2011-05-14, 12:22 AM
So whenever I go to a Teppan Grill I usually expect the same old, same old. Not tonight. Not tonight at all.
We got this place here new called Kobe Teppan Grill. Reviews have been incredible so me and the family went to try it ourselves. Walk, 20 minute wait. Not too shabby so we do so. Go to the Sushi bar and order some Gyoza. Might as well, hold us over. Place is beautiful, servers are beautiful, etc.
So we finally get seated with a nice family, two little girls with them, one 8 and one 5. All shy and nervous because of the big bad grill. Don't be afraid guys, it's awesome.
So the light comes, you know what that means. Showtime. Little did I know that I'd be getting the f'ucking show of a lifetime.
So this guy, Vietnamese. Not sure of his name because he was the only one without a name tag. Curious why, I looked around to inspect a few things. All the others out there at the time were wearing standard uniform, when this guy had on a white outfit, with a dragon smack dab in the middle. Impressive, this guy must be a bit better than the others, I thought. WAS I F'UCKING RIGHT.
This guy meant business. I noticed first thing you can tell this guy puts on a show for his f'ucking crowd, and not just the same thing every time, he looks at who is in it and does it according to them. He saw the two little girls and knew exactly what to do.
Regular procedure, oil on the grill. Not tonight my friends. This time it's Mickey motherf'ucking Mouse. Yeah, like a boss made Mickey Mouse on the grill with oil: face, smile, eyes, and ears. Spot on. Whoa, this guy is impressive. GETS BETTER.
He moves on to the eggs to get that fried rice ready to eat up like the good-paying customers we are. Whips them out, cracks a couple and puts them in one big blob in the center. Cool, got one egg left, let's see what you can do Quan (his name I found out later). WHAT DID HE DO? He noticed that my mom had a Nascar shirt on and said "Is this dinosaur egg?" to the girl, "No no... It Nascar haha." WHAT? I don't like Nascar but how he did think of this. So he gets the last egg, cracks a hole into it with precision like a ninja or something then proceeds to use his fingers to race it around the circle he made. Next line killed me.
"Only left turn guys."
WHAT?! WHO IS THIS GUY AND WHY ISN'T HE CURRENTLY HAVING MY BABIES?
Not even the best part. Not even.
EVERYONE, everyone who has been to a Teppan grill has seen the Volcano. Onion Volcano. You know what I'm f'ucking talking about. You guys know. I saw it coming; best part. Grabs the onions, placing them on top of one another. Puts some oil in the middle. Wai... Wait. I've never seen this before. Why is placing oil in the corner of grill? What are you doing Quan?...
Proceeds to draw a trail from the blob to the Volcano. Oh he's going to make a lil trail of fire. That's awesom- WAIT WHAT NO. WHAT THE F'UCK?! LIGHTS HIS THUMB ON FIRE, HITS THE BLOB, DRAGS IT ACROSS THE GRILL INTO THE VOLCANO. BOOM. I came. I came a lot.
So anyways, fire burned out BUT WHAT!? WASN'T DONE WITH THE VOLCANO?!? NOPE! He grabs a ChooChoo Whistle from his little handy man teppan cart and pushes the Volcano while blowing into the ChooChoo whistle. OH GOD THE KIDS LOVED IT, BUT GUESS WHAT? I WAS SITTING THERE CLAPPING LIKE A F'AGGOT AND DIDN'T EVEN KNOW IT. I was so impressed.
The meal goes the same from there until the end. He has some leftover shrimp tails from before and tells the little girl "Keep count for me okay?"
One. Two. Three. "How many go in?"
"Three!" -holds up three fingers-
Daww.
"Hmm, let's see" -reaches in hat and pulls one out then drops it-
-While pointing- "One! hahah"
-reaches in and pulls another out-
"Two!"
-reaches in then says- "I can't fin- OH! Here it is, you can keep this one."
She reaches her hand out. He blows on his hand then drops what is expected to be a shrimp tail.
NOPE! YOU ARE F'UCKING INCORRECT. IT'S A DUMDUM LOLLIPOP. LITTLE GIRL HAD THE BIGGEST SMILE ON HER FACE.
EVERYBODY CLAPPING. EVERYBODY. I look over to my dad. "Hey, have a sake bomb with him. He deserves it."
"Yeah he does.."
My mom decides to be a c'unt and say "How much are they?!?"
"Uh... 8 bucks each"
"Oh my god no! Too much!"
