guys help

i found this thing outside today, i'm not sure what it wants

offer it a glass of water.

Hug him

Don't touch it. It's identity left waiting to happen!

i tossed some food at it but it didn't do anything

when i looked back outside at it i think it was closer. guys i am concerned now

Have a staring contest.

Maybe if you hemispherically paint baseballs red and hurl them at or near it, you might be able to frighten it away. If not, I would advise you to evacuate immediately because there is obvious rage building, in what I can assume to be, its muscly core.

It wants to breed with ALL your pokemon.
Ditto you dirty whore.

guys, i peeked outside, but it's still not gone. i think i saw a squirrel go near it but it hasn't come back yet

i am fearful