Stuck in moscow's airport

Learn Russian.

Start with "ya starayu uchitsə russkəmu yiziku", which is a phonetic approximation of the sentence "I'm trying to learn Russian" and will no doubt garner you many amused looks. The funny upside-down "e" symbol is because I'm picky; it's like the "uh" sound at the end of "Anna". The rest of it is pretty much similar to Spanish, except that all the Rs are trilled, not just doubles or initials.