Greetings, dearest Southperry

Sweet Southperry, hello again, this is President Cardinell. I’d like to have a chat. When I was a child, growing up in rural Kentucky, I had the best friend a boy could hope for. My dear old dog, Honey. Oh ho ho, the adventures we had. From Knob Creek to Hodgenville we roamed, carefree and courageous. Irresponsible, and completely inseparable. It was, for a little boy, the perfect existence. So, let me ask you, Southperry; How many of your children can say the same? How many of this forum's youth are truly happy, truly carefree? Well, we both know the answer, don’t we? None. Southperry’s children live in a terrifying, meaningless existence. There is no hope, no happiness. That changes, right here, right now! From this moment onward, the children of this great forum are its highest priority. The Funhouse will restore every Southperrian school, reinstate every youth program, and offer counseling and financial assistance to any family in need. We will match up the destitute orphan children of Southperry with qualified, eligible adults. We will rebuild the Funhouse family. As it was, as it was meant to be. The values of our past shall be the foundation of our future. We’ve got to part now, you and I, but don’t be sad America. The Perry is working tirelessly, to rebuild this great forum, so you don’t have to. Until we meet again, this is President Cardinell, signing off.

God Speed good Sir!

So which thread on 4chan did you copy this from?

^ lol

k back to cutting

President Cornell! I iz from magzine.

How do you plan on teaching our children about Leto?

I play with my dog, and I'm happy. Your facts are wrong?

y so srs?

shut up, greg.

tg;dr

Ill help with funding. Heres five dollars!

shut up ala

shut up ala

shut up greg

shut up xBTAx

SHUT UP SAM!!!

c

SHUT UP CREWE!!! d=

Hello again Southperry, this is Gregory Henry Cardinell, your president. There are some things we should talk about, if that’s alright. I’ve been thinking quite a bit lately about something we can all relate to. Something that is, unquestionably, inescapably, American. I am referring of course, to our great national pastime, baseball. Or so it had been. That’s right Southperry, before we were devastated by atomic forum war, each forum had it’s own professional baseball team. Imagine, a perfect, cloudless day, the sun is warm, welcoming. And on the horizon they appear. Like knights of yore, armed with bats of ash and hickory. Their name, the Southperrian Swingers, their purpose, to make you, dear Southperry, revel in the joys of sport and sunshine. If only for an afternoon. Now, ask yourself this. What if the Southperrian Swingers could live again? What if they could compete with baseball teams from Basil or Sleepywood? Put your faith in Gregory Henry Cardinell, great Southperry, and baseball will live again. Comfort, recreation, healthy competition. All will live again. This forum will live again. But for now, my Southperry, we must part. Restoring the greatest forum in the world to its former glory, well, huh huh, well that takes time, even for the Funhouse. Until we meet again, this is Gregory Henry Cardinell, signing off.

If your second name is henry i lol'd

When I was

the Southperrian Swingers

now we do sexual intercourses? wt'f