate ran loose as he went batpomegranate crazy. Still, here I am not caring.

He says he wishes he was able to go back in time and stop himself from hurting the one true friend he has ever had. "You know what? I'm jealous of your friends. Every single one of them are pineappleing lucky to have you as a friend. I WISH I had to privilege to have you as a friend again. Please forgive me because I can't take your hate anymore!"

It's breaking my heart that I just can't be there to give him a man hug or something just knowing that I'm over the situation and it's okay. I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't know whether I should forgive him or say F it.

So, I'm just wondering, is anyone in my situation or can give me an idea on what I should do? It's 10pm and I can't leave the house. I really want to just go to his house, sit down with him and just hug him saying that his life isn't a piece of pomegranate without me as a friend.

Screw you once, shame on him.
Screw you twice, shame on you.

He showed a complete lack of trust for you by sharing one of your secrets you didn't want to get out. He's obviously shown that he does not value you as a friend, regardless of his emotional tug. There are certain things you forgive in a friendship, I understand, but forgiving and then becoming his friend again probably isn't such a good idea. Forgive, but do not forget what he did to you in the past.

You can choose to not be a friend and not hate him. There is a middle road here. I encourage you to take it.

I agree with Paul here. He screwed you over once, there's nothing actually stopping him from doing it again. Although, if you'd feel absolutely terrible turning your back on him, then be his friend but don't let him close like he must have been.

Yeah, if anything, I'd say it's fine to forgive him if he seems like he truly does regret what he did, but if this really was as large a stab in the back as you make it seem, I think it's best you just keep your distance from him and tell him flat-out you don't want anything to do with him. Probably better for both of your sakes.

I agree with Paul here. He screwed you over once, there's nothing actually stopping him from doing it again. Although, if you'd feel absolutely terrible turning your back on him, then be his friend but don't let him close like he must have been.

This. I actually did this with him and things weren't the same according to him. I just started watching what I said and keeping things to myself when I was around him.

Still the same attitude around others, but he started being more open with me. now that I think about it, everything we've said from then on out never got out to anyone we didn't already mention it to. The secret, I admit, was something big back then, but now as I'm older, it's still kinda there, but it's nothing big because it's more common now than it was then.

I'm testing him now. I said I'd "forgive him" and told him something he thinks is a secret but isn't really that big of a deal. If I hear any word of it from anyone else, then I have my answer.

I'm a forgiving person and I forgave someone who proved time and time again to be a douche, after a few years of not seeing this person I met him again at a house party, I thought he'd grown up and was a better person so I forgave him again, next time I saw him he proved that he was the same ol douche, I always give a second and 4th chance, but yeah i'm sorta an idiot on that part I'd say do the math in your head as to weather the potential damage this person could do to you again is worth befriending them again.

I'm a forgiving person and I forgave someone who proved time and time again to be a douche, after a few years of not seeing this person I met him again at a house party, I thought he'd grown up and was a better person so I forgave him again, next time I saw him he proved that he was the same ol douche, I always give a second and 4th chance, but yeah i'm sorta an idiot on that part I'd say do the math in your head as to weather the potential damage this person could do to you again is worth befriending them again.

See, I'm almost the same way. If I flat out say that I do not believe in 2nd chances, then that'd go against everything I've done before. I've asked for forgiveness to way to many people and some accepted it while others didn't. I think I now know why others never forgave me. The "Screw me once/twice" saying holds truth to it.

Even if I wasn't friends with someone anymore, I would not reveal a secret they confided with me. No matter how bad it became.

How bad was the secret of yours for the public to know and for you to "go through hell?"

Even if I wasn't friends with someone anymore, I would not reveal a secret they confided with me. No matter how bad it became.

How bad was the secret of yours for the public to know and for you to "go through hell?"

Let's just say for me to go into detail would turn this into a locked thread with infraction points =X

i'd rather not have said it at all but key words: papaya, internet, and "free time"

I oftenwonder how others think of me, but then i figure, people can think all the hell they want, as long as I'm not a douchebag, idiot who hates the world. What i've found is being a forgiving, generally nice person is a good way to move through life.

If there's one thing that i won't forgive, it is the break of trust. You break my trust, i can't ever trust you with anything again and i'll be suspicious of anything and everything you do with me/to me from that point onwards.

Your situation is: do you trust the guy enough? or would you rather not let him back in to your mindset?
You could also lie and then proceed to ignore him and his antics.

No.

Personally I wouldn't forgive him and just avoid him, but that just be me since I've had a lot of "friends" who were complete pimentos and didn't respect me or take me seriously at all--I remember one "friend" who did something to me (can't remember exactly what it was now, but it was really out of line and pissed me off) and I didn't talk to him for a few days, and when I finally did he just said smugly, "Done being emo, Ross?" And then another "friend" of mine who's always an ass to me and seeks to ruin any sort of self-confidence I have and is amazed that I'd ever get mad at her.

So yeah, long story short, if one of your "friends" screws you over horribly, just drop them. I've never found it worth it to forgive someone like that and try to be friends again because they just think "Oh, it's okay, whatever I do they'll just forgive me" and keep acting like douchebags.

I'm a second change kinda guy, so I would've given him the second chance =/.

Of course if he blows it up again ditch him and never look look back.

Nah. No one values my "Friendship". Everyone just uses me like the local techie, and never talks to me otherwise. ._. doesnt matter where I am, Home/College/"Friends" House. Its all the same.

I'm not this kind of "second chance guy" if you ask me. I don't really trust that people would change with a chat or something. I don't pineapple up with my few trustworth friends, who doesn't surpass 10 or 11 people overall, if one of them just do something like your friend did, i'd pay with the same thing.
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I just believe in this, if someone has done that once, it's not because he's in a bad situation and needs you, that he'll change completely. If someone is a good friend of mine, it wouldn't do that once, at all. I believe on the few real friends i got, other than people i just talk and talk, but don't have my complete trust and that i can't talk about anything with them.
I have a very few true friends, and i find it better than having a thousand ones, but when you're pineappleed up, they'll just go away, making you see you had absolutely no true friends you could count at all.
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Regarding the fact of forgiving and not looking back, i wouldn't do that. Because if you forgive now, you'll just forget what he has done, and if he does again, he'll just think you would forgive again. And even if he asks you to forget the past, in the first discussion, he'd refer to past situations to explain or try to avoid things.
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If it was me, well, he has done that once, even being in a bad situation, he won't change completely, even with these arguments that wish that could go back in time to repair that.
What has been done can't be repaired. Friendship is like a crystal, when it cracks or is damaged, even if it doesn't break apart, it can never be repaired.
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Only the time can decide such things. But really, i wouldn't forgive him immediately. You've lost your trust on him, why to forgive and have a friend that you don't know if he'll do that again?