Help me.. I'm going to find out within 30 minutes if...

SO MUCH THIS.

Though death i'd take this post as a grain of salt in terms of advice, not because it isn't legitimate advice but there's a lot of assumptions she's making. I understand where Sarah is coming from though, my first "online/long distance" destroyed me, and shes warning you that the exaggerations you are using are alarming. Although I think it's personally just the adraneline you feel of getting to see her again.

Yup this.

You're being extremely over-defensive. I made no such statement implying that I knew all about you or your life. Simply stating that you need to re-evaluate the situation if you actually feel THAT devastated by the prospect of not seeing her, because that's not love. I do, however, know all about relationships and people in general. I will be using the term "you" a lot in the following but I mean it in general, not as in you specifically.

You've only met this girl once and yet you're basically saying you can't live without her. That's about not wanting to be alone, especially based on the fact that you said previously that you're something of a recluse. Everyone wants to be loved but a relationship shouldn't be about needing the other person. It should be about just enjoying them consistently. The sort of feelings I commented on are relationship killers, because a person isn't thinking about the relationship as a long-term commitment but rather a "what can I get out of this now" situation. That's how a lot of people treat relationships, though, so it's not as if you're abnormal. But it's not healthy; you end up putting your psychological wants and needs on the other person and vice versa, which always pushes people away.

Anyway, I'm not bitter. I've been in that sort of relationship, and I know where it leads. I've seen dozens of other people fail the same way. It's also easier to get depressed when things don't work out because you've put too much feeling into something unrealistically. It's all about "you" and not "us." That can be changed, and that was why I brought this up. No relationship should make you feel like that. You can be excited and anxious about the prospect of seeing someone you love without feeling like the world will come crashing down if you don't. Gotta make it work without NEEDING to make it work. Gotta be aloof!

In the end, I think it's great that you've found someone you feel like you connect with. I am happy for you in that regard. Just... not happy about watching you self-destruct.

I don't even know where to start.
I think I gave you an extremely wrong image of how I am with this thread.
It's not about psychological wants at all. ofcourse I miss kissing her and holding her hand and such.. but I would never even consider a
LDR if I felt like I needed that the whole time. I fell in love with her because of how she is and I enjoy talking to her everyday. But you
can't say that a person can go completely without physical attention. It's in fact a huge part of a relationship and we simply don't have it.
That's the reason why I was so anxious for this. And not just that, I want her to meet my family because we have more plans in the future.
(It's probably wise not to say anything about this).

And i'm sorry but I do need her. Why? Because my life isnt exactly the best one there is and she is helping me a lot with being happier
with everything in general.

I was fully aware of the whole LDR thing when I started it. It took me a half year to decide if I should actually go for it. But I ended up
liking her a lot more than I imagined and eventually she felt the same. So I asked her to start a LDR with me.

And, yeah the whole thing I wrote was still based off being nervous as hell. This trip wasn't just about me or her it was about how it
would go in the future aswell. If we cant even get her parents to trust her or me, how could we possibly improve it? I've done
everything I could to make it better but it's hard.

I just think you took the ''needing'' part a little different than I expected. I'm sorry, but I do need the person who I love because she helps me being
positive. And just so you know we had this last summer aswell and she couldn't come. Ofcourse I was really bummed out and felt pretty crappy for a
few days but it's not like I got depressed as pineapple and stopped living my life. That will never happen. I pretty much wrote this with shaking hands
because I wanted to see if she could finally meet my family aswell and make our relationship stronger. Something like this helps a lot in a LDR and
that is why I was so set on hoping it would work out. Not because I really cant live with her or i'll die or get depressed.

And I have never been depressed in the time I was with her. Like I explained above the summer where it didnt work out before was probably
the worst thing we've had in our relationship and I just felt crappy for a couple of days. that's it. After that I started working on a plan to see her
another time and we moved on.

And really, the physical part of our relationship will never get in the way. It's just something that helps us getting through this till we can arrange
different things in the future. If I wanted physical things all the time I would have gotten together with girls in my town. (And yes, it's not like I was
desperate I started to look for a girl on the internet, and I know you're not assuming this but many others do.)

She's just special to me and I want everything to work out and get through the next two years in any way possible. And the summer would
just improve it a lot. That is all.


EDIT: I know I shouldn't say this and I regret it already typing this but we've already looked into finding a job for me in the US.
And no, not just because of her but it's been my dream to go to america since I was a little boy. Believe me or not. Her being there
just makes it better, but my decisions in the future will never completely based off her.