If you can read this

so, ive got this thing, its on friday.
im supposed to go out with a girl from work to go roller skating.
problem is this: she's overly happy, to the point of annoyance.
and shes fat. shes not OMG ITS SHAMU fat, but still fat. and to add insult to injury, her last name starts with "moo."
i have nothing else planned for friday, and i want to get out of it.
advice?

Be a man.

Pull a muscle lifting, or fall in front of her and pretend a sprain for like 2 days. How did you get into this again?

and shes fat.

More cushion for pushin'
More lovin' in oven
etc etc

Learn to love some meat on your woman

Call her and tell her that you have Diarrhea. Works for me when I blow off on dates, I do it pretty often if I don't like the chick too much, or if I'm lazy.

Call her and tell her that you have Diarrhea. Works for me when I blow off on dates, I do it pretty often if I don't like the chick too much, or if I'm lazy.

But your two cases are different. In his case, he doesn't actually have diarrhea, while in your case you obviously have diarrhea -points to the pile of Roast on the ground-

Fake your own death?

[COLOR="Red"]

Fake your own death?

http://www.askmen.com/money/how_to_250/289_how_to.html[/COLOR]

But your two cases are different. In his case, he doesn't actually have diarrhea, while in your case you obviously have diarrhea -points to the pile of Roast on the ground-

Shush, you. Another way of blowing it off is to tell the chick that the he's busy studying, working, or ... he has to meet a relative that's a city away. -shrug-

How did you get into this again?

she and i go back and forth at work. its like, i know she has a thing for me, but i cant stand her. in my frustration at her saying pomegranate like "haha, youve got the social skills of a box of cat litter," when ive been improving my social skills, i just splurted out "ya know what ill prove i DO have social skills, damn it."

shes beyond annoying. there is no other way to put it. the fat thing is the secondary issue. shes a tab below average on the looks meter, and shes about 240 lbs, at least. i have no interest in her whatsoever, and frankly, wish i hadnt let her get on my nerves to such an extent. but ya know, ive been getting better at being social. ive worked hard at it, and im liking that its paying off. sure im still single and i dont see that changing any time soon thanks to my lack of a car, but still, that just broke my last straw man.

and GOD FORBID, anything even closely related to resembling a damn iota of and incling of sexual interest on my part?! ID SOONER CUT MY plantain OFF AND EAT IT, TURN GAY, AND WHORE MYSELF OUT FOR SKITTLES AND M&M'S BEFORE ID EVEN LET THOSE THOUGHTS CROSS MY IMAGINATION.

Be a man~
You must be swift as coursan river,
Be a man~
With all the force of a great typhoon
Be a man~
With all the strength of a ragin fire,
Mysterious as the dark side of the mooooooooooon!

Bring her to a lipo clinic and tell her that its buy one and get one free.

Be a man~
You must be swift as coursan river,
Be a man~
With all the force of a great typhoon
Be a man~
With all the strength of a ragin fire,
Mysterious as the dark side of the mooooooooooon!

pineapple you with your quoting of one of my favorite disney movies Mulan.

EDIT::
@above Cyadd post:
>implies that i am fat.
i am skinny. im actually a little underweight according to my BMI.

Tobias, this'll make you feel SO much better

[video=youtube;qz3rsxpMVAc]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qz3rsxpMVAc[/video]

 Spoiler

Listen to this song and imagine that chick transforming like Sailor Moon

Challenge her to a race. Do not stop until she's a weight you prefer.

Tobias, this'll make you feel SO much better

[video=youtube;qz3rsxpMVAc]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qz3rsxpMVAc[/video]

 Spoiler

Listen to this song and imagine that chick transforming like Sailor Moon

the thought bubble.
thats her.

and disregarding her weight, SHES NOT ATTRACTIVE, NEITHER PHYSICALLY NOR HER PERSONALITY.
i think ill just up and not show up. =s im already trying to get with a cute nerd type girl, but ive got to wait out til she's single again. and that the only days her, the cute-nerd, and i could hang out together. so far only tuesday is an option. i work all days but tuesday and friday, and shes got some club or some pomegranate on friday.

and this nerd girl, shes... AWESOME. cute voice, cute face, smart, cheerful but not overbearing personality, 34 B breasts (PERFECT size IMO(and i only know that because im good at gauging the size of a womans breasts by sight alone)), and she always has this smile that just looks so fucking happy. like... id probably have to strangle myself if i ever manage to go out with her, shes just that great a woman.
but alas, i am me.

the thought bubble.
thats her.

I lol'd

Check out dem titties.

34 B, you have taste, Tobi.

34 B, you have taste, Tobi.

and shes... roughly, 5'5". but im bad with height. shes probably only 90-ought pounds too.
shes fucking adorable. and whats bad, i dont want to be with her just to have sex, i want to hold her in my arms and just have her next to me. just...
i know who i am, and i know my luck with women is awful. im still going to try my damnedest, even despite we hardly ever get to see one another. just, i cant help but retreat back into my old mindset of "youre not good enough; shes out of your league; who'd want you;" etc etc etc. but damn it, SHES JUST TOO FUCKING CUTE!

and thank you. i do have taste in women, hence my dillema which prompted this thread.