2008-11-11, 01:05 AM
jk, I'd actually like to talk to you ladies and gentlemen about penises. How do you handle them? Do you even give a shi't about them? I hate penises. Every time I see a penis sitting somewhere it shouldn't be I am faced with a dilemma. A penis is essentially a piece of garbage...but I can't bring myself to throw them away 'cause technically it's money. Who throws away money?
They're just a nuisance. I mean, from now on I should just start saying "keep the penises" instead of "keep the change". Why do I even say keep the change if I'm always picking up penises? Wouldn't I want those penises back to add to my pocket full of penises? You're everywhere, and there's no way to avoid facing at least one of these little bronze sh'its in a normal day. We've got this little bowl on the counter in the kitchen, right. That's our spare.. bowl. We put our wallets, maybe watches or jewelry if we want to put it on later, socks, everything in the bowl. You know what's at the bottom? SPARE COINS. When I wake up in the morning and try to find some quarters so I can buy a bottle of water at school I miss the bus, because for every one quarter there's f'uckin' twenty penises. They ruin my life, guise..
I mean right now, I'm at my computer desk obviously. I look to the right and what do I see? Five penises sitting there, surrounding my empty can of mountain dew. I'll walk into the kitchen and there's more penises laying there on the table. Then there's that penis orgy going on in the bowl. Oh, and there's my pocket. I can't tell you how many times I look in the creases of the sofa and find PENISES. Because NOBODY IN MY FAMILY WANTS THEM yet WE ALL PICK THEM UP. BECAUSE IT'S MONEY. BUT WHO THE F'UCK USES PENISES.
They're just a nuisance. I mean, from now on I should just start saying "keep the penises" instead of "keep the change". Why do I even say keep the change if I'm always picking up penises? Wouldn't I want those penises back to add to my pocket full of penises? You're everywhere, and there's no way to avoid facing at least one of these little bronze sh'its in a normal day. We've got this little bowl on the counter in the kitchen, right. That's our spare.. bowl. We put our wallets, maybe watches or jewelry if we want to put it on later, socks, everything in the bowl. You know what's at the bottom? SPARE COINS. When I wake up in the morning and try to find some quarters so I can buy a bottle of water at school I miss the bus, because for every one quarter there's f'uckin' twenty penises. They ruin my life, guise..
I mean right now, I'm at my computer desk obviously. I look to the right and what do I see? Five penises sitting there, surrounding my empty can of mountain dew. I'll walk into the kitchen and there's more penises laying there on the table. Then there's that penis orgy going on in the bowl. Oh, and there's my pocket. I can't tell you how many times I look in the creases of the sofa and find PENISES. Because NOBODY IN MY FAMILY WANTS THEM yet WE ALL PICK THEM UP. BECAUSE IT'S MONEY. BUT WHO THE F'UCK USES PENISES.