Rusty's guide to getting HOT B*TCHES

Wut the fk is up southperry? Since 99% of you are virgins, I decided to write a guide to help out my fellow southperrians get hot b*tches.

First off, Be yourself!

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DO NOT DO THIS. Hot b*tches do not want to see you scratch your bum hole then smell your finger, or pick your nose, or tell jokes you read on memes picture.

Be Honest!

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DO NOT DO THIS. Tell those hot b*tches that your ferrari is in the shop, and that your cousin Brad Pitt is on vacation at the moment, but you'll give them his autograph when he gets back.

Talk about things that interest you

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DO NOT DO THIS. Hot b*tches do not care about your 9 second chaos horntail solo. That will make her think that's how long you last in bed. Hot b*tches are interested in you talking about how much you can't stand the other hot b*tches you are no longer with.

Be romantic

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DO NOT DO THIS. Hot b*tches want to listen to loud music and take jager bomb shots until they pass out. A hot b*tch that gets flowers will immediately think "Do I have to water these damn things?"

Be Nice

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DO NOT DO THIS. Hot b*tches like guys who are confident and slightly douchey. Cockiness and confidence are similar but not the same thing. A cocky guy will talk about how high he can jump, and a confident guy will jump as high as he can.

Go to the gym

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and go on a diet for god's sake

Follow these simple steps and you'll have plenty of hot b*tches
Testimonials

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Actual person #1 - "I followed Rusty's guide to getting HOT B*TCHES and now I'm swimming in a sea of hot b*tches"
Actual person #2 - "After reading Rusty's guide to getting HOT B*TCHES I know have 8 girlfriends! One for each day of the week, and 2 on Saturdays."

After using reading and using my own guide, I hooked up with the following hot b*tches

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Good luck in your journey to get them hot b*tches!

Who the hell's the last one?

This has been bookmarked. I will do everything you have included because you are 100% correct in every way and I will be jelly with peanut butter.

When do I show her my Pokemon card collection?

Favorited, Bookmarked, frontpaged, twittered, facebooked, reddited, told my guild, i am now swiming in hot b*tches.

Favorited, Bookmarked, frontpaged, twittered, facebooked, reddited, told my guild, i am now swiming in hot b*tches.

You forgot to post it on Digg.

Am I the only one who didn't find this remotely funny?

I'm sharing this on my tumblr. Do you have a channel I can subscribe to?

When do I show her my Pokemon card collection?

They obviously prefer YU-GI-OH

Am I the only one who didn't find this remotely funny?

You are not alone. Well, you might be, but to answer your question, no.

You forgot to post it on Digg.

darn your right

i also forgot to make a meme of it and post it on 4chan and 9gag

Wait a second, Scarlett Johansson has been cheating on me? Guess my manhood isn't big enough.

You got tips for improving an Asian man's wood, or is it a hopeless case?

They obviously prefer YU-GI-OH

Nah man, Chaotic is where it's at.

Wait a second, Scarlett Johansson has been cheating on me? Guess my manhood isn't big enough.

You got tips for improving an Asian man's wood, or is it a hopeless case?

One word. Viagra

Wait a second, Scarlett Johansson has been cheating on me? Guess my manhood isn't big enough.

You got tips for improving an Asian man's wood, or is it a hopeless case?

That was pre-Hot B*tches guide. After following these simple steps, you can win her heart back in no time!

also, It's not the size that counts, it's how you use it

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DO NOT BELIEVE THIS

OH It's all so clear now!
THANK YOU GREAT SAVOUR!

That was pre-Hot B*tches guide. After following these simple steps, you can win her heart back in no time!

also, It's not the size that counts, it's how you use it

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DO NOT BELIEVE THIS

Do you think the reason she cheated on me is because of my avatar switch?

Do you think the reason she cheated on me is because of my avatar switch?

You need to learn how to "blood bend" better.

Khoi did this exact thread way better than you.

Am I the only one who didn't find this remotely funny?

No.