> SPURB: The Tale of 8 Youths
#1


The day was young and it was the Monday of March the tenth, which is in fact the beginning of Spring break. One will soon realize it was the start of the most awesome Spring break ever because SPURB arrives today. The critically acclaimed game from Gamebro & Gamesis magazines. The morning is still young and there is still much time remaining before the mail will arrive.



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#2
A young man sits in his room just waking up from the nights previous adventures. He stands there tall and slacking. He must have been gaming all last night because he looks like absolute dammit. What a pathetic looking eighteen year old.

What will the name of this pathetic looking loser be?



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#3
Hentai Meatheat!

No you fucking jackass, that's stupid.

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#4
 Spoiler


Your name is DJ SISORED, you are 18 years old. You are a BOY WITH GLASSES, AND AN ODD ADDICTION TO SWEET TEA, PEPSI, AND MTN DEW. You doodle sometimes but they usually look like flying spaghetti monsters. You watch anime and enjoy them a lot. You are currently in your room with your multi-monitor desk and your nice iced sweet tea cup in front of you. You begin to activate pesterchum when your friend quickly messages you to talk. You realize that FF is bugging you again. You sigh, but then you are distracted by the cute dog in your room Sona. She occupied her corner of the room quite well and seems to horde bones there quite often. What a strange animal you have. You look at your wall and notice your limited edition LANCE-A-LOT being quite fancily placed on the wall elegantly. You sure do love your LONG POINTY OBJECTS, yet even without it you are one DANGEROUS MOTHERFU
CKER; or so you think. You are also quite the MUSICIAN, playing multiple instruments and quite skilled at the Brass side of the instrument family. You play sometimes when you're bored being on the internet, which you rarely ever are. What do you do...?
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#5
[Image: syFJL.png]


You decide that it's time to check the mail outside, but then you looked at the clock and it's only 8 AM. Still about 6 hours or so till the mail should arrive. What a drag.
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#6
You smell bacon, and you know the only person who cooks bacon in your house is Benard. Benard really loves you and Sona deeply.
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#7
You begin to venture outside your room into the hallway connecting yours, the living room, and Benards room. Not sure why she gets a room to her own since it is YOUR apartment. But that is not the case for now, the case for now is indeed bacon.
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#8
​You walk out into the living room. Nearby is the kitchen area and the dining area. With the two couches and a large ass television next to it. It's the living room of a lesser mans dream. But alas, Benard finds quaint rooms lovely so you leave her be.
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#9
You slowly move inside the kitchen, peeking almost. You see Benard cooking the bacon. The majesty of her cooking is almost god like. But you must remember, she isn't Gordon Ramsey. She can't be that amazing. Then you remember she did cook for KINGS once upon a time.
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#10
Benard turns her wagging ass around to notice you were standing there. She tells you breakfast will be done soon and tells you to sit down. Her mischevious tail and mouth tell you she may be feeding you her last nights meal. Which is fine, it's not like you never did it before, but if it's human you try to give it to Sona. Mostly because she'll eat just about any damn thing.

So you situate your ass on your chair and wait on Benard to deliver your food. If you had a tail, it'd be wagging the fuck out right now.
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#11
Benard serves you your bacon and you begin to eat, but you notice that the bacon is standing and is attacking!

 Combat Song: Octoroon Ragoon loop

Bacon begins the fight!

> Bacon: uses Aggrieve with with calories!
> Bacon: Deals 0 damage! Fool knows that a southernman like Dj doesn't give a damn about calories!

Dj's turn!

> Dj: Aggrieves with Nom nom attack!
> Dj: Deals critical hit! Knock out on Bacon!

Bacon loses 100% of its hp! -2 HP, 0 HP remaining.

DJ WINS!
Dj gains 1 XP!
Dj gains happeh belly!

Status: Normal, but with happy belly!
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#12
You begin to thank Benard, but you notice she ran off. Guess she needed to go for a walk. No big deal, she does know everything, you guess.
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#13
You decided to go back to your room and get on the computer. You think you heard a ping go off of PESTERCHUM earlier.
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#14
Oh god it's just FF. She seems to never leave you alone sometimes. Guess it's time to message her back.
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#15
[Image: oXr51.png]
 Show pesterlog



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#16
[Image: A1KGh.png]

 Show pesterlog
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#17
You are now the lovely lady!

What might her name be?
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#18
 Spoiler

No... Just no.
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#19
Who is Derosis?
 Spoiler

Much better!

You are Luisa Robles, last time you were pestering your friend about his dumb game when your internet connection died. Might as well do something else right now. What will you do?
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#20
[Image: zudcZ.png]
My, what a pomegranatety room... Anyways! Here is your room, Over there is your Boktai 3 Poster! It was a gift from a friend, you don't even know how he got it, but he totally did. On the other side of the wall is your Nazrin painting, not your cat silly! Nazrin the touhou character, a friend did that for you, it took her about 15 hours of constant work which will never be paid, what a shame. Over there is your wardrobe, you keep all your nifty clothing and cosplay inside it. You have a Madoka poster over your bed, you actualy bought that one yourself, but... you can't remember when or where. Your great chest of arms is near your computer, you keep your trusty guns inside it, you never use them but in a place as dangerous as this it you can never have too many guns. Your cat is obviously on your bed, that bastard never leaves your bed. Finally, your AMAZING Tails doll is over the- wait, where is your tails doll?

Oh for pineapple's sake, your cat got it again, Quick! catch her before she leaves or does any damage to the plush!!!
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