[lyrics] My Lord, my God

"My Lord, my God" (draft title and version)
by ji and her fiance

For every prideful boast,
Every shameful lust,
Did my Lord bleed and die.
For every word of hate,
Each rebellious thought,
He took my Father's wrath.[INDENT]CHORUS
Oh my Lord, my God,
Be the King and leader
of my life, my Lord,
Heal this broken life,
Oh my Lord, my God,
Teach me to be holy
And to fear you
Until you call me home.
[/INDENT]By my human will
I can do no good,
Save him who strengthens me:
For in his perfect pow'r,
He conquered even death,
And now he dwells in me.

------

if you are not a christian i don't expect you to "get this" as it was not written for you, but feel free to comment.

(again i have posted in the rubik's cube as advised by someone in the bring-back-shady-tree thread. hope this is the correct place; mods feel free to move if not)

we haven't recorded this yet and even the lyrics are just a draft version (we're still working out the first half of the chorus) but if we get around to it i'll post a link to the uploaded song. all comments and constructive criticism welcome.

From a completely objective view, I think it's a very good start for a song. I would prefer more verses, though. It feels too short to me right now. I assume it's a slower song? How many times does the chorus repeat? I suppose you'll make it decent length, even with not very many lyrics.

I have no interest in the subject you chose, but I admire those who can write and perform their own songs. I'll look forward to hearing it!

From a completely objective view, I think it's a very good start for a song. I would prefer more verses, though. It feels too short to me right now. I assume it's a slower song? How many times does the chorus repeat? I suppose you'll make it decent length, even with not very many lyrics.

I have no interest in the subject you chose, but I admire those who can write and perform their own songs. I'll look forward to hearing it!

yep, a slow song - glad you posted i'm thinking sorta... adagio? (about 70 bpm (so slightly faster than a second per beat). the chorus repeats twice. i've been assuming it's 4/4 time, with 4/4 time both verse and chorus go through 8 bars each, with maybe 1 bar between chorus and verse. so that makes 26 bars at 70 bpm each?)

so it'll be around 3 minutes, excluding intro/outtro. is that normal length or a bit short, compared with most songs?

heh my fiance has been nudging me to write a 3rd verse, it kinda sounds complete at the moment though, will think about it some more...

Awesome. Care to post the chord progressions? :3

3 minutes is fine for a worship song.

Any music / chord progressions for us?

for worship songs, three minutes is good. If this worship song is meant moreso for teens, then what really matters is modularity - meaning that you can play the song in any order and it sounds good. Most worship bands like to "go with the flow" and play whichever sections mean the most to them at that time.

Here I was thinking this was going to be:

"Oh Lord, My God
When I in awesome wonder
Consider all the works
Thy hands have maaaaaaade"

hey guys thanks for all your feedback!

thunda and fiel - this is more intended as a devotional, as you might have guessed from the adagio, but i think it could be used in worship too (which is more congregational), good ideas. fiel - our church is about to start a youth praise band (although this was not written for it) so good idea, will keep that in mind when they get going and are thinking of new songs.

moonlapse and thunda - got the chord progressions from my fiance this morning:

Code:

Verse: D major, 4/4
D       |A       |Em      |G   A   |
D       |A       |Em      |G   A   |
Chorus: G major, 4/4
Em  A   |D       |Em  A   |D*      |
Em  A   |D       |G   G,F#|Em  A   |D       ||

* we changed this line yesterday and haven't gotten around to working out the chord. won't be a D though - a brighter chord i'm thinking? i'm not sure since i don't play the guitar!

the melody is still a work in progress. kinda struggling between too unremarkable and too repetitive (especially the chorus, which "wants" to have the same melody for the first, third and fifth line)

edit: hehe fiel. i didn't even think of that, should have been obvious! it actually sounds quite different though. "how great" is majestic, quite even paced, whereas this one is more personal and a bit lyrical, especially in the chorus

turn this into a progessive metal song.

add a 3 minute solo at the beginning as an intro then throw in a 9 minute bass solo at the end.

also have Brann Dailor singing vocals.

turn this into a progessive metal song.

add a 3 minute solo at the beginning as an intro then throw in a 9 minute bass solo at the end.

also have Brann Dailor singing vocals.

thanks for the suggestion, which i must reject as this is a devotional song and to be sung by anyone who has the heart for it, rather than a specific person's voice. also the purpose of the song is chatting with God rather than impressing other humans with an exciting solo (which not everyone can play, anyway) - if you have written a song with 12 minutes' worth of solos please post it i would be interested to see how it would work.

or you may have clicked the wrong board, funhouse is here

I have not written this, but I wish I had!

 Spoiler

[YOUTUBE]oPwPSsgTyXI[/YOUTUBE]

very off-topic, please do not derail as i am sure you are perfectly capable of making your own thread. no offense intended but there is a music board if you wish to share music that is not your own

edit: i realise you were posting in response to my question however it is not your writing and you have not explained how it works, also i cannot view videos on this computer. sorry

Code:

Chorus: G major, 4/4
Em  A   |D       |Em  A   |D*      |
Em  A   |D       |G   G,F#|Em  A   |D       ||

* we changed this line yesterday and haven't gotten around to working out the chord. won't be a D though - a brighter chord i'm thinking? i'm not sure since i don't play the guitar!

How's this?

Code:

Chorus: D* major, 4/4

Em A/F#|G       |Em A/F#|Bm7/E   |
Em A/F#|G       |G  D/F#|Em7 A/E |D       ||

Although I do not agree with the subject I still admire the fact you can write a decent song.
Good for you!

thanks for the vote of support rain! will try harder

(some of you may disagree with this paragraph: skip it if you'd rather but i'm far too arrogant for my own safety so i'll leave it in for my benefit! seeing as i have hearing problems as well as communication problems it's pretty much all a complete gift of grace that any song at all has emerged in the form of something comprehensible to other people. so yea this is the disclaimer of my heart, that it's soli Deo gloria and the song is actually nothing to do with my own abilities, or necessarily that of my fiance. i realise this means nothing to a few of you, so yea ignore this paragraph if you will.)

and my fiance is a bit busy at the moment and i don't have recording gear or a guitar... so please excuse the following impromptu recording with low-end default laptop microphone in huge bad quality wav file. felt i had to record something in response to thunda's kindly posted chord progressions.

thunda - can't comment on the chord progressions you so kindly thought of, unfortunately, though i have uploaded a file so you can hear what my thought for the melody was going to be like (just one verse + chorus). when my fiance gets a free moment i will bug him to try yours out. thanks

i know i am probably completely in the wrong key - how does the melody fit with those chords?

:] Wonderful Job

~Christian~ i really like how the song goes :]

:] Wonderful Job

~Christian~ i really like how the song goes :]

God makes everything useful eh? even someone as flawed as me.

jan hettinga (author of "follow me") was visiting our country recently and did a series of seminars on what being a christian actually does to you. not just "i accept jesus as my personal saviour" and go on your merry way

guess i need to submit to God more: i am completely sinful and resistant to being submissive.. so that's kinda where the lyrics came from.

God makes everything useful eh? even someone as flawed as me.

jan hettinga (author of "follow me") was visiting our country recently and did a series of seminars on what being a christian actually does to you. not just "i accept jesus as my personal saviour" and go on your merry way

guess i need to submit to God more: i am completely sinful and resistant to being submissive.. so that's kinda where the lyrics came from.

ahh.. well ya i mean were all Sinful and we need repentence every day :]

and i c ic :]