Changing names

Just pondering.
Me and my girlfriend were talking about the future, you know, marriage, kids, career goals, the whole package. Anyway, she mentioned to me that she didn't want to change her name after she got married. In fact, she made it very clear that she would NOT change it, ever. Now, we weren't talking about US getting married. Just in general. Perhaps it's just her, perhaps it can be extended to Viet/Asian women in general, I don't know, but it was odd to me. I didn't think you could choose not to change your name.



Do fellow Southperrian females plan on changing their name when they get married or if you are married, did you? Males; discuss(?).

Ohyah btw, her last name is Nguyen. Further confusing since it's such a common name...wouldn't you want to change it? :f6: Could be wrong.

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Particularly common with only children (to keep family name going), rich women (to keep their status) or highly independent women, but nothing wrong with it. The common argument goes something like "well why don't men have to change their name?"

I'd personally just as soon create a whole new last name if such an argument were to come up. And yes, you can opt not to.[/COLOR]

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Particularly common with only children (to keep family name going), rich women (to keep their status) or highly independent women, but nothing wrong with it. The common argument goes something like "well why don't men have to change their name?"

I'd personally just as soon create a whole new last name if such an argument were to come up. And yes, you can opt not to.[/COLOR]

She's not an only child, and definitely not the status. It's either a matter of independence or sheer pride. I suppose a little bit of both, though she's never been so assertively independent about anything before.

Can men not change their names? That'd be interesting. Levi Nguyen. I'm not even Asian. I doubt I'd be allowed to by her anyway. But the whole new last name thing strikes me. You can do these things!?

Thing is, I see myself feeling bad for arguing with her, because I'd want my wife to take on my last name. Or me hers. Or your suggestion if that's even possible.

Make a combination of both of your last names.

Make a combination of both of your last names.

Doolin
Nguyen +
---------
= Ngulin. :<
& Dooyen.

LOL. :]

Doolin
Nguyen +
---------
= Ngulin. :<
& Dooyen.

LOL. :]

Yenlin, Linyen, Ngudoo, Doongu.

There's no reason to want her to take your last name other than a sense of ownership, as harsh as that may sound - it's a control/dominance thing. What does it change in your life or relationship if her last name isn't changed to yours? You love her as Nguyen now, I don't see why you wouldn't afterwards. If it matters that much to her, don't press the issue, as it really shouldn't be such a big deal to you. I agree with the above suggestion of combining names as a nice compromise, but it's also possible to keep your original names without changing either. I've known friends of my parents who have done just that.

Doolin
Nguyen +
---------
= Ngulin. :<
& Dooyen.

LOL. :]

Most people hyphenate it...so Nyguyen-Doolin or Doolin-Nyguyen.

You both could have a completely different name together, too...

There's no reason to want her to take your last name other than a sense of ownership, as harsh as that may sound - it's a control/dominance thing. What does it change in your life or relationship if her last name isn't changed to yours? You love her as Nguyen now, I don't see why you wouldn't afterwards. If it matters that much to her, don't press the issue, as it really shouldn't be such a big deal to you. I agree with the above suggestion of combining names as a nice compromise, but it's also possible to keep your original names without changing either. I've known friends of my parents who have done just that.

I'd see it more as a sign of union, a sign that you're ready to start a new family/life with that person.

I didn't press it, and I won't, because if she's really that assertive about it, I'm not going to win.

Women.

CoB, yep, my mom's name is hyphenated. Thought about it. There is plenty of options, anywho.
P.S. - You typo'd Nguyen.

^lern2spellnguyen

And uh. I dunno; I guess it's kinda customary for Asians. My mom kept her maiden name. I don't know what there's to be assertive about, though.

^lern2spellnguyen

And uh. I dunno; I guess it's kinda customary for Asians. My mom kept her maiden name. I don't know what there's to be assertive about, though.

Is that it? It doesn't really surprise me, I suppose. Just another seemingly-unknown customary thing that I...didn't know.

Surprise surprise. .

I'd see it more as a sign of union, a sign that you're ready to start a new family/life with that person.

I didn't press it, and I won't, because if she's really that assertive about it, I'm not going to win.

Women.

CoB, yep, my mom's name is hyphenated. Thought about it. There is plenty of options, anywho.
P.S. - You typo'd Nguyen.

Union would be if you combined names. Wanting her to take your name is more of a dominance situation.

Union would be if you combined names. Wanting her to take your name is more of a dominance situation.

Is it? I would gladly take hers.
Maybe unity/union is a bad word, but I'm at a loss for synonyms.

It's a matter of tradition (though rather unspoken) and pride.
None of the women in my family changed their last name when they got married. My parents just happened to have the same last name. The children would take on the name of the father's.
Pride...Well, despite Nguyen being a very common last name, I like it. It's what I grew up as, what I'm known as. I rather not change it.

BTW, hyphenating would make my name longer than it already is...And my first name is already hyphenated. XD
Not quite sure what I think about that as of now.

Is that it? It doesn't really surprise me, I suppose. Just another seemingly-unknown customary thing that I...didn't know.

Surprise surprise. .

Lol.
Buddy, you've got a lot to know about Vietnamese customs.
Don't worry, you'll get the hang of us women sooner of later.

It's a matter of tradition (though rather unspoken) and pride.
None of the women in my family changed their last name when they got married. My parents just happened to have the same last name. The children would take on the name of the father's.
Pride...Well, despite Nguyen being a very common last name, I like it. It's what I grew up as, what I'm known as. I rather not change it.

I'm guessing (sorta, lol), that they married Asian men who knew that before going into it. I've never seen it before. You're talking about a clash of cultures here, and when that happens, who wins? I'm liking compromise better than simple this way or that.

Lol, hi Helen and Phuong. Thread stalkers.

@Helen: I learn something new in that department like EVERY day. Tsk tsk, such a hassle.

I'm guessing (sorta, lol), that they married Asian men who knew that before going into it. I've never seen it before. You're talking about a clash of cultures here, and when that happens, who wins? I'm liking compromise better than simple this way or that.

Lol, hi Helen and Phuong. Thread stalkers.

@Helen: I learn something new in that department like EVERY day. Tsk tsk, such a hassle.

You showed me the thread, so shaddup.

You showed me the thread, so shaddup.

Fine. Phuong only. Silly girl. .

Your signature is ballin'.

Oh lookie! Viet women here to educate you. :]
Just kidding.
And you're the one saying you're talking about me, AGAIN. And I KNOW you go on here all the time so it wasn't hard to figure out.

It's not like everyone does it. Most people actually do change it. Or they do change it but they still refer to themselves in their maiden name.
Hyphenated would probably turn out to be Nguyen-Doolin...
Minh-Phuong Nguyen-Doolin? o.o lmao.

Oh lookie! Viet women here to educate you. :]
Just kidding.
And you're the one saying you're talking about me, AGAIN. And I KNOW you go on here all the time so it wasn't hard to figure out.

It's not like everyone does it. Most people actually do change it. Or they do change it but they still refer to themselves in their maiden name.
Hyphenated would probably turn out to be Nguyen-Doolin...
Minh-Phuong Nguyen-Doolin? o.o lmao.

Why just kidding, HUH? Apparently, there ARE Viet girls here to put my face in the book. :f6:. Still a stalker. You found it without my help!

That's a cool name. I wanna change my first name from Devin to Levi. Seriously.
Why can't men just change theirs?