This would be an angry dome thread but I'm at a loss here. Hell for once I don't even know how to start this whole thing, but here goes nothing;
Introduction to Sin
The sin being my sister. I've made maybe half a dozen threads about her, but my god has she left me speechless this time. This is a girl, that is beyond teenage angst, beyond teenage apathy, by nature she's just an inconsiderate monster who will gobble you up and spit you out under any pretense that you disagree. You may say she doesn't fall far from the tree from me, but she's on a whole different level of idiocy. Her hypocritical view points and direct contradictions within minutes of her statements go to show this to such a degree it's not only painfully obvious, it's embarrassing.
For example, right before leaving for the beach last week, we we're getting our sh`it packed in the morning. My girlfriend and I, we're effecient, we got it done in like half an hour, maximum. My sister/mother, took nearly 3 hours, and just being plain silly about what they were packing. None the less I was able to get into my car. Well my grandmother said she'd be here at like, 12 PM, and I decided to wait until she was here. My dad said I should just start going now, my sister quick to the trigger stating "Why are you waiting for grandma, just pack up now, that's stupid". So I started at 11:40 only to get a call about 11:55 stating she's gonna be late in half an hour. Unfortunately there's perishables, and about 4 suitcases so I decided to just take out all out. My dad questioned my sister of why I was removing her luggage instead of helping me in 104 degree weather. She stated "If you guy's weren't in such a rush then you'd not having to unpack it like a dumb ass". Of course at this point I kind of flipped out stating it was her suggestion in the first place and that basic math would suggest my timing was pretty goddam precise only to be followed with, "You should have waited for her to call" with the most ludicrious eye roll ever.
To give you an even further idea, my girlfriend has been here like 2 months and absolutely finds my sister ungrateful, dispicable, and just frankly retarded. She has NEVER spoken so bad about someone, and this is based off actions taken against my family, not her. Hell my sister LOVES my girlfriend, but she can't even hold face long enough to show how little she cares about us. She wanted her curfew bumped to 3am over the summer, and I mean out and about. Eventually it reached my dad ear's where she begins to belittle him and say he's just on a power trip, instead of accepting her, in my opinion, gracious 12 am f`ucking curfew. So not only did she disobey him anyway that night, and call him essentially a power tripping community, but did so all on the same day my dad bought her $500 plane tickets to go to L/A to chase her dream of being in the music business. And the next f`ucking day my mom spent $300 on her for clothes, because apparently she needed more summer apparel, only to act obligated that she pay for them. She has a job, sure it's part time, but she makes money, as much as I did at her age, if not more. Hell it gotten so bad that when my girlfriend was having an earache because we think water got into ear. My mom gave my sister $20 bucks to get her and my cousin cheesecake slices, because they wanted it. I took them with me as my mom asked me to take a side trip for them. There was justified reasoning that I won't get into, so I did. So they talk either as I'm not there, or she once again doesn't care, where my sister goes on to say "I don't care what my mom says, i told her once I spent one paycheck here, shes buying me else for me". I kept my mouth shut, but my speed shot up from 40-60 out of anger. lol. That's what I'm dealing with. Every.Day. And if my girlfriend wasn't here, I'd consider it normal because my parents seem to not be phased by it.
[spoiler=Why god's hands are tied]
So you maybe asking "Well why DON'T your parents beat her to the very inch of her life, mentally of course, no bruises show". The problem is, my mother's relationship to my grandmother was absolute sh`it until like, her mid 20's, and was even sent to a boarding school in virginia to finish up school, it was that bad. My family doesn't have that option to send her away like that, and my mother feels like any diciplinary action that would be necessary(Iguess) would destory their relationship forever. At this point I'm kind of like what relationship, and she claims she apologizes to her at some points that I don't see. My mom hide's a lot from my dad in terms of my sister. She has a huge tattoo that she eventually said "If you don't help me get this, I'll do it down at my friends basement" So it was done, and they are going to try to hide it until she's 18ish. This is a girl trying to get into acting/modeling/commercials, whatever and she has a f`ucking tattoo up and down the side of her abdomen. I have nothing against tattoo's, I'm thinking of getting one eventually, but I don't think she can ever understand the repercussions until, they smack her upside the head.