There's the door mom. Get the f'uck out.
Anyways, Quan is my hero.
We got this place here new called Kobe Teppan Grill. Reviews have been incredible so me and the family went to try it ourselves. Walk, 20 minute wait. Not too shabby so we do so. Go to the Sushi bar and order some Gyoza. Might as well, hold us over. Place is beautiful, servers are beautiful, etc.
So we finally get seated with a nice family, two little girls with them, one 8 and one 5. All shy and nervous because of the big bad grill. Don't be afraid guys, it's awesome.
So the light comes, you know what that means. Showtime. Little did I know that I'd be getting the f'ucking show of a lifetime.
So this guy, Vietnamese. Not sure of his name because he was the only one without a name tag. Curious why, I looked around to inspect a few things. All the others out there at the time were wearing standard uniform, when this guy had on a white outfit, with a dragon smack dab in the middle. Impressive, this guy must be a bit better than the others, I thought. WAS I F'UCKING RIGHT.
This guy meant business. I noticed first thing you can tell this guy puts on a show for his f'ucking crowd, and not just the same thing every time, he looks at who is in it and does it according to them. He saw the two little girls and knew exactly what to do.
Regular procedure, oil on the grill. Not tonight my friends. This time it's Mickey motherf'ucking Mouse. Yeah, like a boss made Mickey Mouse on the grill with oil: face, smile, eyes, and ears. Spot on. Whoa, this guy is impressive. GETS BETTER.
He moves on to the eggs to get that fried rice ready to eat up like the good-paying customers we are. Whips them out, cracks a couple and puts them in one big blob in the center. Cool, got one egg left, let's see what you can do Quan (his name I found out later). WHAT DID HE DO? He noticed that my mom had a Nascar shirt on and said "Is this dinosaur egg?" to the girl, "No no... It Nascar haha." WHAT? I don't like Nascar but how he did think of this. So he gets the last egg, cracks a hole into it with precision like a ninja or something then proceeds to use his fingers to race it around the circle he made. Next line killed me.
"Only left turn guys."
WHAT?! WHO IS THIS GUY AND WHY ISN'T HE CURRENTLY HAVING MY BABIES?
Not even the best part. Not even.
EVERYONE, everyone who has been to a Teppan grill has seen the Volcano. Onion Volcano. You know what I'm f'ucking talking about. You guys know. I saw it coming; best part. Grabs the onions, placing them on top of one another. Puts some oil in the middle. Wai... Wait. I've never seen this before. Why is placing oil in the corner of grill? What are you doing Quan?...
Proceeds to draw a trail from the blob to the Volcano. Oh he's going to make a lil trail of fire. That's awesom- WAIT WHAT NO. WHAT THE F'UCK?! LIGHTS HIS THUMB ON FIRE, HITS THE BLOB, DRAGS IT ACROSS THE GRILL INTO THE VOLCANO. BOOM. I came. I came a lot.
So anyways, fire burned out BUT WHAT!? WASN'T DONE WITH THE VOLCANO?!? NOPE! He grabs a ChooChoo Whistle from his little handy man teppan cart and pushes the Volcano while blowing into the ChooChoo whistle. OH GOD THE KIDS LOVED IT, BUT GUESS WHAT? I WAS SITTING THERE CLAPPING LIKE A F'AGGOT AND DIDN'T EVEN KNOW IT. I was so impressed.
The meal goes the same from there until the end. He has some leftover shrimp tails from before and tells the little girl "Keep count for me okay?"
One. Two. Three. "How many go in?"
"Three!" -holds up three fingers-
Daww.
"Hmm, let's see" -reaches in hat and pulls one out then drops it-
-While pointing- "One! hahah"
-reaches in and pulls another out-
"Two!"
-reaches in then says- "I can't fin- OH! Here it is, you can keep this one."
She reaches her hand out. He blows on his hand then drops what is expected to be a shrimp tail.
NOPE! YOU ARE F'UCKING INCORRECT. IT'S A DUMDUM LOLLIPOP. LITTLE GIRL HAD THE BIGGEST SMILE ON HER FACE.
EVERYBODY CLAPPING. EVERYBODY. I look over to my dad. "Hey, have a sake bomb with him. He deserves it."
"Yeah he does.."
My mom decides to be a c'unt and say "How much are they?!?"
"Uh... 8 bucks each"
"Oh my god no! Too much!"
There's the door mom. Get the f'uck out.
Anyways, Quan is my hero.

