MasPan's Field Guide to Women

This thread made me chuckle. No REAL girl fits so neatly into any one of these categories. Seriously. This just sounds like the bios of ficticous characters.

Also, it's not a good idea to approach a person as if they have a label taped accross their forehead. Everyone is unique. I'm sure guys wouldn't like it if girls made something similar to this.

Honestly, if you are going to approach the opposite sex, half the fun is in trying to figure out wat makes them tick. Just find someone with your interests, or who is nice, or whatever. Approaching someone you don't know with the mindset that you already KNOW how they tick is a recipe for fail, because it does not work like that.

This guide is flawed.

Think of all the men you've met, and how intricate and complex their personalities are. Women are probably even more complicated because their hormones can severely alter their mood. Moreover, a person can change his reaction given how he is treated. Most people would classify me as a guy that is good to girls, but one of my gfs was a psycho and a golddigger, so by the end I was screaming and abusive. It has been said that even the sweetest girl can become a peach depending on the level of abuse you heap on her. Finally, AGE changes people. I am 27, I am very different now than I was at 18. Similarly, a lot of girls, (I daresay most,) will change what they look for in a man, and will change themselves as they age. Jeannie in Forrest Gump was perfectly portrayed: she did heaps of crazy pomegranate, but at the end of the movie she's a stable mother; her past caught up to her in the form of AIDS, but many people, (including some of our parents,) will never reveal their crazy youth to us.

So, a person is not a certain type, he is what he is depending on circumstances the moment in which you catch him. Nasty people can be nice, (to certain people or at certain times,) and nice people sometimes act like assholes. The "types" portrayed in this guide are mainly useful as a regional or national indicator. The football-cheerleader culture of the South has some imitations in other places, but the WAY it exists is peculiar to them. And honestly, and thankfully, I've never met a father in the North who upon meeting me threatened my life if I mistreat his daughter, (this is standard in Texas.)

Let's leave the generalizations for anthropologists and sociologists, people. You cannot classify a gender in a few paragraphs. Men trying to make sense of general feminine behavior drive themselves insane, and even most women I've met can't explain a bunch of it, even if they identify with it.

No, I really don't feel like arguing this point. Books have been written by men trying to explain women, and women trying to explain men. It'll never become clear. Why? Friedrich Nietzche, ironically a huge mysoginist, put it best: "The same emotions in women and men are, however, different in tempo; therefore, men and women never cease to misunderstand one another."

It was never intended to be taken completely seriously, hence the lame jokes all the way through it. I made it as a way of just generally describing various personalities I've seen, not really for any purpose other than to see if anyone else had encountered them.

LF>Hot azn girls category

To all da peepahz that is gettins mad about this, it wasnt meant that seriously. me(brian) and branflakes(maspan) made this as a response to our friend kayley's post on basil about different types of boys. Its true, most girls are compilations of these things, but admit it, there are a lot of girls who fit into these quite snuggly. And if you were offended by this, go off and cry in a corner, because you obviously take things people say waaaaayyy to seriously. but for those of you who get what we were gettin at, we salute you. but to the haters, suck on it, two times t("t)


btw, my boo is a princess/stoner/nurse. yes, it works quite well. Shes wild and loves gettin baked, but still is a bit of a girly girl. and she always takes care of me

To all da peepahz that is gettins mad about this, it wasnt meant that seriously. me(brian) and branflakes(maspan) made this as a response to our friend kayley's post on basil about different types of boys. Its true, most girls are compilations of these things, but admit it, there are a lot of girls who fit into these quite snuggly. And if you were offended by this, go off and cry in a corner, because you obviously take things people say waaaaayyy to seriously. but for those of you who get what we were gettin at, we salute you. but to the haters, suck on it, two times t("t)


btw, my boo is a princess/stoner/nurse. yes, it works quite well. Shes wild and loves gettin baked, but still is a bit of a girly girl. and she always takes care of me

Calling Ash's or my responses to this topic "offended" or "hateful" is inaccurate. We said it is flawed and we do not agree with it, and we said why we feel that way. Telling us to go "cry in the corner" seems like a pretty inappropriate way to reply to mature criticism. The two of us have been together for a while, I wouldn't classify Ash in any of these categories, because she has her own quirks and personality. She's a wonderful human being, not a hodge-podge of three stereotypes, which you used to label your own girlfriend.

When I grow up, I'm gonna marry a Cuddler.

This thread is really amusing. I know a few girls that fit some of these descriptions, but there are a lot of other personalities of girls that this list lacks for every girl is different in some way or another.

LF>Hot azn girls category

I concur

LOL this thread is awesome

L> girl to do a guy list just to see what a girl has to say about guys =P

LF>Hot azn girls category

Halfway granted

How about ..

The "Perfect" one! for you!

- She's amazing to you, no ones a perfect person, but she's perfect for you. You love everything about her, maybe a couple flaws, but who doesn't have those. You can't stop complimenting her, not flirting, but complimenting her cause you just seem to love this girl so much.

Maybe maybe?

Any of those types of girls can be the "Perfect" one for you.

You should definately add the "Cum dumpster"

This girl has sex every waking moment of her life. She is a whore. It doesn't matter who you are if you can have sex then she will do it with you. Intoxicated or sober it doesn't matter. Can't hold a relationship at all. Don't get tricked into being with them because in all honesty they probably have every incurable STD. Don't stoop to their level. She isn't exactly the stoner/rocker because she could care less about drugs/music. All she wants is to have someone in her pants at all times.

