2010-07-07, 01:06 PM
can someone give me a hand with this please; im in need of some sorta catalyst to get this thing moving?
its a short story i decided to start working on, but when i started it i wasn't sure where exactly i'd go with it. the setting of the city and the mall are central to the plot, and the old man plays a pivotal role in the beginning is all i had planned out. ive been stuck at where the last paragraph ends, and can't seem to get it going again. anyone got any ideas?
thank you if you can help me out of this rut.
its a short story i decided to start working on, but when i started it i wasn't sure where exactly i'd go with it. the setting of the city and the mall are central to the plot, and the old man plays a pivotal role in the beginning is all i had planned out. ive been stuck at where the last paragraph ends, and can't seem to get it going again. anyone got any ideas?
work in question
[FONT="] How much would you pay to have your fortunes told? There are many a vendor that you can find out and about, set up behind a stand, with a set of Tarot cards at their side, waiting for the next passerby curious about their fate to step their way. They will have their palms read, their futures divined, and pay the seer their fee and go about their merry way unawares that they were just conned by a cold reading. The fortune teller will sit back, joke at how easy it is to fool people out of their money with promises of a bright future with the love of their life and everything they could ever want, making sure to note of some ominous and terrible tragedy that will befall the person years ahead of time.[/FONT]
[FONT="] What Mark did not realize, however, was that today his future was in fact not going to be foretold, but altered. He started his day as he always did: he woke up at 7:00 a.m., had his morning coffee and a bagel, and then drove to his job, arriving at 8:45, fifteen minutes early. He lived a clockwork life, every aspect and every detail laid down in an easy-to-follow mold. He worked as an accountant for a very successful law firm situated in a comfortable part of the city. He was married to a loving wife, and had two intelligent children by her. On his weekends off he would go down to the countryside and stay at his lakeside home, enjoying the view and the retreat it offered him from the city lifestyle.[/FONT]
[FONT="] Some times he would wander about the city on his days off, walking along the sidewalk to get a better appreciation of the buildings around him. Cars drove past, and people walking their dogs walked by. He would go to the park and sit down on a bench, looking over his books, eating a lunch bought at the corner deli, and listen as children and their parents played in the playground. If there was a musician playing, hed make sure he put some of his pocket change into their cup, or instrument case, and thank them for their entertainment.[/FONT]
[FONT="] Everything in his life was good to him. He had survived the fallout of war as a child, and grown up to become a successful and happy adult. He had everything he could ever have asked for, and more. He was always seen with a smile on his face to greet anyone he met, with teeth that shone brilliant white.[/FONT]
[FONT="] It was Saturday, and Mark was driving to the mall. Rain was falling down, splashing onto the windshield of his car and being lashed away by the wiper blades. On the radio the DJ was talking about how fighting still broke out every now and again on the west coast, the war still going strong and steady, and screaming that the people didnt care about the fighting anymore. Mark enjoyed listening to people argue over such things as war and money, it gave him something to distract himself with when he wasnt working.[/FONT]
[FONT="] After arriving at the mall, he found the closest available parking space and parked the car. He got out his umbrella and began to run to the door. As he approached the door, he noticed a man sitting on a milk crate just outside of the marquee. He was wearing a tattered long coat, and had a small beard with stubble around his sideburns and underneath his nose. His left eye was covered by long strands of greasy hair, and he had a smell of old garbage about him. There was a small sign propped up against his feet, 25 CENT FORTUNES. He looked over and caught Marks eye.[/FONT]
[FONT="] Read your fortune sir? Only a quarter and I guarantee accuracy. He held out his right hand at him. I promise you wont be swindled. He smiled, exposing his faded teeth.[/FONT]
[FONT="] Sorry, not now. Maybe when Im done taking care of my errands, Mark said as he reached for the handle of his umbrella to collapse it. He reached for the door, and the man sprang up and grabbed his wrist.[/FONT]
[FONT="] Please, Im hungry, and its only a quarter! He had a pained expression on his face, rain water still trickling down his long sandy hair and beard. Mark grabbed the mans arm, and pulled the beggars hand off of him. The man staggered a bit, stared at him, then lowered his head and returned to his crate. As he opened the door, the man looked up at Mark. Youre going to be jobless in a week; Ill at least give you that warning for free.
Mark stopped, looked back at the man, who was staring down at his feet, then brushed the thought aside and walked into the mall.[/FONT]
[FONT="] There were a few hundred people buzzing about the mall, walking in and out of the many different stores in the mall. Mark walked over the elevator and pressed the button inside, taking him up to the second floor. He saw a group of teenagers laughing and hanging out by a photo booth. There was a woman coming out of a lingerie store carrying an armful of bags, her boyfriend beside her.[/FONT]
[FONT="]As he walked he could smell the food being prepared up on the top level in the food court. Smelling the various foods and snacks made him feel a bit queasy, his nose flooded with all the different scents. The mall was loud with chatter and laughter, people enjoying their Saturday.[/FONT]
[FONT="]He walked into a clothing store and looked around for some new clothes. After trying on several pairs of pants, he chose two he liked that fit him best, as well as a new hat to buy. After that, he walked up the stairs to the third level and got some lunch at the food court. After he was done, he walked down and left from a door different than the one he came in at.[/FONT]
[FONT="]The next day, Mark and his family woke up around seven and ate breakfast together. His two sons would happily tell them about their week and how their school was, and he and his wife would sit and smile as their kids would laugh and joke with each other. After breakfast, he and Venessa took the boys to the park outside of town.[/FONT]
[FONT="]While there, they rented a small paddle boat and took it for a ride in a small manmade lake, and watched as ducks would land on the surface of the water and fish would pop up to the surface. They spent an hour out on the tiny plastic boat, then returned to the dock and sat underneath a nearby tree to eat lunch. Mark and Venessa watched as the two boys ran over to the playground and wrestled on the jungle gym. They sat underneath the tree watching their children play, laying on one another[/FONT]...
