wat

You're describing yourself, you know that, right? srsbsns

Reported for trolling.

also lmao @ you being the one talking about serious business.

Cat fight.

Reported for trolling.

also lmao @ you being the one talking about serious business.

No, it's only srsbsns (aka down and dirty) when I have a Gamecube controller in my dirty little Asian hands, as I DO THINGS WITH IT as I play a competitive SSBM match. Seriously.

I... I don't... wha...

YOU WIN THIS TIME, KHOI.

I... I don't... wha...

YOU WIN THIS TIME, KHOI.

..What? I'm serious. I'm not joking. I do things with it as I twiddle my THUMBS ONTO THE ANALOG STICK, SHIFTING LEFT AND RIGHT LIKE A CARSHIFT STICK RAPIIIIIDLY as I dashdance with my Jiggs. I was being descriptive. Did I scare you? ): I'm sowwwwyyyyy

..What? I'm serious. I'm not joking. I do things with it as I twiddle my THUMBS ONTO THE ANALOG STICK, SHIFTING LEFT AND RIGHT LIKE A CARSHIFT STICK RAPIIIIIDLY as I dashdance with my Jiggs. I was being descriptive. Did I scare you? ): I'm sowwwwyyyyy

Typical Asian.

Awww damn!

Bitch fight!

No, it's only ______ (aka down and dirty) when I have a _____________ in my dirty little Asian hands, as I DO THINGS WITH IT as I play _______________ Seriously.

Accidentally a what?

Typical Asian.

Yes, I am.

that was laggy as hell.

A little old lady answered her doorbell and saw a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.


"Good morning," said the young man. "If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners."


"Go away!" said the old lady. "I haven't got any money!"


As she closed the door, the young man quickly wedged his foot in the door and pushed it open.


"Don't be too hasty!" he said. "Not until you have at least seen my demonstration."


And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her hallway carpet.


"If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, ma'am, I will personally eat the remainder."


The old lady stepped back and said, "Well I hope you've got a damned good appetite, because they cut off my electricity this morning."

Why are you people acting like you're on the internet?

Who keeps fucking with my pomegranate.

What's the worst part of being a black jew?

You have to sit in the back of the oven.

What's the worst part of being a black jew?

You have to sit in the back of the oven.

ZING

©

BA DA BUM CHI

Late one night a drunk guy is showing some friends around his brand-new apartment.

The last stop is the bedroom, where a big brass gong sits next to the bed.
"What's that gong for?" the friend asks him.

"It's not a gong," the drunk replies. "It's actually a talking clock."

"You're crazy. Show me how it works then!"

The guy picks up a hammer, gives the gong an ear-shattering pound, and steps back.
Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screams, "For God’s sake…it's 3:30 in the goddamn morning!"

One Friday evening after Superman finished up his last mission to help better society, he decided to enjoy himself and wanted to call up some friends to go clubbing with.

He calls up Spiderman to see if he wants to join in. "Hey Spidey, wanna go out to a club? Drink a few brews?" Spiderman responded, "Sorry bro, gotta recharge my webs and what not. Maybe next weekend!"

Superman hangs up and calls up The Hulk. "Hey Hulk, you busy tonight? Maybe wanna go relax at a club or something?"

"Sorry man gotta go clothes shopping, went through all my shirts this week. Next weekend for sure!"

So Superman gave up and decided he would go by himself, and went off to find a good spot. On his way there, he sees Wonder Woman in a room alone. He decided to have a little fun and thinks to himself "Hmm.. I'm gonna go in there, f'uck her in the ass, and fly out. She won't even see it coming!"

Superman makes his move, flies at super speed into the room, does his thing, and flies right out. He goes far away and uses his super vision to see what her reaction is. He notices she has a confused stare.. So he uses his super hearing to see if she says anything.

"Invisible man? Was that you? What was that?!"

"I don't know, but my ass hurts"

 Spoiler

One Friday evening after Superman finished up his last mission to help better society, he decided to enjoy himself and wanted to call up some friends to go clubbing with.

He calls up Spiderman to see if he wants to join in. "Hey Spidey, wanna go out to a club? Drink a few brews?" Spiderman responded, "Sorry bro, gotta recharge my webs and what not. Maybe next weekend!"

Superman hangs up and calls up The Hulk. "Hey Hulk, you busy tonight? Maybe wanna go relax at a club or something?"

"Sorry man gotta go clothes shopping, went through all my shirts this week. Next weekend for sure!"

So Superman gave up and decided he would go by himself, and went off to find a good spot. On his way there, he sees Wonder Woman in a room alone. He decided to have a little fun and thinks to himself "Hmm.. I'm gonna go in there, f'uck her in the ass, and fly out. She won't even see it coming!"

Superman makes his move, flies at super speed into the room, does his thing, and flies right out. He goes far away and uses his super vision to see what her reaction is. He notices she has a confused stare.. So he uses his super hearing to see if she says anything.

"Invisible man? Was that you? What was that?!"

"I don't know, but my ass hurts"

BAHAHA! just imagining supermans face after that one

On a beautiful deserted island in the middle of nowhere, the following people are stranded:

• Two Italian men and one Italian woman
  
• Two French men and one French woman
  
• Two German men and one German woman
  
• Two Greek men and one Greek woman
  
• Two English men and one English woman
  
• Two Polish men and one Polish woman
  
• Two Japanese men and one Japanese woman
  
• Two American men and one American woman
  
• Two Indian men and one Indian woman
  
• Two New Zealand men and one New Zealand woman
  
• Two Irish men and one Irish woman

One month later the following things have occurred:

• One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.
  
• The two French men and the French woman are living happily together having loads of sex.
  
• The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of when they alternate with the German woman.
  
• The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them.
  
• The two English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman.
  
• The two Polish men took a long look at the endless ocean and one look at the Polish woman and they started swimming.
  
• The two American men are contemplating the virtues of suicide, while the American woman keeps on bit...ing about her body being her own, the true nature of feminism, how she can do everything that they can do, about the necessity of fulfillment, the equal division of household chores, how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her much nicer and how her relationship with her mother is improving - but at least the taxes are low and it's not raining.
  
• The two Japanese men have faxed Tokyo and are waiting for further instructions.
  
• The two Indian men beat each other senselessly for the Indian woman, who sat on the floor with head down and smiling.
  
• Both the New Zealand men are searching the island for sheep.
  
• The Irish began by dividing the island into North and South and by setting up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it gets sort of foggy after the first few bottles of coconut whisky, but they are satisfied in that at least the English are not getting any.