Two hunters are out in the woods...

...when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.

He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"

[SPOILER=I bet you're all thinking this right now]

Nope. I'm thinking this is a bloody old joke.

Keep yer damn pants on ye stupid lizard.

Keep yer damn pants on ye stupid lizard.

no

http://instantrimshot.com/

I didnt even laugh the first time i heard this joke.

http://instantrimshot.com/

Fixed.

Fixed.

That's their way of laughing

That's their way of laughing

http://instantrimshot.com/index.php?sound=csi

I told you nobody would like it, Kojo.

I told you.

I told you nobody would like it, Kojo.

I told you.

People should listen to you more often.

I told you nobody would like it, Kojo.

I told you.

I didn't know your name is Nobody

Get the hell out of here with your crappy jokes, you goddamn lizard.

Get the hell out of here with your crappy jokes, you goddamn lizard.

god dammit kojo.

god dammit kojo.

What? Is that a drop bear?

Delete if innapropriate:

A father and his son are sitting at a table. The father is drinking a whisky. The son asks if he can drink? His dad answers:
- Can you touch your ass'hole with your plantain?
- Herm. No?
- Then, you have your answer.
Later on, the dad light up a cigarette. His son asks if he can smoke. The dad answers:
- Can you touch your ass'holewith your plantain?
- Herm. No.
- Then you have your answer.
Later on, the father scratch a lottery ticket. He win nothing. His son asks if he can scratch one. The dad agrees. After scratching, the son says:
- YAY! 200 000$!!
- You'll share with your old dad, heh?
- Can you touch your ass'hole with your plantain?
- Yes, naturally.
- Then, put it in really deep.

LOL

I didn't know your name is Nobody

No that's Swerve.