2011-08-23, 06:27 PM
Seems good but five little problems. One, why do you call the demon slayer Valfar? Two, who is Eleanor? Is she the black which? If she is why don't you just call her the black which? Three, what does Victoria island have to do with mu lung? I mean their is not even some way to teleport to mu lung from Victoria island. Why not just have Goire take control of mu lung and you have to break his remnants there? Four, As said before the seal stones have been used before, so why are you using them again? and five, why is the demon slayer bad? This happens in the present so he should be good. He was only bad back during the first reign of the black mage and then he turned on him because the black mage ordered his house destroyed and his family killed(no idea why though)