went into Hot Topic for the second time yesterday

and ralphed all over their merchandise AGAIN

some of you may remember the tale years ago of when i was drunk and about to blow chunks in the mall, finding hot topic at the last second and unleashing a whirlwind of olde english and jack daniels all over a rack of Tripp pants

well this one was much more deadly

there i was at the mall, minding my own business, when i felt a gut-wrenching twist inside my stomach. i thought to myself... it could be a burp, and i could probably just let it rip, but then i realized it could also be the 6 nacho cheese gorditas and side of beef nachos i had just had from taco bell across the street.

i soon realized it was not a false alarm and sprinted across the mall searching for the hot topic on the other end. would i make it? at that point i could only pray. i felt the burning hot cheese and ground up dog beef rising faster and faster, and the sprinting definitely was not slowing down the ralph attack. i hurdled a bench and realized i did not even know where hot topic was. i was about to give up when i turned around and saw its neon sign lit up like a welcome sign to a feast of poser slaying and badassery

so i ran in, face sweating and all, and stood there waiting. everyone in the store turned and looked, wondering what my deal was. it was only a matter of seconds before their thoughts were answered and a mountain of POSER-SLAYING BARF rose up like a tidal wave, and let me tell you, eight dollars worth of food came out in one swift movement, decorating rack after rack like a super soaker full of half-eaten mexican food and mountain dew

i sprayed from left to right trying to cover as much as possible, nailing some goth jackets and a stand of warped tour shirts before shooting some on the floor for good measure. the light brown texture glistened like gold on the black clothes, and i can say with truth I was proud of that puke like it was my kid scoring his first touchdown in pee wee football

after that i bolted, much more agile from the recent delivery. made it back to the car without and problems and blasted some Nuke Assault for good measure.

it was a good day

I must respectfully request that every trip to Hot Topic begin and end like this. Then there will be less (goth) drama, and moar lulz.

Their clothes just look like they want to be barfed on.

...so you had a diarrhea from a taco but farted so you ran to a washroom. Right? That's epik.

O_O
You're a weirdy.

I don't get it though, why did you barf all over some shop...?

O_O
You're a weirdy.

I don't get it though, why did you barf all over some shop...?

That shop was made to be barfed on.

lol that's just plain awesome

mall security didn't chase you out the mall or anything?

I lol'ed. I shop at Hot Topic, but like... once in a year? o_0; I only go there to get chains. >_> It's really... well, it's a bad place. Friggin emos and stuff. <_<;

I hope that wasn't copypasta, because that's the funniest thing I've read all month.

Sounds like a copypasta.

Surely Fiel wouldn't do something liek this. RIGHT?

I hope that wasn't copypasta, because that's the funniest thing I've read all month.

Take a look after that "don't shoot the puppy" game you linked to a couple hours back, you'll see the second funniest.

I also enjoy puking at horrible shirts and merchandise, we should hook up sometime.

That place makes me wanna punch babies. The emo-ness smell that comes out of that place is disturbing.

Sounds like a copypasta.

Surely Fiel wouldn't do something liek this. RIGHT?

Right. Of course I wouldn't.

That's nice .__.

Judging from you guys' (and girls') description of it, I would say that I'm glad that I don't even know if we have one of those in Hawai'i, let alone that I've yet to get into shopping as a hobby or interest of some sort.

AHHAAHHA what the hell..ahahaha! I go there sometimes to get the vintage shirts if they have them on sale(mario, donkey kong, nintendo, etc.) The other clothes, YEAH TOTALLY ridiculous, I mean c'mon the male PANTS are like parachutes! You can go sky diving with them on! The women's jeans/pants I can't fit into b/c well..ya know & plus they're absolutely horrific!

This made my day.

I'll keep this in mind next time I'm eating greasy mall food.

I've been there once and only cause I went with a group of people... I think 2 people even bought anything from there. Yeah, the place is emo as hell and it's amazing that you puked in it XD. And here I thought that as you got away from the Rhode Island hot topics, it got maybe a little less emo, guess not.

I hope that wasn't copypasta, because that's the funniest thing I've read all month.

Expect in on /b/ in a few hours.

Fiel that was totally awesome, please keep doing it.