Before you tell me "Oh well you should tell your mom to grow a spine" I have done that in the sinceriest to the coldest way possible. She simply dazes out, ignores it, thinking it's not my place, and moves on. And you know what, I wouldn't care, but there are certain things that do happen to impact me, and neither of these b`itches seem to get it. My dad doesn't have much more power considering he has to be oblivious to the whole thing. He has to take a polygraph test every year or so, and if became aware of the marijuana she brought into the house, the underage drinking, the tattoo, and all that, he would indefinitely lose his job. My sisters response to this? "Well as long as I don't flaunt it and do it secretly then I should be fine, that's why my parent's don't care". God forbid ya know, act like you consider the fact that you want to protect the person who gives you, ya know f`ucking food. My mom has also kept this all a secret from my father, where before the vacation I told him how ridiculous this was becoming.
The reason I did so was because my sister is now constantly begging me to buy her alcohol for her friends, and it was just really..disrespectful. She didn't speak me for four days just to say that. Yes, the only thing she said to me in 4 days is "buy my booz pls". My mothers response? She calls my sister to tell her I ratted her out and she better be home at 12, to forewarn my fathers wrath. What happened? Nothing, my dad wasn't planning on acting on it, he was stripped of the oppurtunity to help her and now he's just going to let her figure it out on her own. At least that's the vibe I get now. It was two weeks before he was going to Geneva, so I'm sure he knew he couldn't do anything in that time frame anyway.[/spoiler]
The purpose
My mother and my girlfriend get along really well. And they're home all day so they both get the same experiences throughout the day. Well, my girlfriend relayed to me, in faith I wouldn't bring it up to my mother/father as she doesn't want to be put in the middle, and I completely sympathesize and will confide this until my dad's is filled in when he's back, that my sister had a request.
To give a little background, she has gotten into music, playing amateur guitar and singing lessons. So she got into "street performing" with a few friends she recently met, who have amazing musical talent, according to her. Well southperry, I went to see them, and her friends are evidently homeless and use this as income. Some actually live under boardwalks. They look like hippies, and of course the classic "Oh he was a genius, he just never applied himself." They weren't terrible, but they weren't great either. I gave them $20 in their little guitar case to show some support.
Well truth be told, they are the epitome of pothead musician. Their parents kicked them out and now they are just trying to sell music, the only car the band has is like from the 90's and the air conditioning broke. Well one of them my sister has a crush on, becuase he kind of looks like one of the "one direction" boy's, The darker one apparently, curley hair. So she's been trying to support him because she think's he's fantastic and he's going to be someone. I digress, it's her decision UNTIL she starts putting that same pressure for us to support him and his dreams.
She actually went up to my mother and asked "Can't we foster him, he wants to go to college, I mean he can just live in the basement, he has no home"./pity. And let me tell you, we got a certainly well telling practice if this was allowed since he's stayed over the last 3 days under my mother's permission. Only to find the basement, where my dad fu`cking works wreaks of pot. Then my sister stoned out of her mind eats everything in sight. The b`itch even stole my cold coke, COME ON. And go to college? To study what exactly? Liberal f`ucking arts? Guess who's going to be carpooling him. YOU'RE LOOKING AT HIM. In the end it's up to my dad to say yes or no, which i can almost gurrantee a no, until he's f`ucking already living in the basement. He's just a straight up loser and that's the only thing my mother seems to agree with.
WUT
I can't exactly communicate with my mother, I feel like anything I say will either break her or make her more ignorant of the fact. I can't put my own foot down, it's not my house, and trust me my sister uses that all the time evidently. I can't exactly call the cops becuase it might hurt more than fix anything and I'm at the mercy of my dad coming home and laying out his authority which won't happen for two weeks.
So do I just lie down and accept my sister is a inconsiderate bi`tch where wishing she suffers such an amount of failure she may commit suicide reasonable?
