SouthPerry, i will take the plunge

Saying you have to read Twilight to determine it's $hit is like saying you have to dip your nose in $hit to determine that it smells bad. When roughly 15 million people have already said it's $hit, you can practically smell the horrid writing from the bookshelf. I concur with the others. Don't do it, for the sake of all that is good and holy.

But a lot of people like it too.....

How to read twilight:

Step 1 - Open the book
Step 2 - Bang your head on a wall, any wall will do.
Step 3 - Drink from a toilet.
Step 4 - Walk outside and beat yourself against a tree.
Step 5 - Close the book.
Step 6 - Congratulations, you've just read the contents of Twilight.

Saying you have to read Twilight to determine it's $hit is like saying you have to dip your nose in $hit to determine that it smells bad. When roughly 15 million people have already said it's $hit, you can practically smell the horrid writing from the bookshelf. I concur with the others. Don't do it, for the sake of all that is good and holy.

until it can be at first hand known, all facts are theories and opinions.

Spectacle* Excuse my typos, 99% of my forum viewing is done on my iPod without spell check

It's not so much just this thread. TS just has a tendency to try and draw as much attention to himself as he possibly can. It's just annoying to me =/

On the topic of the book:
I thought it was poorly written and wasn't something I enjoyed reading. I was forced by my (ex)girlfriend at the time to read it, because she was sooooooo fascinated by this "Edward" character. Made me want to gag. Later worsened when my Junior English teacher (a 5x year old pudgey woman with red hair. Honestly, she was the epitomy of an Oompa Loompa) put a big ass poster of him at the front of the class; I sat right in front of it. Did not like.

well... *ahem*
yeah, wont deny this was a ploy to grab attention to myself, but other than this and the, what, 2~4 other threads ive made in the funhouse, not really my intent. its just i dont really do much on the internet, so, my site list repertoire is rather slim.

Number of Pages in the Book: 498
The First Hint of a Plot that Is Not Bella and Edward's Romance: page 328
When the Plot Actually Arrives: page 372

Boys that Totally Love Bella (Including Edward Cullen): 5

Approximate Amount of Time Bella and Edward are Romantically Involved Before Bella Is Begging Edward to Turn Her into a Vampire so They Can Be Together Forever: Like, two weeks. Maybe three. The timeline's a bit fuzzy.

References to Edward's Beauty: 165

Broken Down into the following categories -

• Face: 24 (Favorite adjectives: glorious, heavenly, seraphic)
  
• Voice: 20 (The voice of an archangel, donchaknow.)
  
• Eyes: 17
  
• Movement: 11
  
• Smile: 10
  
• Teeth: 8
  
• Muscles: 7
  
• Skin: 7 (Note: This only contains accounts of Edward's skin being beautiful. I didn't count references to it as "pale," "cold," or "white." If I had, this number would be about ten times larger.)
  
• Iron Strength or Limbs: 5
  
• Breath: 4 (EVEN HIS BREATH IS AMAZING.)
  
• Scent: 4
  
• Laughter: 3
  
• Handwriting: 2
  
• Chest: 2
  
• Driving Skills: 1
  

The Number of Times...

• Bella Is Clumsy or Makes a Reference to Her Clumsiness: 26
  
• Bella Sneers at Forks or Its Inhabitants: 22
  
• Bella is "Dazzled" or Rendered Speechless by Edward's Beauty or Touch: 17
  
• Edward Tells Bella to Stay Away from Him While Completely Contradicting Himself with His Behavior: 16
  
• Bella is Utterly Desolate at Edward's Absence: 12
  
• Edward and Bella Kiss: 8
  o Bella's Hormones Get the Better of Her and She Attacks Edward, Almost Causing Him to Eat Her: 2 (She's not even allowed to kiss him back! Where's the fun in that?)
  o Edward's Kiss Makes Bella Faint: 1
  o Edward's Kiss Makes Bella's Heart Literally Stop: 1
  
• Bella Thinks She Isn't Good Enough for Edward: 6
  
• Edward Is Referred to As Godlike: 5 (Note: This number might be off, as I didn't start counting until three or four mentions in.)
  
• Edward Tells Bella She's Unnatural: 5
  
• Edward Sparkles: 3
  
• Bella is in Mortal Danger: 3
  o Edward Saves Bella from Mortal Danger: 3
  
• Edward Stalks Bella, For Real: 2 (Note: One of these instances involves watching her sleep every night for, like, months.)
  
