2010-06-17, 06:34 PM
Don't know if this is the good place to post this, but I just wanted to share this.
So today is June 17th. The birthday of my father, and since 1954 the first one he's not around for to celebrate.
Late 2008 I moved to go live with my aunt and uncle where I am now, since I was at home a lot and I had nothing going for me (no school, close to no friends, etc.). Partly because of this, 3 years of constantly being around eachother and also because of my father's nature and my immaturity, our relationship worsend. It never really got to physical contact, but the arguments would get very heated.
In the period late 2008 till mid 2010 I only came to visit once every 1 to 2 months, and only for 5 days at a time at max. At the same time my parents started working on their mariage again and due to new insights and some really effective counceling they started doing a lot better. The relationship with my father also got a lot better and I was no longer embarrassed by his slightly too long manhugs, or reluctant to talk to him about something. This just made the overall atmosphere in the house and family a lot better and things were really looking up.
When I got home on the 30th of May, 2010, my aunt informed me that my mom had called and that my dad was in the hospital. Apperently he had fallen and was speaking a little incoherently, so they decided to tow him out the window on a gurdy (sp?) with a firetruck. I called her and they explained what happened, and said they had to go to the hospital to check, since he was transferred to a different hospital since they believed he had a blocked artery (basic procedure).
My mom called when she got to the hospital and she just said 'he didn't make it'. We sat there for about 15 minutes both crying on the phone apperently, since it was 15 minutes later when she hung up to go see him.
I recorded a short vid on youtube right before I left back for home, since I just had the urge to do so at the time.
Back home everything happened in a blur.. The evening of my arrival I went to see him laying in the hospital. Finally at peace, he was always so busy and would get worked up over the smallest things. Immediately I was happy he wouldn't have to worry about all those small things again.
The very next day the udnertaker came and decisions had to be made. For that week you just feel like your life is being lived for you; everyday a few things have to be done, apart from that you eat and sleap and that's that. Luckily my mom's only sister and her husband postponed their holliday and immediately drove 4 hours to come look after us that whole week.
Friday there was a ceremony. Me and my sister read texts, as well as my mom, her brother/sister and my dad's only brother. I say only because the family originally had three, and this was the second one they lost. Everyone as really touched and we were all happy that we could do credit to his honor and send him off properly.
The saturday after I came back, with an actual good feeling. It's pretty confusing, to say the least. His death brought our families closer together and made me realise my love for my dad was a lot deeper rooted and more vast than I could have ever imagined. It's an eternity of shame that his death was required to make everyone realise all the good things he was also doing, and ofcourse the timing was as unfortunate as could have been, since his marriage and being a father was finally on a better track.
Well that's all I wanted to share. If anyone wants to see the video, my Forum name is also my Channel name.
Thanks for reading part or all of it,
have a good one and make sure you give your parents a great big hug!
Douwe
So today is June 17th. The birthday of my father, and since 1954 the first one he's not around for to celebrate.
Late 2008 I moved to go live with my aunt and uncle where I am now, since I was at home a lot and I had nothing going for me (no school, close to no friends, etc.). Partly because of this, 3 years of constantly being around eachother and also because of my father's nature and my immaturity, our relationship worsend. It never really got to physical contact, but the arguments would get very heated.
In the period late 2008 till mid 2010 I only came to visit once every 1 to 2 months, and only for 5 days at a time at max. At the same time my parents started working on their mariage again and due to new insights and some really effective counceling they started doing a lot better. The relationship with my father also got a lot better and I was no longer embarrassed by his slightly too long manhugs, or reluctant to talk to him about something. This just made the overall atmosphere in the house and family a lot better and things were really looking up.
When I got home on the 30th of May, 2010, my aunt informed me that my mom had called and that my dad was in the hospital. Apperently he had fallen and was speaking a little incoherently, so they decided to tow him out the window on a gurdy (sp?) with a firetruck. I called her and they explained what happened, and said they had to go to the hospital to check, since he was transferred to a different hospital since they believed he had a blocked artery (basic procedure).
My mom called when she got to the hospital and she just said 'he didn't make it'. We sat there for about 15 minutes both crying on the phone apperently, since it was 15 minutes later when she hung up to go see him.
I recorded a short vid on youtube right before I left back for home, since I just had the urge to do so at the time.
Back home everything happened in a blur.. The evening of my arrival I went to see him laying in the hospital. Finally at peace, he was always so busy and would get worked up over the smallest things. Immediately I was happy he wouldn't have to worry about all those small things again.
The very next day the udnertaker came and decisions had to be made. For that week you just feel like your life is being lived for you; everyday a few things have to be done, apart from that you eat and sleap and that's that. Luckily my mom's only sister and her husband postponed their holliday and immediately drove 4 hours to come look after us that whole week.
Friday there was a ceremony. Me and my sister read texts, as well as my mom, her brother/sister and my dad's only brother. I say only because the family originally had three, and this was the second one they lost. Everyone as really touched and we were all happy that we could do credit to his honor and send him off properly.
The saturday after I came back, with an actual good feeling. It's pretty confusing, to say the least. His death brought our families closer together and made me realise my love for my dad was a lot deeper rooted and more vast than I could have ever imagined. It's an eternity of shame that his death was required to make everyone realise all the good things he was also doing, and ofcourse the timing was as unfortunate as could have been, since his marriage and being a father was finally on a better track.
Well that's all I wanted to share. If anyone wants to see the video, my Forum name is also my Channel name.
Thanks for reading part or all of it,
have a good one and make sure you give your parents a great big hug!
Douwe