Leadership application

Hi, I need help on ending my application essay for Leadership*
*Leadership=a class available at my school for Juniors/Seniors where you basically pretty much do nothing. Well you do stuff like help with organization of events at school, etc etc. You have to write an essay on WHY you MUST be in Leadership.
Topic: Why MUST you be in Leadership?
My response:
Some people figure out what they want to do with their life at an early age. I thought I was one of those people. My father is a doctor so I figured I, too, would be a doctor. But as life went on I wasn't content with being just a doctor. I wanted to do other things. In the eight grade I realized I had some natural gift for politics and history. I wasn't able to figure out what it was about me that just knew things happening in our society, and to be honest I still do not know. After that point in my life I had decided to do something in politics, but I also didn't want to disappoint my family and myself and not follow my father's footsteps. I was at a crossroads and did not know which path to take. It wasn't till my short lived life in AP European History that I discovered what a Renaissance man was. I figured I could be a doctor and a politician. I could do the two passions in my life. Politics and medicine might seem like two completely different careers but they share two distinct similarities. They both help the communities they work in and they both require leadership skills. Both demand the questioning of the choices they make. Both require making hard decisions while under pressure. Skills such as these are ones that should be learned early in life...
...And that is all I got. I don't really know how to end it. I figure that is a good place to end the essay. Any suggestions?

good start kigaz, i see you have been thinking a lot about what your strengths and weaknesses are, and also what leadership means.

there's a lot of ways you can write a leadership application and what works for one person might not work for someone else. usually what school leaders and reviewers reading your application are looking for is evidence that you have good management and organisational skills, and will also keep your reputation around school in mind (i can't tell if you are actually applying for a leadership position or if this is just a class essay?)

you could also try putting in some brief, clear sentences about some of the following:
- a specific event that you helped to succeed, eg "I was an organiser for my sister's surprise birthday party which required managing 50 people without letting her know, and booking and paying for a venue."
- what in your chosen career reflects a leadership attribute in you, eg "medicine on acute wards. Human injury and health is complex. Provided I have the knowledge, I am able to quickly analyse a situation and immediately see what is the most important thing that needs to be done. This is a quality in an effective leader."
- what your peers think of you. "I am well known around the school for being amiable and approachable. I am acquainted with students from a variety of year levels."

is that the sort of thing you are looking for?

some people might comment that a lot of what you have written is "unnecessary." this is just a way of saying that there are important strands in your thoughts that you still need to tease out.

we never had a leadership class in our school - or maybe i just missed out!

good start kigaz, i see you have been thinking a lot about what your strengths and weaknesses are, and also what leadership means.

there's a lot of ways you can write a leadership application and what works for one person might not work for someone else. usually what school leaders and reviewers reading your application are looking for is evidence that you have good management and organisational skills, and will also keep your reputation around school in mind (i can't tell if you are actually applying for a leadership position or if this is just a class essay?)

you could also try putting in some brief, clear sentences about some of the following:
- a specific event that you helped to succeed, eg "I was an organiser for my sister's surprise birthday party which required managing 50 people without letting her know, and booking and paying for a venue."
- what in your chosen career reflects a leadership attribute in you, eg "medicine on acute wards. Human injury and health is complex. Provided I have the knowledge, I am able to quickly analyse a situation and immediately see what is the most important thing that needs to be done. This is a quality in an effective leader."
- what your peers think of you. "I am well known around the school for being amiable and approachable. I am acquainted with students from a variety of year levels."

is that the sort of thing you are looking for?

some people might comment that a lot of what you have written is "unnecessary." this is just a way of saying that there are important strands in your thoughts that you still need to tease out.

we never had a leadership class in our school - or maybe i just missed out!

Thanks and I appreciate your reply. The essay isn't for an actual position (like, in a job) but just to be in the class. There really isn't any "leadership" in leadership. Theres no real management needed (as you suggested in your 1st example). I dont really think I have any "attributes" that would suggest one of my careers, what I mean by that is that I don't really think I have any outgoing skills that would point me in the direction of a career. I really just want to help people. My peers suggest I do something in politics. I don't really want to bring my peers into this, I dont want to come off as if im self-centered.

I'm thinking of an ending sentence like this..
"Skills such as these are ones that should be learned early in life, and skills such as these are the ones most vital to me."

Leadership=a class available at my school for Juniors/Seniors where you basically pretty much do nothing. Well you do stuff like help with organization of events at school, etc etc. You have to write an essay on WHY you MUST be in Leadership.

Sounds fantastic. Just for humors sake, can you please tell us why you need to be in this club? Is it because you want to add another notch on your resume so you have a higher chance of getting into an Ivy League school? Because if you pretty much do nothing, there's a thousand other ways to show community service besides being a member of some cheesy student government club.

