2011-05-21, 10:16 AM
And by support, I mean helping others that are close to you that are in need (the mental/emotional hardship rather than pthe hysical "got some spare cash" type).
I have real issues understanding the way people use the word "support" sometimes. I personally feel that supporting someone is to help them out when they need it, ultimately to their betterment and towards the goal that they'll know how to overcome whatever hindered them again should it re-occur (NOT because I'd rather not deal with them again unless the same thing had happened too many times to count, but because I feel independence is an important asset/trait that everyone should be accustomed to to some degree in case they need it).
Anecdote: a friend of mine has been trying to quit smoking for years (over 18, living with parents). Her parents know this, and know how much she wants to quit and are apparently "supportive" of her efforts. However, she told me herself that if at any point she asked her mother to driver her to the store for some cigarettes, that her mother would comply and do exactly that. Apparently this is still "supporting" her, but I can't see how. Her ultimate goal was to quit, why in the world would you facilitate an action that would completely scupper the end goal (or at least set it back)? The only way I can see this being even remotely supportive is that they are "supporting" their daughters addiction to smoking which was exactly what she DIDN'T want in the first place.
Where does that leave them? Apparently I'm the one with a skewed definition since I'm assuming people can and want to be changed and that my actions/words can have any real effect on anyone, but really. In such obvious cases like that how is what they're doing more "supportive" than what I'd do (refuse unerringly)? I'm fairly sure the word "support" does NOT mean to facilitate terrible decisions. I'm not one that'd happily let someone ruin their life.
Opinions SP? I hope this thread isn't too ambiguous.
I have real issues understanding the way people use the word "support" sometimes. I personally feel that supporting someone is to help them out when they need it, ultimately to their betterment and towards the goal that they'll know how to overcome whatever hindered them again should it re-occur (NOT because I'd rather not deal with them again unless the same thing had happened too many times to count, but because I feel independence is an important asset/trait that everyone should be accustomed to to some degree in case they need it).
Anecdote: a friend of mine has been trying to quit smoking for years (over 18, living with parents). Her parents know this, and know how much she wants to quit and are apparently "supportive" of her efforts. However, she told me herself that if at any point she asked her mother to driver her to the store for some cigarettes, that her mother would comply and do exactly that. Apparently this is still "supporting" her, but I can't see how. Her ultimate goal was to quit, why in the world would you facilitate an action that would completely scupper the end goal (or at least set it back)? The only way I can see this being even remotely supportive is that they are "supporting" their daughters addiction to smoking which was exactly what she DIDN'T want in the first place.
Where does that leave them? Apparently I'm the one with a skewed definition since I'm assuming people can and want to be changed and that my actions/words can have any real effect on anyone, but really. In such obvious cases like that how is what they're doing more "supportive" than what I'd do (refuse unerringly)? I'm fairly sure the word "support" does NOT mean to facilitate terrible decisions. I'm not one that'd happily let someone ruin their life.
Opinions SP? I hope this thread isn't too ambiguous.
Spoiler