Chivalry: Dead or Alive?

What do my fellow Southperricans think about chivalry? Do you believe it to be dead, or alive and well?

I believe it to be alive and stronger than ever, you just don't hear about it, as you are influenced more by the media.

You don't see stories like "Young Man Helps Old Woman Across Busy Street", but rather you would see a story like "Old Woman Struck Dead on Busy Street after Young Man Refuses to Help Her".

Sure, I may be exaggerating a little bit, but you don't see stories about chivalrous men, you pretty much always see the opposite in the popular media of today.

Also, for those few female Southperricans, I have a question for you. If you are on a date, and your date holds the door open for you, or runs around to the side of the car you are on and opens the door for you, what do you think? "I'm perfectly capable of doing it myself!" or "Oh, how sweet of him!" When does "chivalry" go too far with things like that?

Kthx. Kinda writing a paper for English, I wanna see where this goes.

I've learned a lot about chivalry from from G's to Gents.

Dead... women killed it

Everyday I hold a door open for males and females alike, and everyday males and females hold doors open for me.

My parents expect me to run around the car to open the door for my sister, so I'm a well mannered guy. I don't expect that much from society, but I'll feel highly insulted if I acted chivalrous towards someone and they reacted negatively.

Well, chivalry should die if men and women are to be "equal" but feminists don't want that to happen. I personally think I do my best to always be chivalrous, and I think I see most people around me do their best to be chivalrous, as well.

Everyday I hold a door open for males and females alike, and everyday males and females hold doors open for me.

That sums it up for me. As my grandfather was the male role model of my childhood, I've grown up to be quite cordial and polite, much like people of older days.

I try my best to be chivalrous. Chivalry isn't too common around here in my age group. Plenty of people do act as such but most just sorta wait there for others to act like that instead. I try not to expect anything. However I do see people older than me acting chivalrous all the time.

Depends on where you are, it's definatly more in the south than the northeast
But ya, I try to be chivalrous, sets you apart ;P

Chivalry is both dead and alive. many times have i had this discussion in my high school when i attended there years ago.

feminists can be the ones that can be labeled to be responsible for its death, however, IMO. they expect to get equal treatment when it comes to pay and social respect, but in turn expect all of the little things to still be done for them, like pulling out their chairs for them at dinners, holding open doors for them, stuff like that. though conversely there are feminists/really uptight ignorant people (women included) that will take offense to those acts, seeing it as an attempt to consider them lower than you and inferior, incapable of performing simple tasks for themselves.

i myself have seen and been a part/victim of both ends of that spectrum, so i would myself classify it as being dead. its a good and noble concept, but in the roots of it it doesnt fully mesh with modern society and the demands people make. most are out for instant and immediate gratification, so having to act chivalrous for the benefit of others at the expense of just a few moments of your/their own time is seen as such a big ordeal. "OMG, i hate holding doors open for others, then it makes me have to be behind them, and theyre sloooooooooooow!" stuff like that.

then theres instances where people are chivalrous for the wrong reasons. like, a guy helps a woman whom has fallen over, breaking her heel on her stilettos/pumps, and offers to take her out to coffee amidst small talk with her. he uses chivalry as a method to try and score with the opposite sex, or same if the case may apply. in those cases, can it really be considered chivalry?

all in all it is a beast in a catatonic state, both here and not. there are people out there that appreciate doing those things and having them done for them, those that take offense/insult to them, and others that would manipulate it for their own personal gain.

That sums it up for me. As my grandfather was the male role model of my childhood, I've grown up to be quite cordial and polite, much like people of older days.

Unexpected bro fist. I took from both my grandfather and great grandfather and added in some stuff on my own.

And out of all my years I have yet to come across someone that had a problem with me being chivalrous.

Well, chivalry should die if men and women are to be "equal" but feminists don't want that to happen. I personally think I do my best to always be chivalrous, and I think I see most people around me do their best to be chivalrous, as well.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=coi1Sc5ss...re=related
You mean this? :f6:

LOL @ "It's not just folks who are just friendly....This is the specific belief that it is socially necessary to open doors for women." How do you determine that >_>

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=coi1Sc5ss...re=related
You mean this? :f6:

LOL @ "It's not just folks who are just friendly....This is the specific belief that it is socially necessary to open doors for women." How do you determine that >_>

because we as people are driven by the approval of our peers, and that if we do kind favors unto them they would in turn be expected to reciprocate to both further their own social status, but also that of your own?

ever notice how, though, most rich and powerful executives are asses, and total pricks, yet people always kiss up to and brown nose them? same concept. though, those exec's oft times, not always mind you, but more times than not are seen in a negative light?

people want to get ahead in life, and some see being kind and generous as being weak. so, they look out for #1 and damned be anyone that interferes with them. such is society, that we as a species crave the attention and approval of others for the betterment of ourselves.

