oh f'uck oh f'uck oh f'uck oh f'uck

>friend of mine and his gf were dating
>he's a swinger
>she just dumped him tonight
>messages me on Fb asking if she can come over and talk
>last time she was over and we hung out (that wasn't her and her now ex arguing) she was flirting with me
>???
>she wants my disco stick

F'UCK MY MIND AND IT'S LEAPING SENSES OF PARANOID CONCLUSIONS I SWEAR I HOPE TO GOD SHE DOESN'T TRY TO HOOK UP WITH ME OH SWEET GOD PLEASE DON'T LET THIS HAPPEN PLEASE LORD(S) ABOVE (AND BELOW) DON'T LET THIS BE HER COMING OVER AND COMING ON TO ME I DON'T WANT DON'T WANT DON'T WANT DON'T F'UCKING WANT.

just say no.

The core of this issue is what happened at step ???.

just say no.

DUDE THAT'S JUST IT IVE BEEN HUNG AS ALL HELL THIS PAST FEW DAYS I DONT KNOW IF I COULD IF SHE DID AND I WORRY THAT THATS WHAT SHE WILL WANNA DO IS TRY TO GET WITH ME FOR WHATEVER ARBITRARY RAESON AND I MEAN SHES OKAY AS A PERSON AND ALL BUT REALLY I DONT WANNA HAVE THIS HAPPEN AND HOPE IT DOESNT ALL ITD DO IS CAUSE UNDUE DRAMA IN THE ALREADY SMALL CIRCLE OF FRIENDS I HAVE AND I HONESTLY DONT TRUST MR JOHNSON TO NOT SAY NO IF THAT CAL COMES TO PASS

The core of this issue is what happened at step ???.

STEP ??? = PARANOIA INDUCED ASSUMPTIONS

YOU'RE RIGHT MAN, YOU SHOULD MOVE OUT OF THE STATE OR SOMETHING.

If you don't have a partner at the moment, or anyone you like.. hey, go for it. Unless her body is filled with STDs or something, then of course, don't even bother.

I HONESTLY DONT TRUST MR JOHNSON TO NOT SAY NO IF THAT CAL COMES TO PASS

STEP ??? = PARANOIA INDUCED ASSUMPTIONS

Oh my God. I'm sorry, that was hilarious.

Less freaking out, though, dude. Just relax. If you don't want it to happen, don't let it.

If you don't have a partner at the moment, or anyone you like.. hey, go for it. Unless her body is filled with STDs or something, then of course, don't even bother.

KHOI YOU KNOW F'UCKING WELL ENOUGH AS ANYONE MY STATUS WITH SEXUAL MATTERS AND SLASH OR THE LACK THEREOF AND HENCE MY WORRY BECAUSE I JUST MIGHT AND THAT FRIGHTENS ME BECAUSE YES SHE HAS BEEN AROUND THE BLOCK SO FAR AS I KNOW

YOU'RE RIGHT MAN, YOU SHOULD MOVE OUT OF THE STATE OR SOMETHING.

I CANT IVE GOTTA STAY TIL I SHIP OUT TO BASIC IN JUNE SO MY ASS IS STUCK RIGHT HERE MAN SH'IT SUCKS

KHOI YOU KNOW F'UCKING WELL ENOUGH AS ANYONE MY STATUS WITH SEXUAL MATTERS AND SLASH OR THE LACK THEREOF AND HENCE MY WORRY BECAUSE I JUST MIGHT AND THAT FRIGHTENS ME BECAUSE YES SHE HAS BEEN AROUND THE BLOCK SO FAR AS I KNOW

So let me get this straight. Are you implying you're a virgin and she's a slut? This might be . . . interesting.

HIT IT AND QUIT IT

So let me get this straight. Are you implying you're a virgin and she's a slut? This might be . . . interesting.

KHOI I AM IMPLYING THAT AS STRONGLY AS YOU LOVE ALCOHOL AND VIDYA GAEMS

F`uck her who cares. You said you're getting deployed? Think of it as a going away present.

F`uck her who cares. You said you're getting deployed? Think of it as a going away present.

DUDE NOT FUNNY SHES ALREADY JOKED ABOUT F'UCKING ME BEFORE I LEAVE BEFORE

KHOI I AM IMPLYING THAT AS STRONGLY AS YOU LOVE ALCOHOL AND VIDYA GAEMS

Oh ok, makes sense. Not as much as I love little flat-chested girls though, ohwai-. But yeah, if she isn't filled with STDs, I'd say.. go for it, bruh. If you think she's a bag of STDs, don't. I know this one chick IRL that's been aiming at my d`ick for a while now, but she's such a dirty slut, so I never hit it.

Everyone else is doing it.

You know you want to.

Is she hot?

Oh ok, makes sense. Not as much as I love little flat-chested girls though, ohwai-. But yeah, if she isn't filled with STDs, I'd say.. go for it, bruh. If you think she's a bag of STDs, don't. I know this one chick IRL that's been aiming at my d`ick for a while now, but she's such a dirty slut, so I never hit it.

THATS JUST IT I DONT KNOW IF SHE DOES OR NOT BUT I DONT WANNA RISK IT

Is she hot?

OUT OF 10 SHES A 4 AND A HALF