Original League of Legends (LoL) Thread

 Spoiler

It is so depressing when you carry your entire team as Malphite, or any tank. I got more kills and assists than our two dps carries combined, I saved people from death countless times, yet not once during that epic length game would my team trust me to initiate. I lead them to the enemy when they're doing dragon, I lead them to the enemy doing our own golem, I find the enemy in intimate positions of heartbreaking vulnerability, yet our team would just not trust the tank.
If your tank is playing a perfect game, and tells you to follow him, then do it. Your tank will lead you to victory. Your tank will not lie to you. Your tank is the general, the philosopher, the shepherd, the chieftain. Lay aside your arrogance and realize who the tank is. What the tank is thinking, feeling.
You see the jungle as a scary place. Malphite sees that jungle as an opportunity. A place to build, to grow, to raise a family. He looks at you and wonders why you've died 12 times, giving the enemy about 10 million gold, yet haven't seen fit to buy a single ward that costs 90 gold--a mere couple creep kills, less than the cost of 3 potions. You could put a ward near golem. Near dragon. Maybe one near Baron. Then we could see with glorious clear eyes, instead of some suffocating black miasma. Malphite sees the jungle as a place full of flimsy, vulnerable bodies who've built solely for attack damage and AP, just waiting to be torn apart by a well-placed Unstoppable Force. Malphite will lead you to victory. That's a promise. Remember, Malphite isn't mad. He's just sorrowful. He's like a gentle dad who finds his son doing something wrong, and holds him close, trying to make him a better person through sheer grace of heart.
O, Physical carries and casters, you attract arrogant types, always looking out for number one, always thinking of that sweet k/d/r. Tanks? Tanks do it for the love. Do you think Alistair enjoys farming? Patiently pushing? Saving up laboriously for one of the maybe three items he'll get all game? Do you think we enjoy initiating only to find that you all ran back to base for no earthly reason, leaving us to slowly die a painful, lingering death?
For God's sake, I'm begging you, put aside your ruinous pride and let your tank help you, even as you plummet into hell. To all the Alistairs, Malphites, Shens, Ammumus, Singed, Rammus, and so on that have laid their life on the line for a bunch of unsophisticated, greedy, hooligan gluttons--we salute you. Maybe in Heaven someone will pineappleing let you initiate.

-Credit to Alabaster

QFT. Can't say how many times people don't give a effing damn about the importance of people volunteering to be the team's meat shield.