As much as it hurts, you have to let her fall. It's the only way she'll learn. None of this is your fault, Your parent's are too lenient to do anything and thats something they have to deal with, not you. Your not the parent here, nor should you be responsible for her. Dont buy her anything, Only drive her around if you absolutly have to. The only thing you can hope for at this point is she falls hard enough for a reality check without killing her.
Also, Have you considered moving out to get away from all the drama? I dont know the exact situation but i'm betting it would be better than living with it day in and day out.
As much as it hurts, you have to let her fall. It's the only way she'll learn. None of this is your fault, Your parent's are too lenient to do anything and thats something they have to deal with, not you. Your not the parent here, nor should you be responsible for her. Dont buy her anything, Only drive her around if you absolutly have to. The only thing you can hope for at this point is she falls hard enough for a reality check without killing her.
Also, Have you considered moving out to get away from all the drama? I dont know the exact situation but i'm betting it would be better than living with it day in and day out.
I can't consider it yet, it's way to expensive over here.
i have to ask you man, what stops you from moving the hell out of there? (yes, i did read everything) someone help me translate this, but about your mother "a oidos sordos, palabras necias" i.e. if she won't listen anyways, whatever you say won't matter.
about your sister, cut her from your life, period, stop the niceties and the gifts and the whatnots, let her do what she wants and don't have anything to do with it.
if there's someone that i feel sorry for it's your father, who from what you say, has his job preventing him from sending her to an institution or something.
That's pretty fucked up, especially the guy in the basement.
There's not much you can do, especially if your mom just kinda ignores what you've talked to her about and moves on.
I know for sure I wouldn't be buying her alcohol though
In all honesty, if I were you I'd just sit back and wait for the real world to hit your sister in the face.
ShinkuDragon Wrote:i have to ask you man, what stops you from moving the hell out of there? (yes, i did read everything) someone help me translate this, but about your mother "a oidos sordos, palabras necias" i.e. if she won't listen anyways, whatever you say won't matter.
I pay about $500 bucks in rent, that's for everything. That alone would probably get me a really crappy townhouse, which would jump my total rent to over $1200 buck's including utilities and sh`it like that. I could live off that, but my current situation is better for my pocket. I'm considering it once I get my girlfriend migrated over here and she gets a job. Otherwise I would have left awhile ago.
ShinkuDragon Wrote:if there's someone that i feel sorry for it's your father, who from what you say, has his job preventing him from sending her to an institution or something.
He doesn't have the money and if I were personally report her it could affect his job status. He has to extra careful because he's a highly moral guy and he takes a lie detector test every year. So he may not be able to pass it if he knows there's illegal activities in the household.
icephoenix21 Wrote:In all honesty, if I were you I'd just sit back and wait for the real world to hit your sister in the face.
Oh, I'm waiting, she thinks she has the real world figured out. But I'm so waiting.
KhainiWest Wrote:I pay about $500 bucks in rent, that's for everything. That alone would probably get me a really crappy townhouse, which would jump my total rent to over $1200 buck's including utilities and sh`it like that. I could live off that, but my current situation is better for my pocket. I'm considering it once I get my girlfriend migrated over here and she gets a job. Otherwise I would have left awhile ago.
He doesn't have the money and if I were personally report her it could affect his job status. He has to extra careful because he's a highly moral guy and he takes a lie detector test every year. So he may not be able to pass it if he knows there's illegal activities in the household.
Oh, I'm waiting, she thinks she has the real world figured out. But I'm so waiting.
in paragraph order:
i say so mainly because i'm concerned on your mental health.
i know, it's why i feel sorry for him
believe it or not, i'm waiting for this thread myself. those tears will be so delicious i'd be able to taste them through the internet and your extremely cool way of portraying stuff.
i say so mainly because i'm concerned on your mental health.
i know, it's why i feel sorry for him
believe it or not, i'm waiting for this thread myself. those tears will be so delicious i'd be able to taste them through the internet and your extremely cool way of portraying stuff.
