2012-04-23, 11:11 AM
You're being extremely over-defensive. I made no such statement implying that I knew all about you or your life. Simply stating that you need to re-evaluate the situation if you actually feel THAT devastated by the prospect of not seeing her, because that's not love. I do, however, know all about relationships and people in general. I will be using the term "you" a lot in the following but I mean it in general, not as in you specifically.
You've only met this girl once and yet you're basically saying you can't live without her. That's about not wanting to be alone, especially based on the fact that you said previously that you're something of a recluse. Everyone wants to be loved but a relationship shouldn't be about needing the other person. It should be about just enjoying them consistently. The sort of feelings I commented on are relationship killers, because a person isn't thinking about the relationship as a long-term commitment but rather a "what can I get out of this now" situation. That's how a lot of people treat relationships, though, so it's not as if you're abnormal. But it's not healthy; you end up putting your psychological wants and needs on the other person and vice versa, which always pushes people away.
Anyway, I'm not bitter. I've been in that sort of relationship, and I know where it leads. I've seen dozens of other people fail the same way. It's also easier to get depressed when things don't work out because you've put too much feeling into something unrealistically. It's all about "you" and not "us." That can be changed, and that was why I brought this up. No relationship should make you feel like that. You can be excited and anxious about the prospect of seeing someone you love without feeling like the world will come crashing down if you don't. Gotta make it work without NEEDING to make it work. Gotta be aloof!
In the end, I think it's great that you've found someone you feel like you connect with. I am happy for you in that regard. Just... not happy about watching you self-destruct.
You've only met this girl once and yet you're basically saying you can't live without her. That's about not wanting to be alone, especially based on the fact that you said previously that you're something of a recluse. Everyone wants to be loved but a relationship shouldn't be about needing the other person. It should be about just enjoying them consistently. The sort of feelings I commented on are relationship killers, because a person isn't thinking about the relationship as a long-term commitment but rather a "what can I get out of this now" situation. That's how a lot of people treat relationships, though, so it's not as if you're abnormal. But it's not healthy; you end up putting your psychological wants and needs on the other person and vice versa, which always pushes people away.
Anyway, I'm not bitter. I've been in that sort of relationship, and I know where it leads. I've seen dozens of other people fail the same way. It's also easier to get depressed when things don't work out because you've put too much feeling into something unrealistically. It's all about "you" and not "us." That can be changed, and that was why I brought this up. No relationship should make you feel like that. You can be excited and anxious about the prospect of seeing someone you love without feeling like the world will come crashing down if you don't. Gotta make it work without NEEDING to make it work. Gotta be aloof!
In the end, I think it's great that you've found someone you feel like you connect with. I am happy for you in that regard. Just... not happy about watching you self-destruct.