Rick Wrote:She was an addict, alcoholic, refused help, and wasn't that good a singer. It is sad that a life is gone, but that's about as far as it goes for me.
If you stopped just in the beginning of your sentence, i could've agreed with it. But sincerely, she was indeed an addict, alcoholic, refused help many times, and sometimes seemed like a person with no self-control, and that everyone saw her death coming.
She could be a person that seemed not to care about many things about life, but she was indeed a great singer.
A singer in a time when the majority of artists are just autotuned people, empty "new-pop" artists, lacking their own style, talent to write songs, with songs that are empty songs, that have no rhytm, no influence, no culture, just talk about superfluous things.
Amy was destroying herself for many years, she had a life she choose, and it was a one way ticket. But she was trying to stop, as she said in some interviews, it seemed to be much stronger than what she could take, like the one where she described the sensation of getting into an interview.
That she saw extremely beautiful people, with extremely elegant things, and everytime she looked at it, she tried to forget what her body was getting into, she tried to drive away feelings that weren't good for her, embarassment, and everything she had close to her were bottles and bottles of drinks.
Of course, it was such a terrible way to destroy these, because she was destroying herself.
But it's not really like the thing that you can say "Hmph, deserve to die for getting into such thing", or "Another person dying for drugs, no difference".
It DOES make a difference on her death, because she was one of the only artists that could sing without any technology, with such an amazing voice control, that could compose good songs, and that could've been much bigger than she was if she didn't chose to get into it.
People use Rehab, to say that she didn't want help, though she was going to rehab many times by that time. And then come up with the fact she just felt like doing drugs, going into such a road, for nothing. Or the most ridiculous thing to be said, that is "She could've stopped if she wanted to".
Don't get fooled by such statement, because when you're dealing with heavy drugs, it doesn't work like that. It's not like people can wake up, look at the mirror, and say "Today, i'm going to stop doing drugs".
It involves a LOT of pain, a lot of suffering, a lot of confusion, because you know it's wrong, you know you're dying because of it, but you can't just stop, you'll find yourself crying for both things, for the fact you should stop, that you know your body is being destroyed, and for the fact you know you can't stop like that, that no matter how many times you try to, sometimes, it just doesn't go away.
She's not just a life gone because of drugs, she's a woman, that was born with an amazing talent, but found something on the road that took it away, that could have been much more great, but that was destroyed by just beginning to get into that world. She had her own style, an unique mix of Blues and Jazz that was her mark, unlike many other artists that when compared to others, are just the same.
I've seen her death coming, but i don't see it as "She didn't want help, she was totally okay with that". Actually, some months before, in an interview, she said she's stopped taking alcohol and drugs, but that she couldn't live enough even if she stopped.
Many doctors said it already, that she began to take drugs, she couldn't stop, and even if she did, she probably wouldn't live for much. Or does really anyone wonders why her death has "no determined cause"?
It's because she had many infections on the majority of her organs. Lungs, liver, kidneys, intestines, stomach, many specialists have said that even if she stopped months ago, she probably wouldn't have much time. She died because of her choices, but it's not something you can just say that it's another life gone. She was in threatment for the past months, she stayed clean for some time, but had to deal with the fact her life was already ruined.
We're talking about Rehab, and there are many more things in the lyrics that can be about it.
"I ain't got the time
And if my daddy thinks I'm fine
He's tried to make me go to rehab
But I won't go-go-go"
She was already dealing with the fact she was on a road that she couldn't come back, that even if she tried to search help, she was going to go back to the beginning in just some time. And that's what her father always wanted, he's done absolutely nothing about her condition, since many years ago, he did nothing to her. Other than just looking at his daughter, and see an addict that should be isolated in a rehab, a dozen times, he's seen her as nothing, but someone that just needed to get isolated, and was just "fine" while being in there, when it wasn't everything she needed.
"The man said "why do you think you're here?"
I said "I got no idea.
I'm gonna, I'm gonna lose my baby,
So I always keep a bottle near."
He said "I just think you're depressed,
Kiss me here, baby, and go rest.""
This also refers to what i've said before, that she had serious problems, and that no one looked at it. Her father just felt like rehab was going to solve their problems, when it surely didn't. Sending someone to rehab, isolating it, and not giving it any emotional support, and you expect it to be miraculously cured?
Resting was the only thing she's done in Rehab, and her dad was thinking it was just okay. Resting doesn't solve the problem, it just makes a delay between what was happening. How do you expect someone that was already addicted, to be cured, when she had to deal with her insecurity, with the lack of support she had, when everything she saw when she needed help, was no one, but a bottle of alcohol?
"I don't ever want to drink again
I just, ooh, I just need a friend
I'm not going to spend ten weeks
And have everyone think I'm on the mend
It's not just my pride
It's just 'til these tears have dried"
There's a very big difference, between wanting to do something, than really doing it. Here, she already states it. She doesn't want to have drugs, she doesn't want to have alcohol, but how's she supposed to deal with it when no one's near her, or when people look at her, and think "All she needs is ten weeks on the rehab, and she'll be fine". How you're supposed to have threatment in a place that you don't have anyone that you love, and that is more like an "sleeping prison"?
Finally, she's not a victim, she's not a saint, but she's not the sinner that everyone thinks she is. She has chose her destiny when she got into it, and she was aware of what was going to happen.
She could've stopped years ago and be fine, but she couldn't. And even if she did months ago, do you really think someone with this aspect could still live?
![[Image: BSBS38787.jpg]](http://files.list.co.uk/images/2008/09/19/BSBS38787.jpg)
She even said it. She was always aware she had no time, that she was destroying her body, and even said it many times.
After her divorce, she said this, and it mirrors exactly what i've been saying.
"My skin was a spotty mess and I was so pale and skinny. I thought to myself, 'Girl, you got to sort yourself out or you'll be dead soon.' I was depressed, doing drugs and had no life in me at all. Coming here has changed everything. "
"Blake looks like me, a right mess. But Josh is all handsome and clean and thats what I love about him. People might think we havent got anything in common but I get on like a house on fire with all his family despite them being so posh. When Im with Josh I dont need drugs to feel good because he makes me feel so amazing. We just had sex. . . cant you tell?
She may not be a victim, but she's still an human, fighting over problems, insecurity, feelings. She just chose the wrong medicine. So, it's not even close to being just another life wasted.
TL; DR She's not just another life being wasted, although a person with no control, even if she stopped, she wouldn't survive for much time, she was aware of that, and got more and more into drugs after she saw that her life had no solution anymore. She's not a saint, but she lacked a lot of care, a lot of love from people that were close to her, and gone to rehab just to sleep, because that was the only thing people thought she needed.
She gone to Rehab just to go on the mend, to get fixed for some time, to everyone, and her father, think that she's fine, that she's alright, when nothing was done, nothing was given for her to fight agains't her problems. Because it's a lot easy to get out of drugs, when everytime you try to get out, you remember of your life, look at all places, and find no one, just a bottle of alcohol or some drugs.
She's not innocent, but it's surely a big loss of an amazing artist, with an unique voice and style, that died for chosing the wrong solution to her problems. She's not that innocent, but she's not as guilty as many people put her to be. :X
