The Unforgiven Ones. [User-Controlled tale]

 read this first

before i begin, let me say these two things: firstly, since its been a week, im going to use the option which received the most votes. second, like i promised, i had a rough idea of what id do with the two options that didnt make it, and id share them with you all, so here they are:

 swing the knife backwards, break the arms hold, and escape the building before it collapses.

the plot would have been something like DeathNote/Juniper Lee, in that she would be haunted by demons, and she would be able to see them, as her botched ritual opened a portal to 'hell' and she left it open, so now a slew of demons are running loose, and her task is to stop them from destroying the world.

 surrender to the arms will and be pulled into the void.

similar to the aforementioned, but, she would be a normal girl that practices magic, and detailing her life... i didnt like this option, and am i GLAD this wasnt the main one. either the 1st or 2nd i was hopeful for, as either or could have gone in SOOOOOOOO many directions.

now then, back on track.

~~~~~
...I had come so far, so close to completing this ritual; I had only one option, and that was that I had to finish the task. No matter what happened, I needed to finish, I needed to get out of this nightmarish world I had to call home. The pointless wars, the countless dying all because of a corrupt government, I wanted to just get away from it all. Too many nights I cried myself to sleep, worrying if my brother would get shot down trying to do an evil task given to him by those evil men in the grey suits, with that red armband around their jacket sleeves. I hated them, and wanted to just get away.

I felt the arms starting to pull me away from the circle, and once again I resisted, shaking my arms free, but this time, there were more of them, more arms grabbing at me. I could feel them, they felt vile and sick, like the evils of this world were trying to consume me in their sick ways. They grabbed at me and almost completely immobilized me, pulling one of my arms behind my back and keeping it locked in place. But, using my free hand, I quickly drove the blackened blade of the knife down into the goo, and I could feel the crack of the silver medallion, and all at once everything went silent. All the thundering bombs overhead stopped, all the shaking of the ground ceased, and the beams and tiles from the roof of the old warehouse, burning and badly bombed out. Then, all at once, a deafening shriek was let loose, and I could feel it shake me down to my very core; ever fiber of my body started to feel incredibly heavy, and every breath was a strain on my lungs, the air started to grow incredibly cold, and the light started to fade from the world. In my last glimpses of the world, I turned back and looked over my shoulder, and I could vaguely see my friends clinging to my back, trying not to get pulled away by the void.

The shrieking sound coming from the knife started to fade, and instead turned into a low, droll, annoying buzzing sound. The black ooze started to melt away, and in my last moments of sight, I could see the blade of the knife, still blackened, with the medallion pierced by the tip of the blade, and the black ooze seeping into the cracks of the medallion. I could see the tiny little trinket shake and vibrate as the ooze seeped into it. Then, everything was nothingness; there was no light, there was no sound, there was no air to breathe, there was no ability to move, all time had frozen still. Everything became blackness, and I lost consciousness.

When I woke up, I was lying down, looking up at a roof, and looking down I could see a blanket made up of various animal pelts sewn together with leather bands. I looked around at this setting, and noticed that I was in some really danky shack. There was a makeshift stove set underneath a small window, the walls were made of wood and stone, the roof, from the inside, looked like it was made of straw, and, at the floor beside the bed, I saw my old clothes strewn on the floor. At once I lept out of bed, and, despite what I feared, I was clothed in simple cotton and leather robes. The garments were obviously old, and very ill fitting, they were very loose on my body. As I rose out of the bed, I could feel the top start to fall downwards, and my leggings start to slide off. I looked around for something I could've used to serve as a belt, and luckily enough there was one laying on the head of the bed post. I put it around my waist and fastened it, securing my pants safely in place; however, my top was still very loose, so I decided to take it off. I wasn't afraid, though obviously someone lived here.

I walked over to the stove and saw that there was a small black pot on top of it, and it smelled very delicious and tempting. There was a piece of paper lying on the small counter area on the stove, but I could not tell what it said. Carefully, I tried to lift the lid off of the pot, trying to not burn my fingertips. But, it was scalding hot, and as soon as my fingers touched it the nerve endings in my fingers started to cry out in agony. I looked around to find something i could use to try to lift the lid up, but, I couldn't find anything that looked like it would keep my hands from burning, even the tunic I discarded would not have been adequate. Deciding I would return to the food cooking in the pot later, I decided to explore the rest of the little hut. There was a room separated by a hanging curtain that had a strange symbol painted on it, in some blue coloring. Pushing it aside, I could see various swords, axes, spears, lances, and what looked like primitive rifles scattered about on the floor, against and hanging on the walls, and laying on a stone table. I looked around and inspected some of the weapons, and I immediately made note of the impressive detail that went into making the blades on the swords and axes; they were very beautifully polished, inscribed with incredibly calligraphic symbols, and in the hilt, various jewels were inlaid into the hand guard. The axes had holes drilled into the wide section of the base of each axe, and in the holes again, similar looking jewels were placed.

Suddenly, I heard a loud noise come from the other side of the curtain. Nervous, I grabbed one of the small daggers lying on the table and held it tightly in my hands, and steadied myself. I heard someone talking, but I couldn't understand what he was saying at all, but from what I guessed by the tone, it sounded like it was coming from a nervous man. I suspected that he was the one that owned this hut, so slowly I walked out from the curtain, still holding the knife in my hands. When he saw me, he looked like he was shocked to see me, and started to talk to me. I couldn't understand a single word he was saying.

Suddenly, i felt a heat grow on my chest, and I looked down and saw that the cracked silver pendant was dangling between my breasts, and it started to glow where it was cracked. Then, suddenly, I could understand what the frantic man was saying!

"Miss, please, put down that dagger, it is very dangerous and I don't want you hurting yourself, please, put the dagger down!" He kept gesturing with his hands and arms like he was putting something down, so I followed his instructions and put the knife back into its sheath. Immediately he rushed over the the table, picked up the dagger, took it out and inspected the blade, and once seeing it was fine, put it down gently on the table, let out a sigh, and looked up at me. "Who are you, what is your name?"

At first I tried to speak, but I wasnt sure if he would be able to understand me, so I stammered a bit, but, finally let out a soft "my name is Abigail."

The man stood up and grabbed me by my shoulders. His hands felt very hard and calloused. He looked me dead in the eyes, and asked me, "where did you come from?"

I looked up at him, and told him...
~~~~~