Same order;
Meh in that regard there is no worry. The only reason I didn't join the military is because I didn't agree with the war. No shape or form does someone I believe inferior to me could hurt my ego. But this is just a rant I needed to have. lol
-both paragraphs-
See the thing is, I have a feeling my father is going to find out about the tattoo soon, which might lead to a divorce on account of her, I can deal with it, however, I hope it eats her up alive. I hope this agency in L/a (which I'm going too as well if anyone in L/a wants to meet up@@) completely destroys her. If she becomes famous I'll be the first mother f`ucker to sell that b`itch out, I tell you what
neh, not about your ego, i live in conditions that are somewhat similar, and it's just one big stress, i don't leave for the same reasons as you though losing that money from the pocket does hurt ._. but my family is pretty taxing.
divorces are somewhat serious, but knowing you, if that happens you'll be fine, and i'd rather not go deeper into that discussion so i'm dropping it, instead i'll ask, when should we be expecting a thread about her applying for the job? (and when you rat her out in the improbable case the improbable happens, mind your dad*)
neh, not about your ego, i live in conditions that are somewhat similar, and it's just one big stress, i don't leave for the same reasons as you though losing that money from the pocket does hurt ._. but my family is pretty taxing.
divorces are somewhat serious, but knowing you, if that happens you'll be fine, and i'd rather not go deeper into that discussion so i'm dropping it, instead i'll ask, when should we be expecting a thread about her applying for the job? (and when you rat her out in the improbable case the improbable happens, mind your dad*)
It depends if it's worth talking about, I'll be there the entire first week of august though.
So an update of the situation since my dad has been back;
He came back on saturday at around 5 o clock. Welcomed him home let him ya know, digest he's home. He was under a lot of the stress because he was part of the chair commitee in Geneva(sp?) which is essentially regulates the entire radio conference.
what they do to my knowledge
(Pretty much the discuss radio frequency space like trading land, such as verizon wanting a piece of europe to make their connections much more stable, and have to prove it won't f`uck up AT&T or the french government or something next door, pretty much that's all I know he does)
.
My mom knew I was going to say something cus I was so fed up with this, so she hit the alcohol to cushon the blow. Unfortunately for her, I'm a little more considerate than to lay that out on him the day he's back. In fact I had previously decided I'd just blow after this whole L/A vacation. Even more unfortunate is that my sister thought my dad was coming home sunday, not saturday, and ended up having them all crash again at our house. My mom warned her and she kicked all of em out by like 1. Dad came home, sister wasn't home, mind you this is like after 2 weeks, didn't even bother saying hi to him. He's spending nearly 4 grand on this goddamn trip for her and her friends are much more important.
Well congratulations to my sister for allowing her asinine behavior to leave me an opening. My mom was really tired cus of the wine and the fact she was stressin that she thought I was going to be like "OH MY GOD MOM IS SUCH A FAILURE SHE LET THIS AND THIS AND THIS HAPPEN". My girlfriend and I stayed up till about 2:30 am before calling it a night, waiting for her to come in. She comes in at 3 am, with 2 guy's, and bangs pots and pans to make something quick to eat. My dad's time is about 6 hours ahead, so 3 am is 9 am to him. He comes down, tells her to go to bed and lock's the front door before heading up. When he came down 3 hour's later he saw the door was unlocked, which means someone was here at 3 am. My sister really tried to play it off to my mom as "dad went out to smoke he forgot to lock it@@", but when my dad confronted her about it, "I locked it thinking it was unlocked, which left it unlocked".
My dad saw the tip of the ice burg with this curfew thing. Unfortunately the toilet down stairs in the basement was leaking, and my sister was strangely curious about that, as in, I'm pretty sure one of her dumb ass friends caused it to leak by leaning on it or something. I know my dad caught the hint of "strangely curious", but he's a rational guy, he won't attack/make claims without evidence. I know someone stayed down in the basment imbetween those hours because I made a trap. I brought all the pillows up last night at 2:30 am, and suddenly they were all down there. My sister was definitely sleeping in her room, also the bed down there was made cus my gf/mom recently cleaned the "office" side of the basment.
