2011-06-26, 09:25 AM
You said you wouldn't let smoking determine whether or not you stayed with someone (OP), but I'm not sure I could really be with someone who is adamant on smoking cigarettes. They're addictive, smelly, and gross. They turn your teeth yellow and make your breathe smell rank. The irradiated fertilizer used has a high chance of giving you cancer if you're a regular smoker. I just don't think it's something I could ever see myself wanting to deal with at a later stage in life, namely if I planned to have kids with said woman (or man, in other's cases). Right now I'd date a smoker, probably, as long as I was able to establish my own ground rules.
If it's weed they're smoking, I really could care less how much they want to smoke, where, or when as long as they're sensible enough to get things done and have their priorities in order first. That's all I ask. I can't say don't smoke weed because, well, I do. To be honest, I'd only date someone who smokes weed at this point. Obviously I wouldn't date someone who is against it because it's part of my lifestyle and I don't feel like giving it up for someone. Not right now at least. I also wouldn't date someone who is just "okay" with it because eventually that becomes, "Well, I was, but now it makes me uncomfortable..." kind of thing.
As far as dealing with close ones who smoke...well, my mom has smoked cigarettes since she was my age (19) and I'm sure younger, probably 16 or 17. She used to smoke a pack a day and so did my dad. Then when they got divorced, so did my step-dad. Then when they got divorced, my next step-dad (the current one) smoked, too, but not nearly as much. They might smoke a few a day now, but definitely not a pack. I used to be really worried about her because statistically speaking she'd be ripe for smoking-related health problems right around now given all that smoking she did for so long but it didn't turn out how I thought. After she met my new step-dad and mellowed out with the smoking everything seemingly has been fine, fortunately.
But know this: My mom has 3 kids. 21, 19, and 12. For as long as we all can remember, we've more or less been asking her to stop smoking our entire lives. I think the longest she's ever quit for was a few months max. Even after my old step-dad quit and made his life a little better, she still keep doing it, amazingly. At a certain point, it's just like, "Well, there's really nothing more I can do," and if she wants to create problems for herself then I'm going to let her. Threatening her won't work, obviously. Taking her cigarettes would just piss her off and get me in trouble. Begging hasn't worked for over 10 years. So yeah. It's hard to quit. I believe it. Very hard. And unless put in between a rock and a REALLY hard place, I doubt that it's going to change for a lot of people.
If it's weed they're smoking, I really could care less how much they want to smoke, where, or when as long as they're sensible enough to get things done and have their priorities in order first. That's all I ask. I can't say don't smoke weed because, well, I do. To be honest, I'd only date someone who smokes weed at this point. Obviously I wouldn't date someone who is against it because it's part of my lifestyle and I don't feel like giving it up for someone. Not right now at least. I also wouldn't date someone who is just "okay" with it because eventually that becomes, "Well, I was, but now it makes me uncomfortable..." kind of thing.
As far as dealing with close ones who smoke...well, my mom has smoked cigarettes since she was my age (19) and I'm sure younger, probably 16 or 17. She used to smoke a pack a day and so did my dad. Then when they got divorced, so did my step-dad. Then when they got divorced, my next step-dad (the current one) smoked, too, but not nearly as much. They might smoke a few a day now, but definitely not a pack. I used to be really worried about her because statistically speaking she'd be ripe for smoking-related health problems right around now given all that smoking she did for so long but it didn't turn out how I thought. After she met my new step-dad and mellowed out with the smoking everything seemingly has been fine, fortunately.
But know this: My mom has 3 kids. 21, 19, and 12. For as long as we all can remember, we've more or less been asking her to stop smoking our entire lives. I think the longest she's ever quit for was a few months max. Even after my old step-dad quit and made his life a little better, she still keep doing it, amazingly. At a certain point, it's just like, "Well, there's really nothing more I can do," and if she wants to create problems for herself then I'm going to let her. Threatening her won't work, obviously. Taking her cigarettes would just piss her off and get me in trouble. Begging hasn't worked for over 10 years. So yeah. It's hard to quit. I believe it. Very hard. And unless put in between a rock and a REALLY hard place, I doubt that it's going to change for a lot of people.