[ ] "Who are you, and what's your name?"
[ ] "Where am I, and how did I end up in this hut?"
[ ] "Can I have some of that food first?"

 Spoiler

not really sure how i wanted this to end, so i kinda ended it abruptly. though, i was able to think of 3 options. =/ i like the number 3, for obvious reasons. as you can guess, stabbing the medallion = transported to another world, and if you couldnt figure it out, abby and her friends lived during WWII era europe. abby's brother was a nazi soldier who identified himself as a german first, a nazi second, and didnt want to fight, but had no choice. she hated the war and what it was doing to her country, so she sought a way out. enter magic, and dark rites, yada yada. and yes, she was partially nude in the hut. if that offends you in any way, im sorry.

[x] "Where am I, and how did I end up in this hut?"

P.S. is the character hot/cute? >_>

[x] "Can I have some of that food first?"


If I may be honest and give you some feedback...

I know that you said before that you don't really preplan or edit this as you write, because you want it to be spontaneous. That's fine, but I'm finding that some parts are very distracting, and take away from your story.

The shrieking sound coming from the knife started to fade, and instead turned into a low, droll, annoying buzzing sound, and the black ooze started to melt away, and I could, in my last moments of sight, see the blade of the knife, still blackened, with the medallion pierced by the tip of the blade, and the black ooze seeping into the cracks of the medallion.

There are four "and's" and ten commas holding that sentence together. It felt awkward reading it through, and it feels like it should be split up into two or more sentences.

[x] "Where am I, and how did I end up in this hut?"

P.S. is the character hot/cute? >_>

...shes a roughly 16 year old girl in WWII era germany, so, use your imagination. i dont intend to give the main character much detail, insofar as extraneous information that isnt needed.i will say, however, say she has dirty blonde hair and is a girl.

and @Throws: always appreciate the criticisms, pointers, what have you, and i will make note of that for future reference. i am many times a victim of the comma splice. (goes to re-edit that paragraph now.)

"Where am I, and how did I end up in this hut?"