The roast of Khoi

http://www.southperry.net/showthread.php?t=24183

Well, as you can see, our little princess of Southperry is fairly popular. Since Khoi can't make her own thread, I've taken the liberty of doing so myself. As Antithreads, I lack the wit to participate in such a thread.

With that, I bid you all adieu.

This is the lamest introduction I've seen in my life. This is so terrible, I wanted to shit vomit down my ass. Anyways, thanks for the post. :3 You guys may begin!

^Not meant to be taken srsly. k? Anyways, an example of a Roast for you SP'ers. If you can't do this shit right, SP, I've given up hope. I'm expecting to see witty-insults that doesn't utterly+annihilate the roastmaster (correct way), and not to see a bunch of flames and picture-posts (wrong way).

As I am the roastmaster, I have the right to disqualify roast-posts that are lame (pure flaming, picture posts, non-witty insults). :3 Have fun!

Moar helpful stuff: http://www.party411.com/roasts.html

-waits to see witty comments-

EDIT: I'll make a speech eventually too, so you guys can be sure to see one.
EDIT2: Looks like I was right, it's been 40 minutes. :3 No one here knows of any witty or sarcastic remarks they'd like to throw at me all in good jest? You disappoint me, SP. Everything from Spidey to Greg was all picture-postang, so none of you have any creativity? This is a sad day, indeed . . .


Moar:

[video=youtube;ZmoVKswuviE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZmoVKswuviE[/video]

Come on, SP, don't let me down. Here's another, just to help you guys! Even though Colbert hates Bush, and he roasted Bush (wrong way), he did a great speech, it's just that Bush = someone Colbert hated, which = is what made it wrong. ): Otherwise, would have been perfect!

[video=youtube;BSE_saVX_2A]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BSE_saVX_2A[/video]

More mults, Khoi?

More mults, Khoi?

Not mine, actually. I only have 1 mult, bro. :3

you suck so much at MH that you can't get to HR7 or above alone. That's like an insult to asians. I'm disappoint Pinkdrinkdrome.

you suck so much at MH that you can't get to HR7 or above alone. That's like an insult to asians. I'm disappoint Pinkdrinkdrome.

This is so good, so fcking good. -slurps Jager- Why can't you guys be like Rob? Look at this pro here, he's a PRIME example of how to do this RIGHT. GODDAMN

Oh, by the way, say hi to the tranny. We all like the join her on the train.

Oh, by the way, say hi to the tranny. We all like the join her on the train.

ROOOOOOOOFLLLLLLLLL ... xd

See, I got my point across.

See, I got my point across.

I wish people had the GUTS and BRAIN like you, Rob. GODDAMN. SP needs more of that shit. :3 -manhugs- MOAR INSULTS!

Do you like Phil Collins? I've been a big Genesis fan ever since I discovered their 1980 album, Duke. Before that, I really didn't understand any of their work. Too artsy, too intellectual. It was on Duke where Phil Collins' presence became more apparent. I think Invisible Touch was the group's undisputed masterpiece. It's an epic meditation on intangibility. At the same time, it deepens and enriches the meaning of the preceding three albums. Listen to the brilliant ensemble playing of Banks, Collins and Rutherford. You can practically hear every nuance of every instrument. In terms of lyrical craftsmanship, the sheer songwriting, this album hits a new peak of professionalism. Take the lyrics to Land of Confusion. In this song, Phil Collins addresses the problems of abusive political authority. In Too Deep is the most moving pop song of the 1980s, about monogamy and commitment. The song is extremely uplifting. Their lyrics are as positive and affirmative as anything I've heard in rock. Phil Collins' solo career seems to be more commercial and therefore more satisfying, in a narrower way. Especially songs like In the Air Tonight and Against All Odds. But I also think Phil Collins works best within the confines of the group, than as a solo artist, and I stress the word artist. This is Sussudio, a great, great song. A personal favorite.

