2008-11-17, 05:43 PM
Well, if I died tomorrow in an accident, I would want my fiance to get past the grief and live a happy life without me. Yes, I know it sounds cheesy. Of course, I would hope that I hold a special place in his heart that nobody could ever replace, but at the same time I'd hope that he would find someone else in the world who could love him as much as I do. It would be incredibly selfish and unrealistic for me to hope that he would remain single and think only of me for the rest of his life. Of course, it hurts to even think of him with anybody else, but if he were to find someone else who truly made him happy, it would be worth it.
If I were to become mentally or physically disabled though... I'd say it really, really depends on the nature of the disability. Am I still aware of my surroundings? Am I still able to communicate with others? Do I remember who I am? Or am I essentially a vegetable on a respirator? (Though I've already told my fiance to pull the plug if something like that were to happen... I will not be a financial drain to my family if I sustain major brain damage and cannot function apart from a respirator. But that is another topic entirely.)
In any situation, of course, I would be lying if I said that I would want my fiance to leave me, or that I would want to leave my fiance. I don't want either of those things. What I would want is for my fiance to choose whatever would make him happy... and hope that he chooses me. The last thing I want though, is for him to feel obligated to stay with me, out of guilt, or out of a sense of "duty," or anything like that. I would rather have him leave me and be happy than be "stuck" with me and feel miserable.
When I turn the question around and ask myself, "what would I do if something like that ever happened to him?" the answer just seems so clear that I hope he would think the same.
If I were to become mentally or physically disabled though... I'd say it really, really depends on the nature of the disability. Am I still aware of my surroundings? Am I still able to communicate with others? Do I remember who I am? Or am I essentially a vegetable on a respirator? (Though I've already told my fiance to pull the plug if something like that were to happen... I will not be a financial drain to my family if I sustain major brain damage and cannot function apart from a respirator. But that is another topic entirely.)
In any situation, of course, I would be lying if I said that I would want my fiance to leave me, or that I would want to leave my fiance. I don't want either of those things. What I would want is for my fiance to choose whatever would make him happy... and hope that he chooses me. The last thing I want though, is for him to feel obligated to stay with me, out of guilt, or out of a sense of "duty," or anything like that. I would rather have him leave me and be happy than be "stuck" with me and feel miserable.
When I turn the question around and ask myself, "what would I do if something like that ever happened to him?" the answer just seems so clear that I hope he would think the same.