Some people figure out what they want to do with their life at an early age. I thought I was one of those people. My father is a doctor so I figured I, too, would be a doctor. But as life went on I wasn't content with being just a doctor. I wanted to do other things.

The HELL? You're already thinking about future professions this early? Have you already had a mid-life crisis? Do you have a wife and kids? Are you already a father? So let's see what "other things" you wanted to do...

In the eight grade I realized I had some natural gift for politics and history.

My dear Kigaz. When science majors at any University get axed by Organic Chemistry, a majority of them go into politics or history majors. You usually never hear about a politics/history major getting axed by "Socratic Literature" and suddenly choosing to become a science major.

I wasn't able to figure out what it was about me that just knew things happening in our society, and to be honest I still do not know.

You don't know how you gained these incredible super powers to read the news, to browse the BBC, to read the New York Times, to talk to your friends, or to mingle with your teachers? Kigaz, it all stems from the heart of the cards.

After that point in my life I had decided to do something in politics, but I also didn't want to disappoint my family and myself and not follow my father's footsteps.

Dear whoever is reading this. I am not ready to stand up for myself yet. I still have to follow my parents and the direction they show me in life. I'm just a confused teenager who loves his parents and tries to make it through my classes like everyone else.

I was at a crossroads and did not know which path to take. It wasn't till my short lived life in AP European History that I discovered what a Renaissance man was.

HOLY CRAP. YOU HAD TO LEARN THAT IN AP EURO? What the hell is wrong with the K-12 education system these days? Holy crap!

I figured I could be a doctor and a politician. I could do the two passions in my life. Politics and medicine might seem like two completely different careers but they share two distinct similarities. They both help the communities they work in and they both require leadership skills.

Yes, yes. Lawyers help themselves by suing doctors and shoving high premiums down their necks while doctors have to bend over and pay high malpractice bills. It's not enough that doctors throw away the best years of their life and get out when they're 35 just in order to SAVE PEOPLE. Now doctors make too much damn money that everyone has to get a piece of them. Any job could theoretically help other people. Doctors just get shafted because there are so many litigators out there due to all the political science retards that go to law school that they need some way to make money in this stagnant economy. Lawyers go into politics and shaft on doctors even more. Obama is a clear case as his plans to cut down on six figure incomes in order to help the less privileged directly cut into doctors paychecks: paychecks that were discovered because time, sweat, and blood were devoted in this enterprise. And the HMOs prevent us from saving people by telling us that certain patients are "too expensive to care for" and are "lost causes." They cut into doctor's finances AND prevent us from saving people. Honestly, what's up with that crap?

And politicians are too busy bending the law backwards to even care what the ramifications are for the public. Help the community my ass. I demand a goddamn bailout. I honestly crap out $700 billion whenever I need to. Because I'm a politician.

Both demand the questioning of the choices they make. Both require making hard decisions while under pressure. Skills such as these are ones that should be learned early in life...

There are no hard decisions to make in politics. You just sniff the other guys ass and he sniffs yours. Hey let's do some "pork-barrel legislation." Let's do some "log-roll" voting. Don't like the fact that the other party has the advantage, waste their time with a goddamn filibuster.

...And that is all I got. I don't really know how to end it. I figure that is a good place to end the essay. Any suggestions?

It's not that bad for high school. Since everyone will write stuff similar in nature.

My Actual Advice

1. How competitive is it to garner these leadership positions? If they're very hard to get into, then you have to show that you've walked the walk instead of just talking about greater complex issues that are beyond you, me, and our whole system of bureaucratic money-pushing.

2. Are you being yourself when you type this? Do you feel this accurately represents who you are? Or is this fluff?

3. It's tough doing stuff since you're still very young. But humility and honesty never hurt anyone. It helped me to get my job and even scholarships to be debt free.

azalea is a sharp reviewer i see!

Thanks and I appreciate your reply. The essay isn't for an actual position (like, in a job) but just to be in the class. There really isn't any "leadership" in leadership. Theres no real management needed (as you suggested in your 1st example). I dont really think I have any "attributes" that would suggest one of my careers, what I mean by that is that I don't really think I have any outgoing skills that would point me in the direction of a career. I really just want to help people. My peers suggest I do something in politics. I don't really want to bring my peers into this, I dont want to come off as if im self-centered.

I'm thinking of an ending sentence like this..
"Skills such as these are ones that should be learned early in life, and skills such as these are the ones most vital to me."

regarding the thought about peers - this simply serves to show that you are aware of your reputation (which a leader does need to be aware of - it shows professionalism) and also that others respect you. it also hints at a certain level of ...
what is the word.

i forget what the word is.
[word synonymous with honour, respect, command, authority].

think that people reviewing your application are unlikely to doubt the honesty of your words, provided you are actually honest. feel free to say that people respect and know and like you.