None the less my dad gave her a lecture about her curfew and how he'd reasonably accept her being out from 12-12:30am, although curfew for under 18 is 12 for our area, but 3am is completely off the mark and not acceptable. She played it off as she's sorry but all she does is hang out at another kid's house. Also throwing her friends under the bus saying that they don't let her come home at that time. My dad prompty responded, if they were real friends they'd respect you, and they'll respect a very very lenient rule I try to enforce. After the whole lecture, my sisters entire crew was outside, in 95 degree heat, humidity making it like 110, just...sitting on the porch. They are too afraid of my dad to even walk into the house. My sister forced them in to say hi. My dad was friendly to them, I'm not sure of his opinion of them as of yet, but he was being polite at the very least. Cracking a joke or two whatever.
They all left to go do whatever, where I walk into the kitchen, overhearing the entire conversation, and I simply say "We need to talk about what happened during this trip cus it wasn't fun, but I'll tell you after the L/a trip to not put on further awkwardness." I planted the seed. I gave him a foreshadowing, a worry, and all I have to do is leave the house for 20 minutes, for him to try to get the answers out of my mother. So I left to best buy to get a TB external drive and came back, where he pulled me to the side.
He tried to lecture me on not being a parent, how the whole
food inquiry
I don't know if I put this in my main post, I can't be asked to re-read it but essentially they would go somewhere, get high, and come home and binge eat. It's the families food, generally, but I buy my own food for lunch and typically dinners, although I might get lazy one day and make leftover or something. In other word's I'm an Adult and I know once in awhile someone is going to eat a yogurt or apple that I bought with my own money, label or not. The thing is, they ate my entire loaf of bread, all my sandwhich meat, all my fruits, litterally everything I just bought the day before, and drank all my alcohol. It ran me close to $100-120 to replace it and lock it. I did express this to my mother as I was trying to explain to her that having 5 people play hotel here is unacceptable
food thing is petty but he'll take care of it. That I should get off my mom's case and how my sister can be difficult, let them two be the parents. I kind of gawked at him, more pissed off at the fact the only thing my mother could tell him about this whole thing is "Dustin's mad cus (sister) at all his food one night". I pulled up the rocking chair behind me, "Okay, let's talk about this whole thing".
I tell him everything that has happened, how 5 guys essentially were here every night, all day, only to be playing instruments at 2 am in the morning. How my sister outright defied my mother multiple times after I did confront her about the situation. How she'd come home at 3 am, her entire group wreaking in pot that even the house caught the fumes for an hour, only to be bing eating everything in the house. How she drank all my alcohol without even consulting me, how she made me hook up the wii only to steal all the accessories I purchased, and play at ungodly hours. How my mom tied my noose by telling my sister I ratted her out, punishing me for being honest with my dad, how on some day's they stole my parking spot, how they constantly begged for cash, my sister literally telling my mother "I already spent one paycheck for my vacation! YOU need to pay for my stuff now" (roughly $100), compltely wrecked my bathroom, used nearly everything in it, and how even though I did tell my mom about the food thing, that she clearly wasn't getting the point.
My dad called my sister up not even 2 minutes later, telling her how she needs to get home by curfew and if she brings anyone home he's calling the police on both of them. He's gonna have a long talk with her today, I'm sure. I'll keep you updated cus this is some well deserving redemption that I've been starving for.
My advice is to not take family-related advice from kids on the internet, myself included (save this tidbit.)
Most people here aren't old enough to have any genuine experience or solid answers for your issues, especially in a situation as difficult as yours. It's really your parents responsibility and your dad kind of needs to stop being such a platypus and take some action if she's threatening to his career.
Sarah Wrote:My advice is to not take family-related advice from kids on the internet, myself included (save this tidbit.)
Most people here aren't old enough to have any genuine experience or solid answers for your issues, especially in a situation as difficult as yours. It's really your parents responsibility and your dad kind of needs to stop being such a platypus and take some action if she's threatening to his career.
I'm more on the lines ranting and looking for a discussion really. You guy's are my uncertified psychologist.
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