I don't even...

So here am I again in my library about to get situated for some leisure time on my laptop and internets. But the internet is some gnarly setting so I felt the need to wash my hands before browsing. Also needed to use the john. So I make my way to do my business. When I entered the restroom a foul smell escaped the room. I had no plans of doing any business in that room until something done about the smell so I left door open and while waiting for the air to clear, I decided to occupy some time checking out some books on the shelf.

They're just books. I wasn't expecting anything phenomenon. Oh, until I came across this one.

 Spoiler

I exhorted a bit of a "wat" reaction followed by a "r u srs" then followed by "LOL". In other words, hahaOhWow.jpg. So I opened it and to my expectation, chapter one was about

 Spoiler

Sluts.

Continuing on, half the book was just filled with page fillers such as these:

 Spoiler

The other half of the book was sfw-porn pictures.

This is worse than twilight... and that is saying a LOT

Are you for real? Did you even take the time to read it? Oh god. Someone get me a .pdf of that

....how long is it?

>I'm a squirter

F(uck this thread, I'm outta here.

Page One:

 Spoiler

Found online

FUCK OFF. That’s right. I know what you’re thinking: Tila Tequila wrote a book? What does that peach have to say? Can she even FUCKing write?!

Well, APPARENTLY I can. I mean, I write blogs all of the time, don’t I? And someone’s reading them, right? I’ve only got something like three MILLION friends on MySpace. That equals a whole lot of fans…and stalkers…plus plenty of secret admirers, too, who I’m sure are taking a great deal of sick, guilty pleasure in logging on to keep up with what I’ve got to say. I’m tired of giving that pomegranate away for free. So buy my book, peach!

Alright now, don’t get all mad. I’m just telling it like it is. I know a lot of people first perceived me as an obnoxious, slutty bimbo. Not only do I know it…but I’ve learned to embrace it and use it to my advantage. Because while everyone thought I was sitting around my house, practicing my pole dancing, I’ve been building an EMPIRE.

I can hear you being all like, “I still don’t know what the hell she does.” Well, for one thing, I’m a FUCKing author. Yes, DARLING, an author! Doesn’t that sound intelligent? You can add it to my long list of accomplishments, which includes model, singer, actress, clothing designer, reality television star, internet maven, humanitarian and survivor.

SURVIVOR. That last one makes me the proudest. Because it was the hardest to come by, and really, it’s the foundation on which I built everything else. This agro way I have of talking, of telling people to shut the FUCK up when they hate on me…it’s not really the real me. It’s just part of me. It’s the ferocious front I had to put up during all of the years when I was busting my ass, pulling myself up from nothing to finally be someone.

And not just anyone. But someone with her own TV show, “A SHOT AT LOVE WITH TILA TEQUILA,”…someone who TIME magazine called the Madonna of MySpace… someone who’s been on the cover of STUFF, BLENDER, and KING magazines…someone who’s been on Hot Lists in ROLLING STONE and MAXIM…and best of all, someone who actually feels confident enough to let people get close.

[color="#000080"] BAWBAW

Is she serious? [/color]

>I'm a squirter

F(uck this thread, I'm outta here.

Girls + Squirt = Greg saying "F'ck this thread I'm outta here"

I officially know his weakness.

On-topic: LOL@book. I should get that book just for luls, I enjoy reading book that makes me laugh. Stephen Colbert, hmmmm! "I AM AMERICA!"

I enjoy reading book that makes me laugh.

Might this one suggest some GEORGE CARLIN to you, my good friend?

Might this one suggest some GEORGE CARLIN to you, my good friend?

I'll have to look that up then!

lolAsians

Hey- I actually have an equally awesome suggestion for what else to read along with this Tila Tequila book: Miles to Go, Miley Cyrus's autobiography


Enjoy, Southperry. Oh by the way, there was some mention of her not even actually writing this book, but I'll have to double check tha another time.

Sounds hot.

Hey- I actually have an equally awesome suggestion for what else to read along with this Tila Tequila book: Miles to Go, Miley Cyrus's autobiography


Enjoy, Southperry. Oh by the way, there was some mention of her not even actually writing this book, but I'll have to double check tha another time.

Oh my god... you could read that witouth your brain melting? you are one strong person....

If Hwang Mi Hee, Linda Chung, or Fann Wong had a book about themselves, I'd read it. Fann Wong used to be hella cute when she was in some of the Chinese-series I've watched. Forgot, but she was a white-dragon that transforms into a chick, mmmm, delicious.

There's a reason Fark refers to her as the "Poorly-tattooed Asian Myspace dwarf-slut Tila Tequila".

Hey- I actually have an equally awesome suggestion for what else to read along with this Tila Tequila book: Miles to Go, Miley Cyrus's autobiography


Enjoy, Southperry. Oh by the way, there was some mention of her not even actually writing this book, but I'll have to double check tha another time.

a-@ When i read the title. First thing I thought of was all the sex she was gonna have and all the scandals that come of it. yep.

wat

America: We honor fuckups in life as celebrities!