Familiars?

Wouldn't this all be server-sided errors? Maybe they were messing around, thus making buffs dispel upon death and screwing up the damage registering. I've no idea what I'm talking about, but it seems to make sense in my head

Could be. Your guess is as good as mine, I really have no idea. It's really weird though. I hope they fix it with the next update or whatever, not being able to leech with familiars is one problem but not being able to use Soul Stone at bosses is totally stupid.