 Spoiler

Sounds fantastic. Just for humors sake, can you please tell us why you need to be in this club? Is it because you want to add another notch on your resume so you have a higher chance of getting into an Ivy League school? Because if you pretty much do nothing, there's a thousand other ways to show community service besides being a member of some cheesy student government club.



The HELL? You're already thinking about future professions this early? Have you already had a mid-life crisis? Do you have a wife and kids? Are you already a father? So let's see what "other things" you wanted to do...



My dear Kigaz. When science majors at any University get axed by Organic Chemistry, a majority of them go into politics or history majors. You usually never hear about a politics/history major getting axed by "Socratic Literature" and suddenly choosing to become a science major.



You don't know how you gained these incredible super powers to read the news, to browse the BBC, to read the New York Times, to talk to your friends, or to mingle with your teachers? Kigaz, it all stems from the heart of the cards.



Dear whoever is reading this. I am not ready to stand up for myself yet. I still have to follow my parents and the direction they show me in life. I'm just a confused teenager who loves his parents and tries to make it through my classes like everyone else.



HOLY CRAP. YOU HAD TO LEARN THAT IN AP EURO? What the hell is wrong with the K-12 education system these days? Holy crap!



Yes, yes. Lawyers help themselves by suing doctors and shoving high premiums down their necks while doctors have to bend over and pay high malpractice bills. It's not enough that doctors throw away the best years of their life and get out when they're 35 just in order to SAVE PEOPLE. Now doctors make too much damn money that everyone has to get a piece of them. Any job could theoretically help other people. Doctors just get shafted because there are so many litigators out there due to all the political science retards that go to law school that they need some way to make money in this stagnant economy. Lawyers go into politics and shaft on doctors even more. Obama is a clear case as his plans to cut down on six figure incomes in order to help the less privileged directly cut into doctors paychecks: paychecks that were discovered because time, sweat, and blood were devoted in this enterprise. And the HMOs prevent us from saving people by telling us that certain patients are "too expensive to care for" and are "lost causes." They cut into doctor's finances AND prevent us from saving people. Honestly, what's up with that crap?

And politicians are too busy bending the law backwards to even care what the ramifications are for the public. Help the community my ass. I demand a goddamn bailout. I honestly crap out $700 billion whenever I need to. Because I'm a politician.



There are no hard decisions to make in politics. You just sniff the other guys ass and he sniffs yours. Hey let's do some "pork-barrel legislation." Let's do some "log-roll" voting. Don't like the fact that the other party has the advantage, waste their time with a goddamn filibuster.



It's not that bad for high school. Since everyone will write stuff similar in nature.

My Actual Advice

1. How competitive is it to garner these leadership positions? If they're very hard to get into, then you have to show that you've walked the walk instead of just talking about greater complex issues that are beyond you, me, and our whole system of bureaucratic money-pushing.

2. Are you being yourself when you type this? Do you feel this accurately represents who you are? Or is this fluff?

3. It's tough doing stuff since you're still very young. But humility and honesty never hurt anyone. It helped me to get my job and even scholarships to be debt free.

My Lord.
1. I want to be in this class (it's not a club) because it's easy and fun. A lot of my friends are doing it, so I figure it will be fun to do it with them. There's no "notch to my belt" in doing this. It's no where near a student government club at all. This has nothing to do with college at all.
2. Yes I am thinking about future professions. I'm a Junior in High School and it's nice to think about what I'd like to do in life. I'm not just thinking about being a doctor or a politician, there are many, many things on my mind.
3. Heart of the cards indeed! I love Yugioh!
4. Now that's just mean . It isn't true. I DO want to be a doctor, and not because I was coerced into wanting to do it. Over the years, I've realized I want to actually be a doctor.
5. Yep AP Euro. God bless America!
6. Doctors who get sued are the shitty ones. Surgeons, on the other hand, get sued left and right. I agree with you on the rest of that paragraph, though.
7. I do not like that part of politics. That is the real life of politicians though. Disgusting.
8. Thanks.

~~~
1. Uhm, a lot of students sign up for it and there isn't a lot of spots in the class. I think it's like 30? students a semester, so 60 total. I MIGHT be wrong, but it's around that number.
2. I do believe this represents me about 90%. Some of it is fluff.
3. I understand, thank you.

Anyway......
Thanks Ji, I'll take that into consideration.

Oh yeah, I thought of the word this morning. CHARISMA. (heh)

Saying that you are known and respected by a wide range of people implies that people recognise your "sense of leadership." This goes towards suggesting your charisma.