• Bella says "Holy Crow!": 2
  
• Bella and Edward Argue About Who Loves the Other Most: 1
  
• Edward's Inability to Read Bella's Mind is Explained: 0
  

I would have kept track of how many times Edward's mood shifts unexpectedly and for no reason, but I didn't have that much paper. I am sad, though, that I didn't keep track of how many times words like "granite," "stone," and "marble" are used in reference to Edward. His arms, his lips. Explain to me how kissing cold, marble lips is at all appealing. And yet it makes Bella faint. I give up.

...holy crow, thats quite a list.

but yes, ive seen and heard, and even enjoyed some of the debates over the book. but, if i could struggle through The List of Seven and enjoy it after the half-way point, then theres a chance that i can struggle through any parts of this book that are, well... eh.
seriously though, List of 7 was good. serial killer that goes by the pseudonym Maxamillion Graves was what stood out and continues to stand out for me, and that the main character gets thrust into a situation beyond his control, that all started with a single dinner invitation, and that the guy thats helps the main character is a drug addict helps too.

Yeah, well flies seem pretty fond of shit, doesn't mean it's good.

A lot of people don't like vegetables, it doesn't mean they're bad.

Yeah to be honest, I gave it a chance, it wasn't up to my taste but to be as cruel as to say its the worst book over is a tad overboard dont ya think? It is this generations harry potter (which were actually good books, I just lost interest).

It's a good book for 14-16, thats the general fan base. And also for people just diving into vampire fad, it's like Underworld for kiddies. It's also a more womenly book considering it has a lot more romance.

I mean yeah, everyone has a right to their opinion but doesn't mean you have to declare it as garbage lol.

Yeah to be honest, I gave it a chance, it wasn't up to my taste but to be as cruel as to say its the worst book over is a tad overboard dont ya think? It is this generations harry potter (which were actually good books, I just lost interest).

It's a good book for 14-16, thats the general fan base. And also for people just diving into vampire fad, it's like Underworld for kiddies. It's also a more womenly book considering it has a lot more romance.

I mean yeah, everyone has a right to their opinion but doesn't mean you have to declare it as garbage lol.

When you are using cheesy vampire-human romance as a main plot, everything lost credibility all of a sudden.

It's a good book for 14-16, thats the general fan base.

About a decade ago, 14-16 year old girls were squeeing over N'Sync and Backstreet Boys; about a month ago 14-16 year girls were squeeing over Edward Cullen in exactly the same way.

It's true: stupidity never gets old. It also never gets original, but then, that's what makes it stupid.

But you're gay.


[SIZE="1"]jk jk[/SIZE]

I'm gay,
and I hate it.
Except Taylor Lautner, he's pretty cute.

EDIT: oh I see the jkjk now..

I'm gay,
and I hate it.
Except Taylor Lautner, he's pretty cute.

EDIT: oh I see the jkjk now..

jkjk

don't be a f'ag Glover :3

Toobad, I am.

You're literally and literaturely(lolwut) committing suicide by reading this.

Good luck, sir.

So... did you die yet?

[SIZE="7"]Dumbledore dies on pg 596[/SIZE]

Yeah, well flies seem pretty fond of shit, doesn't mean it's good.

A lot of people don't like vegetables, it doesn't mean they're bad.

Can't you guys argument in a better way? You cannot apply the comparisons you guys are making here.

A better comparison for BOTH of you are the following:
Yeah, well Christians seem pretty fond of the Bible, doesn't mean it's good.

A lot of people don't like the Calculus-book, it doesn't mean it's bad.

Keep a note that the upper argument holds better (still bad though) than the lower. The book is for enjoyment, and carrots or Calculus-books aren't for enjoyment. They are for staying healthy and getting a job. The Bible isn't really for enjoyment either, though I'm not sure whether salvation's closer to enjoyment than staying healthy.

Don't base arguments on comparison.

Can't you guys argument in a better way? You cannot apply the comparisons you guys are making here.

A better comparison for BOTH of you are the following:
Yeah, well Christians seem pretty fond of the Bible, doesn't mean it's good.

A lot of people don't like the Calculus-book, it doesn't mean it's bad.

Keep a note that the upper argument holds better (still bad though) than the lower. The book is for enjoyment, and carrots or Calculus-books aren't for enjoyment. They are for staying healthy and getting a job. The Bible isn't really for enjoyment either, though I'm not sure whether salvation's closer to enjoyment than staying healthy.

Don't base arguments on comparison.

I don't think either one of us were taking the argument seriously enough to actually build up on it logically.

I don't think either one of us were taking the argument seriously enough to actually build up on it logically.

This is the funhouse mang.

See you on the other side. I won't be joining you soon.

The obsession of girls I know with a fictional book character is