OP: you should not judge the tendencies of human behavior by media stories. "Old Woman Helped Across the Street" doesn't sell newspapers; "Old Woman Brutally Murdered" DOES.

This question is the very old discussion about whether humanity is full of assholes or nice people. The truth is, both groups have survived and reproduced quite handily since the dawn of time. Both groups have something to recommend them in survival -- while assholes make great corporates, politicians, lawyers, etc., (thus being generally more prominent in history than nice people,) the nice people nevertheless generally have more stable and developed relationships and families. The nice people are "invisible" but they are very happy.

Chivalry is for old-fashioned nice people. It is something you can base your personality around, and it is something that makes the people around you feel nice and regard you better. There ARE nice people who do not agree with chivalry; these are mostly more "progressive" people such as hippies. Assholes either regard chivalry as useless or use a veneer of it in their endless schemes to destroy and use people. However, in its actual use it's quite handy and always will be. There will always be nice conservative people, they want chivalry around, and it's not going anywhere.

LOL @ "It's not just folks who are just friendly....This is the specific belief that it is socially necessary to open doors for women." How do you determine that >_>

I open doors for both men and women just because I am nice, no other reason than that.

because we as people are driven by the approval of our peers, and that if we do kind favors unto them they would in turn be expected to reciprocate to both further their own social status, but also that of your own?

That's hardly the reason I open doors for people, I could care less what people think of me.

I open doors for both men and women just because I am nice, no other reason than that.

I feel the same way too. I don't think opening a door for them is the way to go to get approval. I doubt they will be telling their bosses/professors to recommend me for something just because I opened a door for them.

Ignoring peers, I wouldn't know if the person I am opening the door for is rich/famous or poor/homeless, but it wouldn't matter. As long as there is someone walking behind me, I would open the door just because it has become a habit of mine.

I open doors for people, and offer to help them if people seem to be struggling. A lady with a trolley trying to leave the bathroom, I opened the door for her and she gave me the biggest deathstare.. So It isn't always welcome but, it's not a crime to open a door for anyone, and its certainly not a crime to give people a hand now and again.

I am a girl soo I'll reply to the female question as well.. I don't mind too much, It's nice but it's not always necessary, since sometimes I start to feel underminded and useless.

I guess thats what happens when you be too nice too often people take it as an insult and think you're insulting their intelligence and self-responsibility/reliability.

What if they are a random stranger? I just feel like it is impossible to determine whether or not the person opening the door for you is undermining you (you would have to be paranoid and believe the whole world is out to get you), trying to hit on you (because that is how attractive we are), or because they are nice.

I am not trying to be chivalrous, but I just feel like it is common courtesy. I have been in fact yelled at before by someone because I opened the door for them. After I had told them that they aren't as important as they think, they replied back with, "That's what everyone tells me...It's like some sort of conspiracy against me".

Chivalry is not dead; it is rooted in generations and generations of tradition, and it takes quite a while for things like that to completely disappear. (I mean, there are still some people who believe the earth is flat.) Even though some actions like opening doors for women can be seen as sexist, many people still do it, and many people are still teaching their children to do it.

Also, for those few female Southperricans, I have a question for you. If you are on a date, and your date holds the door open for you, or runs around to the side of the car you are on and opens the door for you, what do you think? "I'm perfectly capable of doing it myself!" or "Oh, how sweet of him!" When does "chivalry" go too far with things like that?

I'm perfectly fine with having doors held open for me, since I hold doors open for other people all the time, but running around the car to open the car door for me? That's just completely unnecessary unless I'm carrying a crapton of groceries or something like that. I won't get offended, but depending on the situation, it might make me feel awkward or self-conscious. If it happens on a date, I might also question the guy's intentions. "How badly does this guy want to get into my pants that he runs around the car to open this car door for me when I can easily do it for myself?" I mean, I don't go around randomly opening car doors for people, so it's not something I'm expecting to have done for me.

The same goes with laying a jacket over a puddle so a woman can step over it, though I don't think anyone does this anymore (or ever) outside of the movies. It's completely unnecessary to ruin a perfectly good jacket when a woman can just step around the puddle.

I'm nice to everyone.