The Trifecta of Happiness

Haven't read the blog, but I have a hard time taking a "trifecta of happiness" that lacks "health" as a major component seriously.

How can you be happy if you're unable to sleep properly, if you wake up every day to pain, if you can't enjoy a meal without first grilling the cook on what's in it, if your body won't cooperate to let you do what you want to do at work, with your lover, or with your friends?

EXCELLENT point, and I honestly agree...though because personal health is paramount to life itself, I wouldn't necessarily mix it in with the trio (though incurable, chronic, debilitating conditions provide a solid argument for health's inclusion).

Instead, I'd expand this "trifecta" idea more into the beautiful model that already exists in human psychology, Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs.

Long story short, for those who don't know of the theory, (as the Wiki article says): Maslow's hierarchy of needs is often portrayed in the shape of a pyramid, with the largest and most fundamental levels of needs at the bottom, and the need for self-actualization at the top. Said pyramid is reproduced below, and is hopefully self-explanatory, though of course read more in the article if still confused.

 Spoiler

Interestingly enough, in looking at the pyramid after thinking about and discussing this so-called trifecta, it's curious to note that the trifecta is actually split between two levels here, with occupation in the second-to-fundamental tier and the rest only in the middle. The important caveat is this measures relative necessity of these various elements of life, not true value in them with regards to having the "dream" friends, lover, and job, but it's still interesting to point out.

I honestly don't believe this, like not to talk down to anyone but I have the perfect (forme) girlfriend, my best friend of like a decade always has my back and we go out like every week at least once, and my coworkers make my job fun, sure I get some frustrating people but we laugh about it. I still enjoy my job because I help people who need help. Yet by definition of this trifecta, I should be happy, but even then I still have my emo days that I feel like I need to accomplish more, or I realize my lack of interests and hit a self esteem slope.

Although, I am majority happy and I hit that slope maybe once every 4-5 months

Section from the blog post I think might help:

I tried to think of who I knew that had already had the dream relationship and the dream job. I thought real hard and could only come up with one person. She’s only 24 but I bet if you asked her if she “had it all” she would say no. Why? Because “having it all” is a mostly BS concept. The culture that we were raised in have made that an impossible goal. No matter how much success we achieve, people are always going to want what someone else has.

I feel like this is where you are, even with the best friend thrown in the mix. I guess the best way to say this is to explain why I asked about the duration of individual trifectas, for those who feel they've had them: as the famous teaching in Buddhism goes, "nothing is permanent." No one can expect acquire the trifecta at some point in their lives and have it for forever thereafter - a friend might pass away, turbulent problems may arise with a loved one, global economic fluctuations could result in a lay off - and thus I feel it's natural to not always feel like one has the complete trio.

That being said, you've said you do, yet still have moments of "self esteem slopes," which is why I think the above blog quote is important: even when having everything we question whether there's more we can do. It's only natural, and I think the important factor is your concluding sentence, that you only experience this every 4-5 months, and on the whole are happy. That's not to justify the trifecta to you, as I don't think it's a big deal if you personally believe it or not, but just to throw in another perspective towards your relationship with it.