You should definately add the "Cum dumpster"

This girl has sex every waking moment of her life. She is a whore. It doesn't matter who you are if you can have sex then she will do it with you. Intoxicated or sober it doesn't matter. Can't hold a relationship at all. Don't get tricked into being with them because in all honesty they probably have every incurable STD. Don't stoop to their level. She isn'y exactly the stoner/rocker because she could care less about drugs/music. All she wants is to have someone in her pants at all times.

To be honest, I'm trying to keep this from being overtly insulting, so I probably won't add it, although I have indeed met this kind of person.

To be honest, I'm trying to keep this from being overtly insulting, so I probably won't add it, although I have indeed met this kind of person.

You could lighten up the words a bit, but hell it goes for guys too. I think it deserves to go in there.

Would that mean you wouldn't add the airhead either?

o_o

I don't fit onto any of the categories on the lists.

Cute Japanese Girls
Often seen wearing sailor schoolgirl outfits. Usually have several keychains with small, cartoony animals (or monsters) on their backpacks, big eyes, big smiles. Love anything small (they are "kawaii") and tend to have weird powers of seduction. Take caution, as the more perverse groups of older men will often lust for them. They make a good match with people who have a lot of small things, have an immense appreciation for cute little monsters...

Stereotypical thread in general, yeah, but come on. We're not talking about anime female stereotypes now.

...and prefer cats over dogs.

Every HUMAN should be like this! Best character trait a person can have!

Pfft. Cats dont really care about you. At least a dog will try to defend you and is loyal. First sign of danger, your cat will run away.

Every HUMAN should be like this! Best character trait a person can have!

I implore you to reconsider! Dogs over cats... Cats are evil creatures. Wow this post is offtopic.

On Topic:

To be honest, I'm trying to keep this from being overtly insulting, so I probably won't add it, although I have indeed met this kind of person.

I think mine should be able to be in here if the femenist one can.

Pfft. Cats dont really care about you. At least a dog will try to defend you and is loyal. First sign of danger, your cat will run away.

I implore you to reconsider! Dogs over cats... Cats are evil creatures. Wow this post is offtopic.

It's people like you two that are EVIL CREATURES! Frickin' dog lovers! ??? Cats are the most amazing animal on this planet! House cats are sooo awesome! Whenever I'm back home, I snuggle with my two amazing kitties all the time. ;_; So soft and cuddly and they purr so cute...asdljs And their fluffy tails that they always raise up for you to pet! Fluffy kitties are the best. THE BEST. Cat hair all over my clothes is a STATEMENT. I'm not even being sarcastic here guys. Cats... I love them so much.

Yeah there's mean, dumb kitties, too, but that's because they haven't been raised in a loving environment. Anything is like that, even humans! Dogs can be way more evil than cats can be. Dogs are just SO stupid. Yeah yeah, they can be trained. WOO HOO. Most dogs are so retarded...just watch them sometimes. And they're MUCH harder to train than kitty cats. Cats just KNOW to use their litter box. Frickin' dogs are like, "Hurrr...floor is spot to PEE and POOP. HURRR!" AND cats clean themselves. YEAH. I KNOW. They're always clean and preetttyyy and soft. Dogs are nasty and disgusting smelling. Sick.

And let's not get started on the eye comparison! Cat eyes are the most incredible eyes EVER. Dog eyes are like stupid wannabe attention whores, always looking all black and pouty (and stupid).

!

Oh! And Mr. Opeth, who cares? Cats are the smart ones. Dogs are just asking to be hurt or KILLED. If something is dangerous, get away from it! Kitties know when to pick a fight.

It's people like you two that are EVIL CREATURES! Frickin' dog lovers! ??? Cats are the most amazing animal on this planet! House cats are sooo awesome! Whenever I'm back home, I snuggle with my two amazing kitties all the time. ;_; So soft and cuddly and they purr so cute...asdljs And their fluffy tails that they always raise up for you to pet! Fluffy kitties are the best. THE BEST. Cat hair all over my clothes is a STATEMENT. I'm not even being sarcastic here guys. Cats... I love them so much.

Yeah there's mean, dumb kitties, too, but that's because they haven't been raised in a loving environment. Anything is like that, even humans! Dogs can be way more evil than cats can be. Dogs are just SO stupid. Yeah yeah, they can be trained. WOO HOO. Most dogs are so retarded...just watch them sometimes. And they're MUCH harder to train than kitty cats. Cats just KNOW to use their litter box. Frickin' dogs are like, "Hurrr...floor is spot to PEE and POOP. HURRR!" AND cats clean themselves. YEAH. I KNOW. They're always clean and preetttyyy and soft. Dogs are nasty and disgusting smelling. Sick.

And let's not get started on the eye comparison! Cat eyes are the most incredible eyes EVER. Dog eyes are like stupid wannabe attention whores, always looking all black and pouty (and stupid).

!

Oh! And Mr. Opeth, who cares? Cats are the smart ones. Dogs are just asking to be hurt or KILLED. If something is dangerous, get away from it! Kitties know when to pick a fight.

Lol, when you come back, you come back with a bang. (Referring to your recent absence from SP)


Oh and this thread was very enjoyable to read.