 Spoiler

[video=youtube;YQBT89MFnS8]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQBT89MFnS8[/video]

Do you like Phil Collins? I've been a big Genesis fan ever since I discovered their 1980 album, Duke. Before that, I really didn't understand any of their work. Too artsy, too intellectual. It was on Duke where Phil Collins' presence became more apparent. I think Invisible Touch was the group's undisputed masterpiece. It's an epic meditation on intangibility. At the same time, it deepens and enriches the meaning of the preceding three albums. Listen to the brilliant ensemble playing of Banks, Collins and Rutherford. You can practically hear every nuance of every instrument. In terms of lyrical craftsmanship, the sheer songwriting, this album hits a new peak of professionalism. Take the lyrics to Land of Confusion. In this song, Phil Collins addresses the problems of abusive political authority. In Too Deep is the most moving pop song of the 1980s, about monogamy and commitment. The song is extremely uplifting. Their lyrics are as positive and affirmative as anything I've heard in rock. Phil Collins' solo career seems to be more commercial and therefore more satisfying, in a narrower way. Especially songs like In the Air Tonight and Against All Odds. But I also think Phil Collins works best within the confines of the group, than as a solo artist, and I stress the word artist. This is Sussudio, a great, great song. A personal favorite.

 Spoiler

[video=youtube;YQBT89MFnS8]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQBT89MFnS8[/video]

You're disqualified for being:

a) Queer
b) Has nothing to do with topic :3

Did you know that Whitney Houston's debut LP, called simply Whitney Houston had 4 number one singles on it? Did you know that, SP?

It's hard to choose a favorite among so many great tracks, but "The Greatest Love of All" is one of the best, most powerful songs ever written about self-preservation; dignity. Its universal message crosses all boundaries and instills one with the hope that it's not too late to better ourselves. Since it's impossible in this world we live in to empathize with others, we can always empathize with ourselves. It's an important message, crucial really. And it's beautifully stated on the album.

Wow guys, really? I mean, theres dozens more qualified people here, and the best of the best, the creme de la creme, isthis guy?

and you invited me of all people to speak? REALLY?! i dont know if i should be honored or if i should check my invite and see if i got someone elses.

Well, i dont really know what to say, guys. its a real honor to be here with all of you. theres Fiel over to the right. and of course, he's wearing a chinchilla fur coat. god, if he doesnt leave his house with that on id wager he feels naked. the man really loves the furry balls of fluff, and they dont taste that bad neither. i'm sure he can attest to that, cant'cha fiel?

Look, over there against the wall, its hyper. Hey hyper, didnt get invited to the party did you, or could you not figure out what a roast was after asking for 20 minutes straight. This guy, ill tell ya, if it werent tattooed on him i dont think he'd be able to tell what his arm was. but seriously, dont worry kid, theres nothing in here but a bunch of washed up nerds making fun of one another. Im sure you and darthmars are having fun outside. in the rain. with mark.

speaking of wash-ups; Combattante, where are you? I remember when you lost your favorite word. how derp of you. and tespia? Nexon went hurrrr derrrrr with that one too, didnt they? dont worry, im sure they'll re-open it once they get their heads outta their asses. but in the mean time, you can always amuse yourself looking at some silly ninja with two daggers.

and on that note, im brought to Spidey, who amuses herself by hoarding megabyte after megabyte of images. sure most of them are anime, but what'd you expect from someone learning moonspeak. (dont worry shikage, youre from the moon, so its okay for you to know the language.) Spidey, how's your room look, i have to wonder. do your walls have every nook and cranny filled with posters of anime guys in really suggestive poses, or are you the type to have shelves upon shelves of anime figurines, some still in their original packaging? Sure some think that everyone needs a hobby, but maybe those people didnt get out much either. of course i kid, everyone here loves this girl. who else has the ability to post an image to whatever is brought up to her? want to find a map of china, she'll have one with a pac-man dancing across it. girl's got a little bit of everything.

which bring me back to the man of the hour, khoi. Khoi, tell me, how long has it been since your last name change? last i knew you were kasuhitomi, then you went by Joker, now this Kawasari shit. Dude, are you a man or a woman? i know youre asian, but that you play a female character, thats just like baiting a dog with meat. and playing jigglypuff in super smash brothers? now i dont know if youve just got gender identity issues, or are just a closet papaya. at least youre a cool guy to hang around, when youre drunk. other times youre just as boring as sarah. i mean, how do you do it? its baffling how a closet tranny asian manages to get so popular. i feel like im being cranked or something, or im on some secret camera show or some other shit. next youre going to tell me that youve got a girlfriend. i think id have a heart attack, a girl actually wants you? thats something i just cant fathom. it just doesnt make sense. I mean, id think that shroum would have a better chance with the ladies than you. But somehow you make women fall for you. maybe its that confusing asian charm that lures them in, iuno. anyways, this is supposed to be your night, so enjoy it. have fun having your balls busted, drink and be merry.

now if youll excuse me, ive got perversion to go do.

