Favorite quotes.

"Im so hungry! I could eat an octoroc!"
Link... yeah Link

"Wemen with big breasts are my weakness!"
Laharl

"dood"
Prinnies

"Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that."
- George Carlin

99% of people can be below average, since it measures values. Carlin is referring to the Median, there.

./math nerd.

!quote 409

Ocean's 13 is all about cool people having a good time, and who doesn't want to see that? Well YOU, apparently, 'cause you're watching me.

A woman in Ohio says she opened a can of SpaghettiOs and found a dead rat. You know what’s even more disgusting — she also found SpaghettiOs.
Scientists are saying that eating pecans every day may decrease your cholesterol. So in case they’re right, I wrap all of my pecans in bacon.

James Cameron, who directed 'Avatar,' is in a feud with Glenn Beck, because Cameron called him a mad man. The two are very different. One makes millions creating fictional stories, and the other is James Cameron.

On “The Early Show” tomorrow morning, Harry Smith will receive the first live TV colonoscopy. CBS is very excited; they’re already planning the spinoff show, “How I Met Your Rectum.”
The network hopes that the live colonoscopy will get good ratings, so to boost their chances, the procedure will be performed by the cast of “CSI.”

Congratulations to Bill Clinton for going to North Korea and freeing the two journalists. To be fair, it wasn’t that hard for Bill . . . he’s used to sneaking women out of government buildings.

The Olsen twins both turn 23 this weekend. They'll be celebrating like they do every year — they get a birthday cake and don't eat it.

Bob Dylan's album is No. 1 on the charts. He beat out Miley Cyrus. An old man on top of a young woman? Sounds like a party at Hugh Hefner's house.

MTV, Music Television, is putting actual music videos back on their network. If it works, Fox News said they'll start doing actual news again.

In California, the ban on gay marriage passed. Gay people are furious. They stormed the State Capitol in Sacramento and caused $3 million in improvements to the city.

If I have a near-beer, I’m near beer. And if I’m near beer, I’m close to tequila. And if I’m close to tequila, I’m adjacent to cocaine.

This new sandwich, Its awesome, Its basically a three-way between two chickens and a pig.

"There's a joke in there. Something about Nick's weiner and a short level."

"So short it'd be a quick time event."

- 4pp

"Spiders are disgusting and if you ever meet somebody that says they actually like spiders you should keep your distance because they probably worship the devil."

“I like minorities so much, I’m thinking of moving to California to become one.”

“I'm gonna say this as nice as I can. But you look like a sad clown hooker.”

“Remember our power motto, girls. It’s all about the teasin’ and not about the pleasin.”

"Build a man a fire and he'll be warm for the night. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. "

"Spiders are disgusting and if you ever meet somebody that says they actually like spiders you should keep your distance because they probably worship the devil."

"Spiders are disgusting and if you ever meet somebody that says they actually like spiders you should keep your distance because they probably worship the devil."

Arent spiders seen as a symbol of good luck in chinese culture?

"Feel the pain...of those inferior beings...as you burn in hell!"

Agh. This is going to kill me, because I can't switch to my old saves to find the exact quote, since I had to back them up when I started After Story in order to have enough saves to save my favorite moments...

"What would you say if we woke up tomorrow... and we were lovers?"

:|

"Sometimes, when you don't ask questions, it's not because you are afraid that someone will lie to your face. It's because you're afraid that they'll tell you the truth."

"It takes two people to make a lie work : the person who tells it , and the one who believes it ."

Just for the lulz , "
The person who is thinking of jumping off a train is talking about common sense

"Build a man a fire and he'll be warm for the night. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. "

Ah, I love this one.

"If it's "creepy" to use the Internet, military satellites, and robot aircraft to find a house full of gorgeous young models so I can drop in on them unexpected, then FINE, I'm "creepy". "
-Wolowitz in big bang theory.

Fat people are harder to kidnap.

"The french don't have a word for entrepreneur"

-Bush

"The french don't have a word for entrepreneur"
-Bush

Rarely is the question asked, is our children learning?

"The french don't have a word for entrepreneur"

-Bush

"There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again." — Bush

*while kidnapping a princess, talking to the knights who were supposed to protect her* -- "Don't blame me, blame yourself or God."

"I caught you this JigglyPuff..it can sing to you.."

Found a new one tonight.

 Spoiler