How was your day?

God forbid the government allocates some money they were saving up from Operation Invade Syria to their civil workers.

Although things like the government shut down reveal kind of how retarded things are, essentially for the step increase he's looking for requies a masters degree, which he never bother getting. Technically he shouldn't even be in his position because it also requires a masters degree, but his experience trumped over it. My dad was fortunate to be on that last generation wave where working hard with results meant something. Now it's all about the sheep skin lmao

Last night I asked a boy who I've had a crush on for a while now to go with me and friends to Six Flags, he said he's down and he'll be 100% sure soon. Tomorrow I'm gonna follow up just to make sure. I'm holding the doubt in my mind that he won't go, but I'm hoping he does. He's really cute, really dorky, and I just wanna get to know him and try for something. Here's to hoping it goes well.

In other news Calculus 3 got really easy, I don't understand why I had such a hard time with pomegranate like gradients and chain rule when I'm kicking the ass out of work/flow/flux of fields and line integrals.

Although things like the government shut down reveal kind of how retarded things are, essentially for the step increase he's looking for requies a masters degree, which he never bother getting. Technically he shouldn't even be in his position because it also requires a masters degree, but his experience trumped over it. My dad was fortunate to be on that last generation wave where working hard with results meant something. Now it's all about the sheep skin lmao

Can never win these days mate. For some a degree means nothing. For others, their degree isn't enough. Can never win.

I got suspended on twitter for overusing the #EMAzing EXO hashtag =_=. Winning the EMA's worldwide act would mean alot and it would be a double blow to all the beliebers and directioners after their loss at the YTMA's. EXO has been leading in the social buzz for the entire day now woop woop good day, good day....

Yesterday;

Teacher: Do you still enjoy this study?

Me: Yea.

Teacher: Is this still what you wanna do in the future?

Me: Idk, I just turned 18, how the fk should I know what I'm supposed to do with my life.
Sometimes I like doing nothing at all and lay in bed all day behind my laptop and sometimes I go outside and just run till I can't no more or go train with my cousin and just forget about all these questions, you know?
I just don't know what I want to do in the future. I like coding and everything else I learn here, but idk if I want to do this for the rest of my life.

Teacher:Well you've been doing this for almost 2 years now. You're half way through. Don't you think you should know if this study really is what you're looking for?

Me: Did you know you would become an IT teacher? Is this what you wanted to be since you were little?

Teacher: This isn't about me.

...

-_-

@Above: Eurgh, I know the feels. I hate when everyone expects you to have a definitive life or career goal. Some people can't seem to grasp the idea of just seeing where life takes you.

Anyway, I'm going out in about an hour to watch Wicked at the Palace Theatre in Manchester! I bought the tickets about 6 or 7 months ago and I have seriously been waiting for it all this time, so hyped.

EDIT: I'm back! IT WAS SO GOOD. SO GOOD.

My dad went into cardiac arrest on Monday. I've been crying ever since and fearing that he won't make it.

Today (after 3 and a half DAYS of being unconscious/heavily sedated), he's finally awake, eating, has some small memory lapses, and he's even walking (albeit limping since his left leg is pretty much really weakened)! That's good, I hope! Ever since doctors have been coming in back and forth, I've been getting information about his condition. The more I find out, the more I get sad and want to cry. I looked up all those fearful big words and it's not as bad as I imagined it to be. Doctors are amazed at his recovery but I am extremely worried.

He needs heart surgery (and seeing that my dad is 76), I can't help but wonder how dangerous heart surgery is. I've never heard of anyone dying during the procedure but anything could happen, you know? I know I shouldn't be so pessimistic and I'm trying to stay positive (I've been praying for my dad everyday even though I'm not a prayer person. I really just need the extra emotional support and if religion is the answer, so be it).

I want to just go back to my dorm and get back to a 'normal' life. But I KNOW my life will never be the same again. I have these episodes of wanting to drop out of college, come back home, get a job, and supporting my family. I feel like this traumatic event is going to make me lose focus in school. Then, I have these episodes of using this as motivation of moving on in school with all my might and doing it for my dad. I'm a ball of emotions right now...
Help me, Southperry ._.

I'm so stupid oh my god oh well at least I didn't pursue much of it, can't really pursue something that is already taken.

I'm just so dumb ffs jfc.

Essentially had to break up with someone I wasn't even dating and I feel like a d'ick =[

My dad went into cardiac arrest on Monday. I've been crying ever since and fearing that he won't make it.

Today (after 3 and a half DAYS of being unconscious/heavily sedated), he's finally awake, eating, has some small memory lapses, and he's even walking (albeit limping since his left leg is pretty much really weakened)! That's good, I hope! Ever since doctors have been coming in back and forth, I've been getting information about his condition. The more I find out, the more I get sad and want to cry. I looked up all those fearful big words and it's not as bad as I imagined it to be. Doctors are amazed at his recovery but I am extremely worried.

He needs heart surgery (and seeing that my dad is 76), I can't help but wonder how dangerous heart surgery is. I've never heard of anyone dying during the procedure but anything could happen, you know? I know I shouldn't be so pessimistic and I'm trying to stay positive (I've been praying for my dad everyday even though I'm not a prayer person. I really just need the extra emotional support and if religion is the answer, so be it).

I want to just go back to my dorm and get back to a 'normal' life. But I KNOW my life will never be the same again. I have these episodes of wanting to drop out of college, come back home, get a job, and supporting my family. I feel like this traumatic event is going to make me lose focus in school. Then, I have these episodes of using this as motivation of moving on in school with all my might and doing it for my dad. I'm a ball of emotions right now...
Help me, Southperry ._.

Witnessed two bypass surgeries. Hope he made it through okay.

She's a waitress where I work and I am the lead line cook. She makes me hot chocolate with whipped cream and chocolate swirls. I slice her bananas for her so the other guys won't make dick jokes and embarrass her. She cleans my bloody knuckles when I have a bad shift and go outside and vent my frustrations on the dumpster. I make her mix CD's and she has yet to dislike a song. She gives me slices of her pizza. I spend an extra few minutes making sure whatever she orders for herself to eat comes out perfect. We check each other out constantly behind each others' backs. We smoke together when we can. Everyone in the restaurant makes jokes about how adorable we would be together.

I don't even want to be in this restaurant anymore. I should have moved on by now. The only reason I'm here is because I want to torture myself a bit more with this girl. She has a boyfriend and I've come to realize that as much as I would like to be with her, to assume that she'd be any happier with me than with him would be selfish. I also don't want her to resent me for ever making her choose. It's a bit depressing but at the same time, I'm just happy to be around her.

Guys. No classes tomorrow.

awww yeah

Exams and papers piling up this week, not sure if I will make it out alive.

Getting on a plane from Cincinnati Ohio in the morning to Denver Colorado, where I have an 5 and a half hour layover, before leaving for Los Angles. Can't wait to get home!

Acquired a cat this past week :3

Her name is Lucy, and she's adapting very well to my home

 Spoiler

Life is just great. I mean that.

Heading down to the US Consulate today to get my passport. Hoo boy.

Biology exam is tomorrow, so I'm studying on what's left to be studied.

Im applying for a class that will be taking a 10 day trip to Japan over spring break next semester!! Out of pocket costs will only be about $1000 dollars, which will mostly be for food.

Hoping that I will get selected! It would be an awesome cap to my last semester of school.

My feelings were wrecked all freaking day...on top of all that, midterms. >.>

omg reeses peanut butter cup blizzard cake for my birthday.

omggggg I feel so fat, bloated, and amazing right now.