Khoi is black.

Proof.

Khoi is black.

Proof.

That's Ben.

Wow guys, really? I mean, theres dozens more qualified people here, and the best of the best, the creme de la creme, isthis guy?

and you invited me of all people to speak? REALLY?! i dont know if i should be honored or if i should check my invite and see if i got someone elses.

Well, i dont really know what to say, guys. its a real honor to be here with all of you. theres Fiel over to the right. and of course, he's wearing a chinchilla fur coat. god, if he doesnt leave his house with that on id wager he feels naked. the man really loves the furry balls of fluff, and they dont taste that bad neither. i'm sure he can attest to that, cant'cha fiel?

Look, over there against the wall, its hyper. Hey hyper, didnt get invited to the party did you, or could you not figure out what a roast was after asking for 20 minutes straight. This guy, ill tell ya, if it werent tattooed on him i dont think he'd be able to tell what his arm was. but seriously, dont worry kid, theres nothing in here but a bunch of washed up nerds making fun of one another. Im sure you and darthmars are having fun outside. in the rain. with mark.

speaking of wash-ups; Combattante, where are you? I remember when you lost your favorite word. how derp of you. and tespia? Nexon went hurrrr derrrrr with that one too, didnt they? dont worry, im sure they'll re-open it once they get their heads outta their asses. but in the mean time, you can always amuse yourself looking at some silly ninja with two daggers.

and on that note, im brought to Spidey, who amuses herself by hoarding megabyte after megabyte of images. sure most of them are anime, but what'd you expect from someone learning moonspeak. (dont worry shikage, youre from the moon, so its okay for you to know the language.) Spidey, how's your room look, i have to wonder. do your walls have every nook and cranny filled with posters of anime guys in really suggestive poses, or are you the type to have shelves upon shelves of anime figurines, some still in their original packaging? Sure some think that everyone needs a hobby, but maybe those people didnt get out much either. of course i kid, everyone here loves this girl. who else has the ability to post an image to whatever is brought up to her? want to find a map of china, she'll have one with a pac-man dancing across it. girl's got a little bit of everything.

which bring me back to the man of the hour, khoi. Khoi, tell me, how long has it been since your last name change? last i knew you were kasuhitomi, then you went by Joker, now this Kawasari shit. Dude, are you a man or a woman? i know youre asian, but that you play a female character, thats just like baiting a dog with meat. and playing jigglypuff in super smash brothers? now i dont know if youve just got gender identity issues, or are just a closet papaya. at least youre a cool guy to hang around, when youre drunk. other times youre just as boring as sarah. i mean, how do you do it? its baffling how a closet tranny asian manages to get so popular. i feel like im being cranked or something, or im on some secret camera show or some other shit. next youre going to tell me that youve got a girlfriend. i think id have a heart attack, a girl actually wants you? thats something i just cant fathom. it just doesnt make sense. I mean, id think that shroum would have a better chance with the ladies than you. But somehow you make women fall for you. maybe its that confusing asian charm that lures them in, iuno. anyways, this is supposed to be your night, so enjoy it. have fun having your balls busted, drink and be merry.

now if youll excuse me, ive got perversion to go do.

. . . . . .

-laughs- OH. MY. GOD. LIKE OHMYGOD. OMG. OH MY GOD. I think I laughed so hard, my plantain started hurting.

There are no more barriers to cross. All I have in common with the uncontrollable and the insane, the vicious and the evil, all the mayhem I have caused and my utter indifference toward it I have now surpassed. My pain is constant and sharp and I do not hope for a better world for anyone, in fact I want my pain to be inflicted on others. I want no one to escape, but even after admitting this there is no catharsis, my punishment continues to elude me and I gain no deeper knowledge of myself; no new knowledge can be extracted from my telling. This confession has meant nothing.

I have all the characteristics of a human being: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don't know why. My nightly bloodlust has overflown into my days. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy. I think my mask of sanity is about to slip.

I have all the characteristics of a human being: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don't know why. My nightly bloodlust has overflown into my days. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy. I think my mask of sanity is about to slip.

There is an idea of a Patrick Bateman; some kind of abstraction. But there is no real me: only an entity, something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable... I simply am not there.