[FONT="] What Mark did not realize, however, was that today his future was in fact not going to be foretold, but altered. He started his day as he always did: he woke up at 7:00 a.m., had his morning coffee and a bagel, and then drove to his job, arriving at 8:45, fifteen minutes early. He lived a clockwork life, every aspect and every detail laid down in an easy-to-follow mold. He worked as an accountant for a very successful law firm situated in a comfortable part of the city. He was married to a loving wife, and had two intelligent children by her. On his weekends off he would go down to the countryside and stay at his lakeside home, enjoying the view and the retreat it offered him from the city lifestyle.[/FONT]
[FONT="] Some times he would wander about the city on his days off, walking along the sidewalk to get a better appreciation of the buildings around him. Cars drove past, and people walking their dogs walked by. He would go to the park and sit down on a bench, looking over his books, eating a lunch bought at the corner deli, and listen as children and their parents played in the playground. If there was a musician playing, hed make sure he put some of his pocket change into their cup, or instrument case, and thank them for their entertainment.[/FONT]
[FONT="] Everything in his life was good to him. He had survived the fallout of war as a child, and grown up to become a successful and happy adult. He had everything he could ever have asked for, and more. He was always seen with a smile on his face to greet anyone he met, with teeth that shone brilliant white.[/FONT]
[FONT="] It was Saturday, and Mark was driving to the mall. Rain was falling down, splashing onto the windshield of his car and being lashed away by the wiper blades. On the radio the DJ was talking about how fighting still broke out every now and again on the west coast, the war still going strong and steady, and screaming that the people didnt care about the fighting anymore. Mark enjoyed listening to people argue over such things as war and money, it gave him something to distract himself with when he wasnt working.[/FONT]
[FONT="] After arriving at the mall, he found the closest available parking space and parked the car. He got out his umbrella and began to run to the door. As he approached the door, he noticed a man sitting on a milk crate just outside of the marquee. He was wearing a tattered long coat, and had a small beard with stubble around his sideburns and underneath his nose. His left eye was covered by long strands of greasy hair, and he had a smell of old garbage about him. There was a small sign propped up against his feet, 25 CENT FORTUNES. He looked over and caught Marks eye.[/FONT]
[FONT="] Read your fortune sir? Only a quarter and I guarantee accuracy. He held out his right hand at him. I promise you wont be swindled. He smiled, exposing his faded teeth.[/FONT]
[FONT="] Sorry, not now. Maybe when Im done taking care of my errands, Mark said as he reached for the handle of his umbrella to collapse it. He reached for the door, and the man sprang up and grabbed his wrist.[/FONT]
[FONT="] Please, Im hungry, and its only a quarter! He had a pained expression on his face, rain water still trickling down his long sandy hair and beard. Mark grabbed the mans arm, and pulled the beggars hand off of him. The man staggered a bit, stared at him, then lowered his head and returned to his crate. As he opened the door, the man looked up at Mark. Youre going to be jobless in a week; Ill at least give you that warning for free.
Mark stopped, looked back at the man, who was staring down at his feet, then brushed the thought aside and walked into the mall.[/FONT]
[FONT="] There were a few hundred people buzzing about the mall, walking in and out of the many different stores in the mall. Mark walked over the elevator and pressed the button inside, taking him up to the second floor. He saw a group of teenagers laughing and hanging out by a photo booth. There was a woman coming out of a lingerie store carrying an armful of bags, her boyfriend beside her.[/FONT]
[FONT="]As he walked he could smell the food being prepared up on the top level in the food court. Smelling the various foods and snacks made him feel a bit queasy, his nose flooded with all the different scents. The mall was loud with chatter and laughter, people enjoying their Saturday.[/FONT]
[FONT="]He walked into a clothing store and looked around for some new clothes. After trying on several pairs of pants, he chose two he liked that fit him best, as well as a new hat to buy. After that, he walked up the stairs to the third level and got some lunch at the food court. After he was done, he walked down and left from a door different than the one he came in at.[/FONT]
[FONT="]The next day, Mark and his family woke up around seven and ate breakfast together. His two sons would happily tell them about their week and how their school was, and he and his wife would sit and smile as their kids would laugh and joke with each other. After breakfast, he and Venessa took the boys to the park outside of town.[/FONT]
[FONT="]While there, they rented a small paddle boat and took it for a ride in a small manmade lake, and watched as ducks would land on the surface of the water and fish would pop up to the surface. They spent an hour out on the tiny plastic boat, then returned to the dock and sat underneath a nearby tree to eat lunch. Mark and Venessa watched as the two boys ran over to the playground and wrestled on the jungle gym. They sat underneath the tree watching their children play, laying on one another[/FONT]...
thank you if you can help me out of this rut.
